Return of the King...!

Good Afternoon from Philadelphia!

Well? I was just reminded again of why America is a crapfest now when it comes to employment. Here in the United States most companies have phased out their human resources departments in favor of online employment sites of their own or online job sites. Over the last 3-years straight I have been looking for work and these online employment sites are a pain in the ass. I just got a notice that a job opportunity was open. I go and fill out the online app-reply and then the damn thing says the job offer is closed because it has been filled already. Meanwhile? I LITERALLY JUST GOT THE NOTICE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I am constantly being reminded that I should not have taken my eye off of my career and pursued my relationship to the detriment of all else. I've been checking out the costs for a printing bundle so I can make my own t-shirt designs and print! The money I spent on phone cards and phone bills from my relationship would have allowed me to buy AT LEAST two of these bundles of equipment where I can scan my drawings into them. Then place a t-shirt or shirt onto the presses and then they can SCREEN MY DRAWINGS ONTO THE SHIRT!!!!!
-_-
I could have been working all these years and investing in my business right from this apartment.
^_^!!!!!
But now that I know this, it's all about GETTING IT DONE! I was reading up on Diamond Dallas Paige and how he created his DDP-Yoga System and why and he simply states over-&-over "How badly do you want it? There is NO WAY AROUND DOING THE WORK. You gotta write out what your plan is, INK IT! PUT IT UP SO YOU CAN SEE IT! THEN GO DO IT! It all comes down to how BADLY do you want it."

Time is a precious thing and it is more precious than Money, but not as precious as People. For the last year-&-a-half I have been digging through literal boxes and crates and totes of stuff! Where I have created enough work where the availability and access to smaller more personalized machinery will allow a productive person to achieve their goals of self-employment and actualization as long as they ARE SERIOUS ABOUT IT AND HAS SOME REAL TALENT AND ABILITY. The last part is DECISION-MAKING, and that is where I have been lacking, repeatedly. I will say this much, my former fiancee's side-piece-chick-dude Dave, became a critical marker in helping me make my decisions in regards to her. This "guy" ALWAYS MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE WOULD NEVER AND DOES NEVER PUT HER FIRST BEFORE HIS CAREER OR AMBITIONS, EVER. Meanwhile my dumb do-gooder-ass was constantly putting her first and then being upset when she didn't understand or care about what I was doing, why, etc-etc! The reality is that IT WAS NOT FOR HER TO CARE BECAUSE THESE WERE MY AMBITIONS, NOT HERS. Any lack of compliance on her part should have been met with me moving on and not allowing my emotions to interfere with the opportunity to create my own path, something that IS CRITICAL for all Black People everywhere and ESPECIALLY as a Blackman living in the United States.

One of the primary reasons why we as Black Americans are having problems is because we no longer have our own communities complete with infrastructures under our control. This is another reason why my dumb-ass hasn't been able to find a job in the last 3-years, restraining order on me or not. However? Should I be shocked or surprised, as a Blackman in general, and a Blackman living in America IN PARTICULAR, that I am seeking employment from White Americans and mysteriously I can't get hired or haven't been hired? 

For starters? 

The history of the relationship between My People and Whites over the last 500-years alone has been all about their conquest and exploitation of My People for Their Betterment. This FACT, is not to be disregarded and should not be overlooked. For me to seek gainful employment or to put my talents to use for Whites is counterproductive to myself and to My People as a whole, because it continues the already massive divide that Whites created when they declared a Secret War on us to make up for the fact that they'd plundered their own sub-continent dry with their wars back-&-forth with one another and also over the fact that certain times in Our History groups of Blacks have successfully marched into the sub-continent of Europe and conquered it! Something they work overtime to keep hidden from most Black People. It explains their intense hatred of us at times and it is because at one point we used to be able to do as we pleased towards them for better or for worse. I'd be pissed to if someone could build castles on my land while I lived in caves and they had running water and bathrooms while my dead were buried above earth and I slept next to them. So I get that and respect that and UNDERSTAND THAT. 

I should not be, as a Black Person, shocked that Whites have a certain way they want me to act when I am ASKING THEM FOR A JOB IN THEIR COMPANIES, THEIR BUSINESSES, THAT THEY OWN. How my own people have lost their way over a basic human understanding that we all experienced as baby and children and kids and teens, till we become and became adults, is actually embarrassing and speaks to how delusional and desperate too many of us have become, because. As a baby our parents give us our own cribs. We have our own bottles. Our own teething rings. Our own pacifiers. As children they buy us our own toys and teddy-bears. We get our first big-wheels and toys and they are OUR. TOYS. We share them with our new found friends, but we EXPECT THEM TO GIVE THEM BACK BECAUSE IT IS OURS. We expect them NOT TO BREAK THEM UP BECAUSE THEY ARE OURS, NOT THEIRS TO BREAK UP. As we continue to grow up our own parents are actually giving us our own silent lessons about OWNERSHIP, but most don't understand that. As kids we get our first action figures or dolls, play-sets and dollhouses, our parents give us these things and they are ours. We break it, then we lose that toy. We lose that action figure that doll that easy-bake set. Then as teens? Now we start getting the hot-shit, but now most parents begin to talk of responsibility. Or EARNING, OUR TOYS. If we're really gifted in the manner of WANTING OUR OWN THINGS then we APPLY OURSELVES TO GET THEM. We BARTER AND HAGGLE with our parents, I'll do chores for the neighbors, make a quick buck. Mow-lawns. We begin to EXPERIENCE what life COULD BE LIKE if we maintain our youthful need TO BE INDEPENDENT, TO NOT NEED MOM AND DAD TO BUY US THIS OR TELL US THIS OR THAT.

We want to earn the right to stay out late, stay up late. And when you're a right-minded child or teen, you tell your parents "I wanna be able to do such-&-such." and they tell you what you need to do to be able to EARN THAT RIGHT, THAT PRIVILEGE, if they are even remotely a good parent or parents. They tell you how you can earn that or they tell you why you can't do that RIGHT NOW. Then, for those of us who HONESTLY WANT THEIR INDEPENDENCE to be able to control their own lives...? We wait for that day like they said of when we can show them that we can be TRUSTED TO BE RESPONSIBLE. It is no different than the tests we take in school, except for this is a test in the school of our lives, in life itself in all honesty. It is a building block that good parents and family will watch-on quietly from the sidelines knowing that this is THEIR FIRST CHANCE to see how good of a parent or parents they've been and just what kind of potential you have and how your life may or may not go forward. Some of us pass, some of us fail, some never try and some quit before we even get the chance to take this first test. Bottom line?

I have all the tools I need to be able to make a living for myself. And now the technology, the means exists, at the basic level of general access, where I don't need to ask anyone to GIVE ME A JOB. Especially Whites. When I can go on ahead and earn a living with the God-given talent that I have, We as Black People, myself especially, have become too dependent on asking or expecting from others things that we need to have the confidence to walk out the door again and do ourselves, EVEN IF WE FAIL. Because even in failure, you learn what does and doesn't work. As we are growing up, we are taught TO OWN WHAT WE HAVE. In something as simple as the toys that we got and the privileges that we may or may not have earned from our parents. But when we go to move into the working world, we go from being children of our parents where we have seen them provide for us and then expect us to VALUE WHAT THEY'VE PROVIDED. Where we then WILLINGLY SEEK THE OPPORTUNITY TO EARN THINGS ON OUR OWN. But ironically once we become adults, we VOLUNTARILY GIVE UP OUR AUTONOMY TO WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. When we have actually been shown all along that OWNING THINGS FOR YOURSELF, is far more rewarding than being grateful with whatever someone DECIDES TO HAND TO YOU BASED ON WHAT THEY THINK YOU DESERVE.

I deserve my financial autonomy. And I will have it back, because I have worked for myself before. The fact that I did not keep pushing and striving and driving down the self-sufficient speed-lane was a mistake on my part. And now I get the chance to correct it. If you've read this far, then I suggest you ask yourself what would happen to you if you had to sustain yourself based purely on whatever God-given talents you have. Would you starve to death? Would you have to beg and borrow money? Would you have to rob and steal, because you either don't have or don't know what God-given talents you have. If you are Black and are reading this, the first easy-step you can make is building your own business based off of something you are either good at or enjoy. When you honestly enjoy something, then you are willing to learn more about it to better your craft because you honestly enjoy it. When you are good at something, then practice honestly does make perfect, or at least!? As close to perfect as you can get. When you are good at something, that is your God-Given Talent. Cultivate it. Hone it. And then USE IT. Do not make the mistakes that I made and lose valuable, irreplaceable, TIME. Get out here into this world and do what you need to do to make a LEGITIMATE WAY FOR YOURSELF. Where no one can take that away from you. I know I am.