Just finished checking My Blood Pressure. I've got a doctor's appointment set up for March 1st, because I'm not gonna keep risking My Life because of everything going on in My Life IN A POSITIVE WAY AND EVEN THE ANNOYING NEGATIVES, like the fact that of Course, My Son's 16th birthday just passed and I wasn't there for it.
It doesn't matter how many times I try not to do it, it happens regardless, which is how in the world did I ALLOW this to happen. It is at this point that I spend countless hours retracing My Steps, My Decisions, PRIOR TO MY SON BEING BORN.
Notice I did not say PRIOR TO MY SON AND I BEING SEPARATED.
Because by THAT POINT IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE.
So that drives My Blood Pressure Up-n-Down as it RIGHTFULLY SHOULD. And thank you to those readers who have pointed out when I have spoken to them that YES. This was My Point when I was with Stacey about telling Her to leave Her Kids IN A SAFE AND CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT WITH HER FAMILY AND EX-HUSBAND IN A HOUSE!
And get the fuck over here and help me FINISH UP!
-_-
Yes, I knew that she would REFUSE.
And Yes I knew that She would give TWO-FUCKS about how HER OWN CONSTANT BULLSHITTING TOWARDS ME WAS DISTRACTING ME AWAY FROM MY GOAL OF GETTING MY SON BACK.
Note, the caps.
Note the LACK of an exclamation point.
My Co-workers at work, have finally noted that "Man, you are able to get emotional about something but the reality is that YOU'RE ACTUALLY SPITTING FACTS! WHILE BEING EMOTIONAL! THAT SHIT IS WEIRD AS SHIT! And then WORSE!? When it comes time to DO SHIT!? It's... kinda creepy because you are DETACHED."
Yes, almost as if my so-called Emotional Outbursts are actually trial-n-error, PREPARATION, for the real thing later on. Again, I have not only taken classes and courses concerning such matters. But I've also actually HAD TO APPLY MYSELF PRIOR AT AN EARLY AGE! Which is what led me to take classes later on in the first place.
I've found it very interesting that people DON'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO WORK THROUGH THEIR EMOTIONS SO THAT THEY CAN CONTROL THEM AND THEMSELVES WHEN SITUATIONS CALL FOR IT.
Like anything else you can't get better at anything that you don't practice.
I Love Allen Iverson as an NBA Legend.
But the above video shows WHY I PRACTICE CONTROLLING MY EMOTIONS, by hammering them out and going over what I am feeling AND WHY, ALOUD.
Understand that PROPER TIME AND PLACE IS CRITICAL.
And there have been times when I have intentionally disregarded such things BECAUSE I SAW SOMETHING THAT I COULD CAPITALIZE ON AT THAT TIME AND DECIDED, to ignore time and place.
But the Reality is that emotion-control is an art that DOES REQUIRE ACTUAL PRACTICE. And as a Black Person, particularly a Blackman, it must be done!
NOT!?
It'd be nice to KINDA SORTA MAYBE know how to control One's Emotions, NO!
It MUST BE DONE.
Because everybody and their grandma tries to INTENTIONALLY TOY WITH OUR EMOTIONS AND BAIT AND CON US INTO BAD SITUATIONS. So they can then USE THEM AGAINST US in some way shape and form.
When Allen says how can practicing with His Teammates make them better?
That's like saying how can military training-drills make soldiers better.
That's like saying how can fire-drills make people better on how to handle a fire.
I can literally keep typing for some time where it exposes the fact that Allen was actually quite fuckin fed-up with the bullshit he was CONSTANTLY GETTING AND HAS GOTTEN FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE.
And so.
He lashed out with not nary a thought of what He was REALLY SAYING AND DOING.
I would not BE WHERE I AM NOW, had I have NOT BEEN WHO I AM.
Most Blackmen simply quit because the combination of Ridiculous Odds Against Them, Lack of Support, Lack of INFRASTRUCTURE, and then Opportunist!
Tends to drag them down EMOTIONALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
So they eventually fold and run away.
I have however always understood that of the 36-stratagems the 36th is often best when confronted by an UNEXPECTED ATTACK/SITUATION THAT YOU CANNOT GET CONTROL OF AND OVER!
If all else fails, retreat
- If it becomes obvious that your current course of action will lead to defeat, then retreat and regroup. When your side is losing, there are only three choices remaining: surrender, compromise, or escape. Surrender is complete defeat, compromise is half defeat, but escape is not defeat. As long as you are not defeated, you still have a chance. This is the most famous of the stratagems, immortalized in the form of a Chinese idiom: "Of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, fleeing is best"
But the OBJECTIVE IS TO RETREAT AND REGROUP!
NOT TO RUNAWAY AND KEEP RUNNING AWAY FOR THE SAKE OF RUNNING AWAY DUE TO COWARDICE!
And that has become A MASSIVE PROBLEM AMONG US.
One that I intend to solve.
Cowards are of NO USE to Any Group of People or a Place, especially when said People &/or Place is under duress and/or hard times. Because it is the cowards who ultimately become YOUR OPPORTUNIST!
You see the Very Nature of a Coon, is WRAPPED IN COWARDICE.
An Opportunist, has to be observed closely to see if they are either shrewd and cunning, or just plain cowardly and treacherous.
Annnnnnnnnd, looks like I have a visitor....
Now...!?
I just finished listening to some of the latest Youtubes by Lashid4u, Mr. Superboy223, those two are feuding, again. Yvette Carnell. Cynthia G, Professor Blacktruth and TBA/Jason Black. And I also just finished having a visit to My Room by My Mother.
I showed her My Artwork including the latest pieces siting drawn and partially inked on My Bed. She was shocked to see EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TYPING TO ALL OF YOU. From This Blogsite to Williams Works I just finished showing her everything and she was extremely surprised and I explained to her that I have NOT MOVED because I HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT THIS TIME! This Room and My Situation, ARE GOING TO BE THE LAST TIME I AM IN SUCH A SPACE AND PLACE EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE OR THAT OF MY SON.
I have ALL THE TOOLS to GET IT DONE!
And whether some believe it is too slow or taking too long is irrelevant to me.
What matters is that this MUST BE DONE RIGHT!
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