I'm Still Outta Sorts....

I'm still outta sorts from doing two 8 hour shifts where there was a 5 hour GAP between them. BUT for me to be able to DO THE SHIFTS I COULDN'T LEAVE THE FACTORY GROUNDS. Thanks to the Demoncratic National Convention that polluted My City.

So I worked from 9am - 5pm, then had from 5pm - till - 10pm to TRY TO FIND A WAY TO GET SLEEP! Because then it was 10pm to 6am! I tried getting sleep in someplace NOT MEANT FOR THAT, yeah. I did BETTER THAN MOST. But I literally got 1 hour sleep and AUTOMATICALLY WOKE UP because of how uncomfortable it was! So I slept in 1 HOUR BLOCKS OF CONTORTED DISCOMFORT ON YE OLE SHORT COUCH MEANT FOR AVERAGE SIZED WOMEN!

>_<

Either way!?
I made it from 5pm to 6pm.
Woke up.
Neck fucked up, LEMME TELL YA SOMETHING!?
THE YOGA IS THE ONLY REASON WHY I COULD GET ANY SLEEP AT ALL!

And the fact that I'VE GONE BACK TO IT IS WHAT SAVED MY ASS!
Because by the time 5am EST hit THIS MORNING!? On that OVERNIGHT SHIFT!?
SHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

I was like!?
This was a, THEN IT HIT ME!? I GOTTA FUCKIN WALK TO THE FUCKIN 2ND TO LAST STATION BECAUSE THERE IS NO SHUTTLEBUS ON THE FUCKIN WEEKENDS! AND THEY SHORTENED THE SUBWAY ROUTE BECAUSE OF THOSE GODDAMN LIARS AND THIEVES CONVENTION!

So right now, I JUST SCANNED THE ARTWORK!
I'm TRYING TO TYPE OUT SHIT FOR THE TANSOBA STORYLINE!?

Not working!
The bed IS CALLING!
That's the only thing WORKING!

I did however GET THE AIR CONDITIONER!
^_^!!!!!
SO NO MORE BURNING UP FOR ME!
I only hope MY SON IS MORE COMFORTABLE THAN ME!
This is the shit that makes me ANGRY!
Noni NOT ANSWERING PHONE CALLS AND SHIT.
Because then I can't KNOW FOR FACT what is going on and WHAT IS NOT GETTING DONE!
SO I CAN FUCKIN HELP OR SOLVE SHIT!

This is THE PETTINESS that We have ALLOWED OURSELVES TO BE REDUCED TO!
Something I am going to CHANGE.

Either way, I'm going BACK TO BED!
Because of course after I finished work.
I was all fucked up.
THEN HAD TO FUCKIN WALK A WHOLE LOTTA LOTTA BLOCKS AND SHIT!
CITY-BLOCKS!
NEXT TO FUCKIN HIGHWAYS AND SHIT!

Then RENT WAS DUE TODAY!
Had to GO PAY THAT!
End of the month, TRANSPASS NEEDS TO BE BOUGHT FOR NEXT MONTH!
Had to GO GET THAT!
So I didn't FINALLY GET IN THE BED TILL DAMN NEAR 12 FUCKIN NOON!

After getting SHITTY-SHORT-COUCH SLEEP AT WORK! Then giving up on that shit! GOING UPSTAIRS TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM!
Drawing out the new Mang-Queen picture!
Then spending the 10pm to 6am shift INKING AND COLORING, look at that, I almost put COLOURING. Inking and coloring her ass. THEN WALKING! >_< While damn near having FELL ASLEEP in that LAST HOUR OF WORK!

Then realizing when I got back, I CAN'T GO TO FUCKIN BED! Then WALKING AND RIDING BUSES AND GOING TO BANKS AND 69TH STREET STATION TO GET TRANSPORTATION and then realizing that...?

Had My Mother lent me her truck LAST YEAR in October?
I'd have either gone to the 35k or 45k job and GUESS WHAT!?
Yeah you already know.
I certainly WOULDN'T BE BITCHIN ABOUT ALL THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW, NOW WOULD I!?

And ask YOURSELF, what kind of Mother would INTENTIONALLY SABOTAGE their own son like that? On the PERSONAL LEVEL it has to do with what she thinks of me and Our Relationship. ON THE MACRO-LEVEL THOUGH, her fucked up mind comes directly from the fact that Her Own Father LOST ALL OF HIS EMOTIONS AND WAS PERMANENTLY PSYCHOLOGICALLY CRIPPLED! When he had to sit and watch his older brother bleed out on the streets of New Orleans because Whites refused to send ambulances to the Black part of the city. Again, PRIOR TO THIS, according to My Mother. My Grandfather used to be a GREAT GUY TO HANG AROUND! And while he could be A LITTLE TOO HAPPY-GO-LUCKY!? He was a NICE MAN who WAS VERY EMPATHETIC TO OTHERS.

And I type this all to REMIND YOU AS BLACK PEOPLE. Our TOLERATING BEING EVERYBODY'S TARGET! Is CAUSING IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO OUR FAMILIES, FRIENDS AND FUTURE! Because once His Older Brother died? Then the Man I called Grandfather, came into existence. And there was nothing else except for Work. And more work. WITH EXTRA WORK. Life's ONLY MEANING was WORK. No Joy. No Happiness. NO LAUGHTER. Even after I just typed that I only remember ONE TIME DID I EVER SEE HIM LAUGH, EVER! Make no mistake Grandpop told me A LOT. But he also taught me WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN PSYCHOLOGICALLY TRAUMATIZED BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE SAYS I DON'T HAVE TO DO MY JOB.

But you still have to PAY TAXES AND CONTRIBUTE TO MY SYSTEM THAT FUCKS YOU OVER.

HAH! Nope. I will NOT blindly go along with any ole thing. Because I have had to see and deal with the consequences of it ON A VERY PERSONAL LEVEL. My Aunt Shirley was driven insane by Whites who were jealous of her artistic talents. And once it happened, My Grandfather simply SHUT DOWN ALL TALK OF ANYMORE "LIBERAL ARTS". Thus the reason why My Mother could CARE. LESS. About any of My Writing or Drawing abilities. Because she was taught AND SAW FOR HERSELF....

It just gets you DRIVEN INSANE and then NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. And that is why when shit happened to me in high school and EVEN NOW.
Nahhhhhhhhhhhh, muthafucka.
THIS IS YOURS. I AM NOT STANDING HERE HOLDING ON TO EXTRACURRICULAR CRAP! THAT I DID NOT DO NOR ASK FOR! I have NO PROBLEMS with TAKING WHATEVER PUNISHMENTS I DESERVE FOR MY OWN FUCK-UP/S!

But I'm NOT HOLDING an L because somebody else said HOLD THIS FOR ME FOR NO REASON. Fuck outta here, TAKE THIS L RIGHT BACK AND AN EXTRA ONE FOR TRYING TO HAND ME ONE!