Time to Play the Game....

I've been up since 3am EST. Went to bed at 11pm EST and I do mean, fell asleep. That is too late to go to bed and way too early for me to be up. 4 hours sleep, is not enough. But this is a typical problem I have once I start working out again, My Body attempts to go back to a time long since gone where I used to, and can, while NOT RECOMMENDED, function on 4 hours sleep.
>_<
I'm not exactly a happy camper this morning.

I've spent the last half-hour typing up this morning's journal-entry for My Son. Covered a lot of ground. But to sit here and type up journal-entries, while I just had My Mother call me yesterday. Annnnnnnnnd Friday. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, Thursday. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, she's trying to weasel her way back into My Life. After once again showing Me that she's a scumbag bitch. And yes, I just typed the fact that I called My Mother, a scumbag-bitch.

Now?
If you want someone who is gonna make hashtags and claim how much they love their mother and all that, while Mum has allowed all kinds of horrific atrocities to happen to Their Child and has done ZERO ABOUT IT, EVER.
Well?
This ain't the blog for you and I damn sure am NOT the person for you to be reading.

You wanna make excuses for having shitty-parents while wondering why you can't fuckin do shit right and instinctively know how to DO SHIT THE WRONG WAY?
Look no further than who gave birth to you and brought you into this world, then think about;
What did My Parents HONESTLY TEACH ME?

After you answer THAT QUESTION?
THEN YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURSELF.
Because the Reality Is that at some point or another you knew and know that Your Parents DID NOT EQUIP YOU WITH THE TOOLS YOU NEEDED TO BE PRODUCTIVE IN THIS WORLD. The question THEN BECOMES what have you done about that to CORRECT THAT?

If you think you've corrected things by turtling-up in your safe little corner, good for you. You've simply found a safe spot to hide at till Your Life can no longer be avoided as being a FAILURE. 
Hiding in the bushes of Life doesn't mean you've fixed anything, addressed anything, corrected anything, learned anything or even WORSE, accomplished anything, with Your Life. All it really means is that YOU KNOW YOU ARE INADEQUATE and your solution is to HIDE.
Good Job.
Go do that.
Not to worry, Reality will find you and You Shall Be, REMINDED OF WHY YOU ARE HIDING.
And you will have NO SAY OR CONTROL over what happens to you next!

And understand something, this isn't some veiled message towards you Stacey, don't insult me. If I wanna speak to you, then I speak to you be it here or if I decide through direct communication. So I don't need nor want you to think OR CONFUSE ME WITH YOU. I got something to say I'M GONE SAY IT and this isn't about trying to kiss Your Ass to make You OR ANYONE ELSE FEEL COMFORTABLE SO WE CAN "BECOME COOL" or "WHATEVER".

I type all of this because My Mother once again, last year, decided to go on ahead and do some shit that was REPREHENSIBLE! AND INTENTIONALLY SO! Where she had NO PROBLEM with lending me money to help with My Apartment. But she REMEMBERED THAT I'D TURNED DOWN JOB OPS THAT WOULD HAVE PAID A START SALARY OF $30,000 FUCKIN DOLLARS MINIMUM, LEMME RETYPE THAT SHIT AGAIN, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMINIMUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

And this is ALSO WHY I AM ADDRESSING YOU, Stacey, because I know you'll read this and say "Oh he's taking a shot at me and still doing the"
You better wake up, woman.
For real.
You are NOW READING why I used to talk the way I talked about I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO MAKE FUCKIN MONEY! I DIDN'T FUCKIN NEED DAN OR EVEN YOU! TO LEND ME SHIT! And when you're a MAN who KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE SUCCESSFUL! IT IS OFFENSIVE, IT IS EMBARRASSING, IT IS INSULTING!

When you gotta BEG AND BORROW FROM OTHERS! WHEN YOU SHOULDN'T NEED TO IF CERTAIN PEOPLE STOP FUCKIN TAKING THEIR GODDAMN PETTY-ASS JEALOUSIES OUT ON YOU AND INTERFERING, because they see;
That you're better than them.
That no matter how many times they TRY to turn you into some HEARTLESS, MONSTER, heh.

Not gonna happen, momma.
Now?
Here she comes, AGAIN.
No apologies.
No nothing and while YOU, Stacey Ann Kell, MAY TOLERATE AND ACCEPT, SITUATIONAL LOVE, no. I will NOT. And understand, I KNOW WHY you get and GOT so bent outta shape over ME TELLING YOU TO WAIT!

And it was because that is all you are told to do by Your Own Family Members, when you need them. So I GET THAT. I UNDERSTAND THAT. Like You, I love My Mother, but? UNLIKE YOU, I am a MAN. And men don't GET SYMPATHY FOR REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND FUCKIN OVER AGAIN! Nobody is gonna feel sorry and give me chances, because I keep repeating the same OBVIOUS MISTAKE.

When I was typing this morning's journal-entry to My Son, I kept having to DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT, My Mother knew what was going on. She KNEW what Noni was about to do. DID NOTHING. TO STOP SHIT! Not a GODDAMN THING, but when Noni tried to kill herself using her prescription meds that Christmas Holiday before all of this shit ever happened, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHE WAS PISSED! She didn't give A FUCK ABOUT WHY NONI DID SHIT! All she carried about was "HOW SHE GONE TRY TO KILL HERSELF USING MY SHIT UP IN MY FUCKIN HOUSE!"

Yet she sided with this SAME WOMAN, when she told her what she was fittin to do to me with that domestic abuse BULLSHIT! CUT HERSELF A FUCKIN DEAL! TO SEE MY SON! WHERE SHE, BECAME MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAN ME AND I'M HIS FATHER!? Sound familiar? That's why it was EASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY for me to spot Sharde sneaking around in the bushes and pretending to be Randyl's mother for as long as it was convenient.
You see, now you see?
I IGNORE THIS.
Like she's IGNORED APOLOGIZING TO ME!?
With all that EMPTY.
HOLLOW!
"I love you." bullshit.
Really?
No no, really?
If I IGNORE THIS, then;

No.
It is time that I make an example, out of this PERENNIAL TRAITOR.
Where she lent me that rent money. Because it put me in debt to her.
But when I asked to use her truck for that same month she was gone?
Where she knew that I'd told her that a couple of those jobs had told me "You get a car or whatever, then we can work something out, but...!? We're inaccessible to public transit, sorry."

I could have RENTED A CAR, with the very first paycheck with a pay rate of that magnitude. And she knew it. Even typing this I can still see the look on her face as she boldfaced lied to me and had that look like "Ohhhhhhhhhh, noh, nigga. I'm not helping you get out of shit." and you know that look, don't you Stacey? You know that same look just as well as I do. You can go and pretend to be cool with fools who can turn on you in an instant.
I find it interesting that My Mother just happens to show up right while My Momentum and Morale is High.
-_-
I don't see that as random chance, but instead it is...?
Fortunate.
Coincidence.
A good time for Me to be Tested by Life, By REALITY.
Am I going to let this woman get back in so she can repeat the same thing she always does...?

Or is it time for me to remind her of why she intentionally tried to disarm me from treating her like I normally treat liars and traitors....

I don't need.

Nor will I do.

Anything over the top.

Because she is My Mother, however...?

It is past due time that I stop being lenient to this woman.

Good. 

Morning.

From Philadelphia....