STAY ON TARGET!

GOOD MORNING FROM PHILADELPHIA!

Where I wrote another 4 pages yesterday....

Roll. 

Intro....

This week I have written 4 pages a day and I've been able to do it because I don't have BULLSHIT going on with My Daytime Employment. Looking back on it as I type this now I realize that while I've been able to "do some artwork", I haven't been able to get back into actually WRITING for the characters I am DRAWING.
>_<
While waiting for the Orange Line yesterday to head in to work I saw a new billboard for some Whitewoman author named Sylvia Day. Turns out she's Japanese American, I certainly couldn't tell by the billboard because she looked White as the day is long, either way? I was standing there looking at this billboard and it irked me. And it irked me because I realized that I've lost a lot of time being involved with too much foolishness and fuck-up's in my decision-making.

Then?
I was like "Eh, that was then and this is now." and it felt good to be able to SEE that my decision to DISCONNECT MYSELF from anyone who wasn't bringing something useful TO MY TABLE. And note I am not mincing words with what I type. Standing there on the platform yesterday morning I felt GREAT about honestly thinking to myself that ANYONE who DOES NOT BRING SOMETHING OF WORTH TO MY TABLE?

Doesn't fuckin belong SITTING AT IT.
I DON'T want to KNOW YOU.
I DON'T want to HEAR YOUR SOB STORY.
I WILL NOT give you TIME TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.
You either HAVE IT or YOU DON'T.

And I realized that the reason why I was staring at this "Sylvia Day" woman, was because I ALLOWED MYSELF TO GO OFF-TRACK. And now that I am BACK ON TRACK AGAIN? Right now as I type, my son's portrait is looking down on me. I can DEAL WITH him not being here and me not being THERE, because I AM PRODUCING TANGIBLE RESULTS. I don't have ANYONE AROUND ME ANYMORE who talks about how UNSTABLE THEY ARE OR THEIR LIVES ARE WITH NO INTENTIONS OF STABILIZING EITHER ONE AND THEN EXPECTING ME TO DO IT FOR THEM.

And then me ACTUALLY DOING IT.
Ironically My Surrogate Son said it best when he said "You give TOO MUCH of yourself in your relationships and it throws you off course with your work when it is the wrong woman. When you were with Melissa in college!? You wrote a whole book ON A WHIM in less than 30 DAYS! Because she was always reading what you wrote each day and then critiquing what you wrote and then letting you know what she felt about it on top of that! THAT is the kind of woman you have to find again. You have to stop with the giving all women a chance, because the wrong woman disrupts too much in your life."

And I'd have to say he was right.
I've been approached by a number of women over the last 9 months and even been attracted to others, but? The reality is that I need to stay on target and finish what I started and focus SOLELY ON THAT.

Otherwise?

Yeah, see, THAT'S BAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!