Ohhhhhhhhhh-kay So I was Right, It wasn't an accident She JUMPED ON PURPOSE....

Well, I tried to call it in a neutral tone regarding the woman who died this morning, but I suspected she actually jumped in front of the subway and it is now being reported that she DID JUMP. It wasn't due to lack of attentiveness on her part, no. She DECIDED to kill herself by jumping in front of the subway.
O_O
Wow.

Look?
You've read the shit I've been through up on here.
But even when I have THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF OR EVEN SAID IT?
-_-
It always comes back to "Really? Is THIS how I want to be remembered? Nah. I don't." and that has always been the end of that. Especially when I sit down and go over what I KNOW versus what I DON'T KNOW and the fact that I have LAID EVERYTHING OUT AND EVERYTHING IS FOLLOWING WHAT I HAVE ANTICIPATED.

I've been in some bad situations before where the thought of suicide has crossed my mind before. But it has always been countered with the question of WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT KILLING MYSELF?
When you TRAIN YOURSELF, MENTALLY?
Mental DISCIPLINE IS TOTALLY UNDERRATED.
It can LITERALLY SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF.

But as usual we don't live in a world where DISCIPLINE AND PREACHING AND PUSHING DISCIPLINE, are profitable. Never mind when the mainstay system running right now NEEDS A LACK OF DISCIPLINE ALL THE WAY AROUND FOR IT TO KEEP WORKING AND EXISTING, so!?

You have to SELF-REACH FOR THAT. You have to SELF-TEACH FOR THAT.
Ironically my barber JUST THIS SATURDAY PAST admitted to me that HE WOULD HAVE KILLED HIMSELF AFTER KILLING A LOT OF PEOPLE, he would have had to go through all that I've gone through over the last 10 years. Even I DIDN'T KNOW HE'D BEEN MY BARBER FOR THAT LONG!

And he ADMITTED TO ME "You have some wonderful foresight, My Brother. Because everything is going EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAID, right down to Your Ex-Wife DISMISSING ALL THAT CHILD SUPPORT!? I can see why these women wanna HURT YOU when you say it's over BECAUSE YOU HONESTLY GET TO KNOW THEM! So if they're not up to snuff!? They can't NOT KNOW THAT 'damn, I can't fuckin read him or keep up! I know he gone cheat-n-shit!' AND MEANWHILE YOU LOOKIN LIKE 'no'." and mind you he brought up the fact that I've been COMPLETELY CANDID WITH HIM AND THE REST OF THE BARBERSHOP WORKERS AND OWNER!

Yeah!
Because what happens IF I LIE?
Then it OPENS THE DOOR THAT ALL THE BULLSHIT SAID ABOUT ME WAS TRUE!
And that's the way THIS WORKS.
I have NO IDEA what was going on with this woman, but MORE LIKELY THAN NOT!? She was living, IRONICALLY, like Stacey.
Living A LIE, can really wipe a person out WITHOUT WARNING.
Because they can get up one day and simply NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE THAT THEIR WHOLE LIFE IS JUST ONE BIG SCAM. ONE BIG LIE.
And I think that is even more devastating when you're living a lie TO APPEASE SOMEONE ELSE. And usually with Asians it is all about LIVING THEIR PARENTS LIVES OR THE SUPPOSED CORRECT WAY and then, for some, the lie becomes unbearable. Either way?

This is why I said when I started this blog;
I'm not keeping other people's secrets anymore while they lie about me because I refuse to go along with their lies. A person has to KNOW THEMSELVES and know when they NEED TO VENT IN THE LEAST DESTRUCTIVE WAY towards themselves and others around them. But most importantly you have to know when you need to confront whatever is pushing you to think that ending YOUR OWN LIFE is going to solve anything. It never does.
Your Life ENDS.
And like it or not.
Fair or not.
Everyone else continues forward with Their Lives.
Except for You.
And whatever it was that drove you to kill yourself, never actually gets resolved.
So it's a lose lose situation all the way around....