Cuz yeah, I got a 16-Hour Shift coming up tonight.
So what I NEED TO DO NOW is head up to the grocery store and pick up some stuff cuz I'm gonna literally WORK STRAIGHT THROUGH and once I leave out TONIGHT!?
I won't be BACK till 3pm EST Sunday.
^_^
Somebody had asked Me, or, SAID TO ME "How was u gone make shit work with Stacey when You were living in an apartment and no longer had ANY INCOME COMING IN!? She has 2-kids how was all that supposed to have worked!?"
And I told Him as the Blackwomen around us SHOOK THEIR HEADS AT HIM, but I told Him "I HAD THE MEANS to start working IMMEDIATELY AFTER I got put on the Job Progress Program for Delaware County in regards to My Former Surrogate Son, Dan. But DAN DID NOT WANT TO HIRE ME BECAUSE HE KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NEXT. I? AM NOT HIM. I GAVE HIM THE TOOLS AND PLOTTED IT OUT SO THAT HE COULD HAVE OWNED THAT ENTIRE FAMILY-CHAIN HAD HE DID WHAT I TOLD HIM BEFORE CERTAIN EVENTS EVEN HAPPENED! He INTENTIONALLY TANKED the Opportunity OUT OF PETTY SPITE, to try to convince Me and Himself that He isn't WHO HE ACTUALLY IS. Fine. WHATEVER! But I am NOT HIM. I need something and/or want something, I'M GOING AFTER IT!"
Not so much.
So I just explained the fact that "Now? Me working there, I'M THERE TO WORK. And THAT'S IT. Finding A JOB IS NOT MY PROBLEM. It is FINANCING MY OWN BUSINESS-AMBITIONS THAT IS. But going to work where Dan was? NO PROBLEM! Dan simply didn't want Me there and He DID NOT WANT ME TO REGAIN MY FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AGAIN."
So then one of the women told Him "How many times has Shawn missed work Here?"
And the guy realized and then said BEFORE THE OTHER WOMEN COULD START TEARING HIM APART "Oh oh oh U RIGHT U RIGHT! Ok-ok, MY BAD! So wait, WHY DIDN'T DAN HIRE YOU!?"
And that was when Chris was like "Cuz the muthafucka knew He let Shawn IN. Yo, He AIN'T BEEN DOIN, WHUT THE FUCK HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DOIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Far as Dan. Dan was on SOME OTHER SHIT. He was doin the whole I'ma prove I'm BETTER THAN SHAWN SHIT! This was part of the shit Shawn was CONSTANTLY tellin Stacey about but NOT REALLY TRYING TO SHIT ON DAN BUT SO MUCH. The Reality is Dan was SHADY-AS-SHIT. For Real, His whole thing was I gotta REPAY SHAWN. But He's passin it off as I'M HERE TO SUPPORT SHAWN, two TOTALLY DIFFERENT FUCKIN ANIMALS! Niggas will miss that shit, but Shawn ain't no fuckin Nigga. So of course HE UNDERSTOOD IT! Now, REMEMBER. Above ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THIS SHIT, all this shit We talkin now, REMEMBER! Shawn's REAL MAIN PRIORITY IS HIS SON AND THE BATTLE GOING ON UNSEEN WITH HIS EX-WIFE. This bitch out in the world talkin HER SHIT! For Dan and even Stacey, SEE DAN!? He's MET AND KNOWS Shawn's Ex-Wife, let's be honest THAT NIGGA SCARED OF HER ASS. And FOR GOOD REASON CUZ THAT BITCH IS CRAZY! Stacey? Stacey and you ladies know, ya'll know. Some OTHER BITCH? Come up and gettin with the Man YOU HONESTLY WANNA BE WITH?" and the women started laughin and noddin but shit wasn't fuckin funny as He reminded dude "This bitch then told the Court, told the Police, OH SHAWN BEAT ME THE FUCK UP AND ALL THIS OTHER SHIT!?!? Now she done LOST THE FUCKIN HOUSE and SHIT! All the shit THAT SHAWN SET UP AND CREATED AND ALL OF THAT, that shit IS GONE! All SHE GOT is His Son and He's a muthafuckin HOSTAGE! Now some OTHER BITCH is on the scene, SOME OTHER WOMAN is on the scene after all the bullshit she pulled to isolate His Ass!? Ya'll know how ya'll are when ya'll wanna FORCE SHIT WITH A MAN!"
Lemme make.
One thing crystal.
Fuckin.
Clear.
Abusive women?
Are treated as a joke.
They're treated as if They are Unicorns who simply don't exist.
But Dan knew.
And still knows.
Even He said when ALL OF THIS STARTED "If you force the issue right now...? While Your Son is still a baby...? She'll kill Him. She will kill Him. And Herself. Just to spite You."
This is PART OF THE REASON WHY I do NOT like Your Parents Stacey.
Because Noni BECAME the monster that she IS.
Because HER PARENTS.
FAILED HER TOO.
This bizarre BELIEF.
That Parenting is some EASY THING and that EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS.
Is a sick joke.
Add to the sick joke the fucked up and shitty-lazy way that females are raised.
And the sick joke then becomes psychotic.
Standing around talking about how Your Gonna do this that and a third to whomever dates Your Daughter.
Instead of DOING THIS THAT AND A THIRD IN RAISING HER TO HANDLE HERSELF.
Angers Me.
Because instead of EMPOWERING HER.
It's about EMPOWERING OURSELVES AS MEN.
And for the record THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I HAVE NOT HONESTLY DONE A FUCKIN THING TO MAKE SHIT RIGHT WITH YOU, Stacey.
You figure it out.
You DEAL WITH whatever DECISIONS YOU DECIDE TO MAKE.
HOWEVER YOU DECIDE TO MAKE THEM.
Because I remember THE FEAR IN YOUR VOICE.
ON YOUR FACE.
When You realized that NONI?
Is NOT YOU.
She had ZERO QUALMS about PHYSICALLY ATTACKING ME.
The same way she ATTACKED OTHER MEN.
When They angered Her and she saw that BASED ON THE SITUATION AND CIRCUMSTANCES...?
She could be physically violent and nobody would question HER MEANS AND METHODS.
And no reader, I'm not fuckin joking or exaggerating.
It is one of the reasons why I NEVER taught Her any kind of martial arts.
ANY.
EVER.
Because I already knew she'd IMMEDIATELY USE IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
When We were in domestic court, FINALLY.
All throughout the last years of My Relationship with Stacey.
Even the Whitewoman Judge began to question Her, but as usual she never would simply say "You know what bitch I think SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU." but she would always hint the Fact that BECAUSE OF HER POSITION and YEARS IN COURT.
Noni's behavior...?
Did NOT MAKE SENSE.
She NEVER ONE TIME SAID "Shawn don't visit His Son."
And once again, THE JUDGE HINTED AT THAT SHIT.
She HINTED it.
But would NOT SAY IT STRAIGHT OUT.
And when Noni closed the child support case, everybody had OFF THE RECORD shit to say.
But nothing OF ANY COURT-USE for Me.
But they ALL MADE IT CLEAR.
That whatever HAPPENS TO NONI, from Here on Out...?
Don't come back here bitch.
They knew that something was wrong with Her.
And the Reality is, there is something wrong.
She never sought ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP in dealing with all THE SHIT!
That went on in Her Household.
So LEMME SCHOOL SOME OF YOU with the Fact that FOR ME?
When I attended Lincoln University I WAS ABLE TO SIT DOWN WITH PEOPLE LIKE PROFESSOR FAVOR AND DOCTOR DUNCAN.
And UNPACK ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT'D BEEN DONE TO ME AND GONE ON IN MY LIFE.
And that is because I MADE IT MY PRIORITY TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I'D BEEN THROUGH WAS HORRIBLE.
It wasn't COOL.
It wasn't SOME COMING OF AGE STORY.
It was HORRIBLE.
And I had to MAKE DECISIONS.
THAT NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO MAKE.
But a BIG REASON WHY I DID THAT is because SOCIETY PUSHES MALES TO BE ACCOUNTABLE AND TO TAKE CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES AND THEIR ISSUES!
But with Females...?
No.
While Noni and I were married I had NO PROBLEMS going to see a psychologist.
Noni?
Wanted NO PARTS OF IT.
And that's because SHE WANTED ME TO BE THE SOLE EVERYTHING.
And I made it clear THAT IS UNHEALTHY AND UNWISE.
Understand I type this with COMPLETE CLARITY AND A NEED TO TYPE TO YOU THAT I AM NO FUCKIN SAINT.
But I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS.
So when I told Her We now have the means to pay for the things that We NEED.
Psychological-counseling?
She REFUSED.
She wanted NO PARTS OF IT.
I have found that society TEACHES WOMEN TO LIE TO THEMSELVES AND LIE TO OTHERS TILL THE LIES BECOME A PERMANENT PART OF WHO THEY ARE NOW PRETENDING TO BE.
On a 24/7 BASIS.
Good Luck with that.
You'll need it.
When I made it clear that I wasn't going to put up with the foolishness anymore, well..?It landed Me here.
And truth be told, it is WHAT I DESERVE FOR RIDING FOR SO LONG WITH HER.
I got EXACTLY.
WHAT I DESERVE.
I had PLENTY of opportunities to leave, to get out, to move on.
And I DIDN'T.
So now I have to CLEAN UP THE MESS I MADE.
That's the Way it works.
So lemme get back to work....
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