Back from the SUPERMARKET! Creativity and a Clear Conscience....

GOOD EVENING FROM PREPARING FOR THE WORST IN PHILADELPHIA!]

Well, my foot held up.
^_^
It's shit like that that contributes to the stereotype that we as Black People have a higher tolerance for pain. I've always found it funny whenever White doctors are going over my medical history versus Black doctors. The Black doctors always ask the questions of;
1) Did you have insurance when all these medical ailments were piling up?
2) Your job, how understanding were they regarding your ailments and would you have been FIRED if you'd have called out too many time.

That has been something CONSISTENT that has ABSOLUTELY differed between the Black doctors I've had versus the White doctors. The Black doctors were also NOT CONCERNED ABOUT what the INSURANCE PEOPLE WOULD OR WOULD NOT ACCEPT. They were concerned with ME AND ME ALONE. When I needed CAT-scans done, I wasn't given the run-around and sure enough I didn't have anything wrong with my brain, but?! The meds I had to take and the fact that the migranes made it impossible for me to do ANYTHING.

I literally had to be put to sleep for a month. I did NOTHING. But sleep. And it was medically induced. And I am EXTREMELY GRATEFUL that I had a Black doctor during this time. She didn't play games and she wasn't worried about maybe this or that isn't necessary. She took me and my ailments seriously. Mind you!? I'm still waiting on the call back to get the MRI's done on my fuckin knees. The White doctor AND HIS STAFF were utterly perplexed on how the fuck my knees were cracking and reacting like I have arthritis while all x-rays were NEGATIVE.

Then while they were listening to my knees make all that racket, they kept looking at me and finally said "Can't you... hear that...?" and I told them "No. Because I have to worry about getting back to the plantation-station. I have bigger issues to worry about and I have all these other ailments too, so no. I've either psychologically tuned it out or I'm simply so accustomed to it that it's just background noise."
Darryl from one of my old jobs said about my ability to keep going forward  regardless of whatever "You would have made a great soldier. I find it hard to believe you never served. You're like a drill sergeant." and Darryl was of course from the army himself. Bottom line is that nobody is going to take better care of you than your own. And when Your Own aren't taking good care of you then you need to tune them the fuck up and get their asses in line so they understand that they're fuckin up!

To find people in this world who will ride with you is some serious shit that has simply been demeaned to the point of pointlessness. And you have people now who will claim that you should just LET PEOPLE WALK OUT OF YOUR LIFE, as if you don't have a rational enough mind to know why the person has chosen to do this. And mind you, as I'm typing this I'm thinking of a number of things at one time so BEAR WITH ME, cuz I'm sure you can see tracks have become a little muddled and messed up with what I'm typing about. It's because my train of thought has switched gears and I can't keep up with it in typing this. Pfft, and people keep telling me that I type fast enough, when clearly I don't.

Bottom line is THIS. Keeping the people in your life and your race-n-place IN ORDER, is what allows THEM TO DO BETTER AND TREAT YOU BETTER WHERE IN TURN YOU CAN ALWAYS BE SELFLESS IN GIVING TO THEM BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IF THEY'LL UP AND ABANDON YOU OR TURN TRAITOR ON YOU. That's the best way I can sum it up FOR THE MOMENT.

Coming back around?
It was interesting because when I left out it was still daylight AND THE MOON WAS OUT. And it is a FULL-MOON, too. So that was something I noticed and said to myself, lemme get in here and get out. So I kept it short and sweet. The oven downstairs has been preheating and so it should be ready. Lemme put the rest of these groceries away in this room and then get my MEAL ON! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

And in case you're reading this Stacey. As you can see, I can post and blog and write and type and WHATEVER I WISH! Because my source of inspiration HAS ALWAYS BEEN SELF-CONTAINED. You on the other hand? I was always YOUR SOURCE OF INSPIRATION. And now that I no longer DIRECTLY INTERACT WITH YOU that well-spring has run dry. I type this FOR THE RECORD TO PROVE A POINT. A SOULMATE will CONSTANTLY FEED YOUR CREATIVITY. So now, how's that whole thing going with Baby Dave Evans again, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! And yes, you reader, yes. I laugh. Yes. I type what I just typed. Because I hate when LIARS, IDIOTS AND ASSHOLES OF ANY KIND TRY TO TALK TO ME LIKE THEY FUCKIN KNOW SOMETHING! When if they knew what the fuck they were saying and doing then fuck did you approach me for then. Go DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND GET THE SHIT DONE! Stop bein a LITTLE BITCH! Soulmate? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH! Dick for the week maybe, MAYBE. But don't fuckin mock me or my beliefs when you don't fuckin have any.

I need more HOURS IN THE DAY to get what I need to get done. I don't fuckin NEED a soulmate to INSPIRE ME TO BE CREATIVE. BECAUSE I SIMPLY AM! Whether it's shitty, perverted pedestrian OR WHATEVER! It still is something I was BORN WITH and DO NOT NEED OTHERS TO HELP ME TAP INTO IT. I've experienced what it means to have encountered My Soulmate and AT NO TIME was I worried about ANYTHING ELSE OR WHATEVER ELSE THAT WAS WRONG IN THE WORLD OR PREVIOUSLY. Because she MADE ME KNOW THAT I COULD DO ANYTHING! And this ultimately led to the conflict between our respectively SHITTY-ASS PARENTS and their overdrive to SPLIT US UP! This is one reason why we as Black People DON'T HAVE SHIT. We have become PISS-POOR PARENTS. Petty and jealous of when Our Own Children SOLVE SITUATIONS THAT THEY COULD NOT. My own mother has admitted this to me. That her intentional spiteful attacks against me have come out of the fact that NO. I don't NEED to find 1000% PROOF that so-n-so is PUTTING  A WRENCH IN WHAT I AM DOING. But I also DO NOT OVER-RELY ON SENSING THINGS AND THINKING THAT someone is fuckin around behind my back, no. It has to be a CORRECT MIX of FACTS AND INTUITION, with ENOUGH PROOF TO MAKE A SOLID DECISION ON WHAT TO DO NEXT.

Now? This shit MAY BE all over the place TO SOME OF YOU. It may not. Bottom line is YOU HAVE TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T YES-MEN AND YES-WOMEN. And you have to have AT LEAST 1 PERSON WHO YOU KNOW WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU WANT THEM TO OR NOT. These are people YOU CAN BUILD WITH and will RIDE WITH YOU TILL YOU GET PUT IN THE GROUND! You don't FIND OR HAVE people like this in your life by constantly lying to yourself and others and then pretending like you don't know when reality kicks in that;
Damn...
I shouldn't have did x-y-z.
Lying and delusions can even interfere IN YOUR CREATIVE ABILITY. Then you sprinkle ENABLERS AND BULLSHITTERS ON TOP OF THAT AND THEN YOU GOT NO SHOT AT CREATING ANYTHING OF ANY WORTH! Because after awhile...?

You can't lie to yourself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And I have TYPED ALL OF THIS BECAUSE WHEN I SIT DOWN WITH MY SON I WILL BE ABLE TO SHOW HIM THIS POST AND DECODE IT TO HIM IN DETAIL! So he understands that HIS BIGGEST ENEMY WILL ALWAYS BE HIMSELF. And the FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. From that!? Regardless of what MORAL CHARACTER YOU HAVE, then? You will always be able to TAP INTO YOUR GOD GIVEN POTENTIAL AND TALENTS. But!? When you bullshit yourself all day and then have NO HONEST ABLE-MINDED PEOPLE AROUND YOU!? The delusions and the lies pile up and then they sit IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS-MIND. Where you begin to lose the ability to access your potential and god-given abilities, because you are actually CONFLICTED INTERNALLY, mentally.
And here is an example of what I mean;

And in typical conflicting-fashion.
I have to thank My Mother for dragging me to see Avery Brooks one-man play about Paul Robeson when I was a child where HE INSPIRED ME. To become the creator that I am. And? I actually enjoyed the play.
"The Year we TOOK BACK WHAT WAS OURS...."