Time to Get Funky and RAW!

Stomp mud holes in posses like WHO!?
LIKE GIGANTORRRRRR!
-Parrish Smith of EPMD-

Good morning from Philadelphia!

EPMD has always been one of my favorite hip-hop groups. Each and every album of theirs has always been about them handling their business and talking about how they went about it. What's going on around them at the time, what's going on in the world at that time and some of the typical rhyme droppin-line-droppin that's common for a hardcore hip-hop group. I have every one of their albums except for their very last one, because their music is relatable to me. They make it clear that if you honestly are trying to get anywhere in life you really aren't gonna have time to play around with people who aren't serious about whatever is going on either in the world or what you have stated you want or need to get accomplished.

This blog has only come into existence now solely because I've finally reached a point where NOW, I am not only SERIOUS about the business of my writing. But I have HONESTLY MADE REAL IN ROADS TO ACCOMPLISH MY OBJECTIVES. As I'm typing I'm thinking of that scumbag who called me the other day and bitched up once I made it clear to remind him OF WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE ACTUALLY REPRESENTS, while he kept trying to say "I'm a man. I handle my business like a man."

For any other Black American reading this in particular, ESPECIALLY ANOTHER BLACK AMERICAN MAN, you know, WE ALL KNOW, anytime another Black American Man says the word "I'm a man" more than three times while he's supposedly "handling his business"? THAT NIGGER IS FULL OF SHIT! Mind you!? When ANYONE constantly says "I'm all about business" over-&-fuckin-over when they're talking to you they're letting you know they're a fuckin CON-ARTIST. And that fuckin piece-a-shit nigger kept talking with that wanna-be smooth sounding voice "I'm about business. We men, Shawn. We men. Cause I'm just callin about business, man. You know, I ain't gone go back-&-forth with you." then the muthafucka promptly went back-&-forth with me. -_- Even now I'm like, yeah, this is her kind of fuckin do-nothing man all right. Whatever. That shit still shocks me though, quietly. How you gone call to "defend your woman", then when I make it clear that you are somebody I need to hurt just to regain some respect and show your piece-a-shit bitch to stop slandering me online, then it becomes "NAH-NAH-NAH! I'M JUST CALLIN ABOUT BUSINESS MAN, IT AIN'T PERSONAL, IT AIN'T PERSONAL! I'M JUST CALLIN BOUT BROKEN, THAT'S IT!"
-_-
"So you ain't callin ta fuckin take up for this bitch?"
"NAH-NAH-NAH! JUST BUSINESS SHAWN, JUST BUSINESS."
-_-
Wow. Pathetic. BUT-NOT-SURPRISING! You qualify as HER TYPE OF MAN! NOW GET OUTTA HERE YOU DAMN NIGGAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Ridiculous. Waste my fuckin time like that, then the muthafucka never handled any fuckin business anyway! "Shawn I'ma shoot'chu the attorney information. I'ma get that out 2-ya, okay!" -_- "Yeah whatever pretty-boy." then the muthafucka's phone cut! Where it SOUNDED LIKE his call dropped. I star-69 this nigger back and the fuckin operator tells me it's a fuckin SKYPE#. A SKYPE#? REALLY!? REALLY!? >_> u fuckin kiddin me? So this dude clearly doesn't want me having his fuckin number, meanwhile, when his ass called the machine took down his fuckin number, cowardly dumb-ass. It's like everything was showing me STRAIGHT TO MY FACE that fuckin around with this bitch was a major fuckin mistake and that's what I get! That's what I get for playing in the trash! Dude called back and then had the nerve to ASK ME for attorney information & their bar association #.

I'm like? "You didn't even send me any of the info you claimed you were gonna send" the whole fuckin thing was a sick fuckin PUSSIFIED, JOKE! Yet my DUMB-ASS! IS STILL TALKING TO THIS LOSER LIKE IT'S WORTH MY TIME. So I tell this pussy, this fuckin disgrace to all Blackmen everywhere "I don't have an attorney." then he fuckin goes "Awwwwwwww, Shawn man, I thought you was serious." MEANWHILE!? I'M LIKE, WHY THE FUCK!? WHERE THE FUCK?! DOES THIS BITCH KEEP FINDING SCUMBAG DUDES TO FUCK WITH! WHO THINK THEY'RE FUCKIN COOL WITH EVERY FUCKIN BODY THEY FUCKIN TALK TO!? And what I mean by that is this;

You know the smooth talking muthafucka's who INGRATIATE THEMSELVES ON YOU AND TALK LIKE THEY FUCKIN ALREADY KNOWN YOU FOR FUCKIN YEARS! WHEN YOU ONLY JUST FUCKIN MET'EM AND NOW YOU ALREADY FUCKIN DON'T FUCKIN LIKE'EM CUZ THEY'RE ACTIN LIKE THEY'VE BEEN KNOWING YOU FOR FIFTEEN-TWENTY FUCKIN YEARS! Just listening to this bitch-ass-nigger nigga NIGGAH! OR HOWEVER MUTHAFUCKA'S IS SAYIN THAT SHIT NOW! But just listening to this dude was pissin me the fuck off because I could tell that this is the muthafucka that'll try to fuck your fuckin wife or girlfriend the moment he thinks your fuckin back is turned! THERE IS NO WAY I'D FUCKIN TRUST THIS DUDE TO DO SHIT FOR ME! CUZ YOU CAN HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE THAT'LL FUCKIN FUCK YOU OVER AND ROB YOU FUCKIN BLIND! NO WONDER HIS FUCKIN WIFE OR WHATEVER DON'T FUCKIN TRUST HIS ASS! He ran his coon-train conductor ass right up off my phone after I told him "I don't need a fuckin attorney to find out basic information. You've provided nothing but a bunch of bullshit! You claim this bitch is published, where THROUGH WHAT PUBLISHING HOUSE? WHAT IS THE IBSN OF THE BOOK!? DO YOU REPRESENT HER!? FUCK ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME FOR NIGGER!"

This guy then hangs up.
And? For today's generational audience, the caps? The cursing? All fits. Today's generation trivializes too many serious situations and downplays it by calling them rants. Baby-mama-drama and a whole host of catchwords and word-phrases where it sets a tone that tries to convince people to lower their guard and not honestly pay attention to exactly what is going on and take it seriously. This guy calling me up, yo? Show me something, SOMETHING. That, as a MAN, I can say to myself "At least this guy has a fuckin sack and I can see why she was cheating with him." Instead all I am seeing is that this guy is just a piece of shit, liar. Who trolls around looking for easy-pussy and then playing games with the woman till she's all used up and then moves on. Make no mistake, that is my former fiancee's problem and her choice. But just like women do, we men do the same thing and I'm being honest with what I type here. I really wanted this man to show me SOMETHING. So this way I'm not left to look at the entirety of my nearly 5-years with that woman as nothing more than a sick twisted joke. A colossal waste of time. Case in point? I reach my deadline, publish my book, go on to become AT LEAST A DECENT WRITER, then she can say at some point or another "I hate that muthafucka and I hope he fuckin dies. But at least his Doom-&-Gloom ass got his fuckin life back in order and did what he said he was gonna do when he told me to wait. Guru of Life my ass."

Meanwhile? Someone is OUTSIDE LISTENING TO ARETHA FRANKLIN'S RESPECT! Ties right in. Ties right in. Now it's time for me to get into the guts of this morning's post, hang on to your hats ladies-&-gentlemen and keep your hands inside the car because this is gonna be a fuckin bumpy ride on the road of muthafuckin REALITY! When I talked with two of my sworn-brothers LAST NIGHT, fresh off the fuckin fields of serving in Afghanistan the first thing out of their mouths was "Yo? So lemme get this straight? This dude is actually the reason why you didn't marry this chick at the airport, ISN'T IT!?"

And I was like "Yeah, because I knew she was still towing this piece of crap around behind us." one of them then said to me "You fucked up anyway, brother. Because when you caught this chick the year before, yo? You should have ended that then and there." and I was like "Yeah, I should've." but my second sworn-brother was like "Fuck you mean, 'yeah I shoulda'? That's why your ex-wife fuckin got you all hemmed up and you lost all that fuckin time with your son. You fuckin too soft on these piece of shit bitches you been runnin with. You're the muthafucka with the real talent IN OUR FAMILY. But you got the fuckin hardest road to tow on because you constantly trying to give bitches who ain't shit, chances they're own family never give'em! We don't live in the fuckin 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's, brother. And you got a lotta fuckin fools like this dude she's fuckin with runnin game. Then this chick herself was runnin game. And then you already got that fuckin restraining order bullshit from your ex-wife hemming you up on your fuckin employment and you talkin about 'yeah I should've ended it when I caught this bitch red-handed'. You're not handling your fuckin business and you're playin around like you got time, money or ROOM to be playin around."

When he said that shit to me? All I could do was sit here and just soak that shit in because HE WAS KICKIN FACTS! NOT BULLSHIT. He wasn't saying shit to me to MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. He wasn't saying shit to me to say; everything was my former fiancee's fault, NO! He made it clear that the bullshit that went on a few days ago WAS MY FAULT BECAUSE I DIDN'T HANDLE MY BUSINESS A FEW YEARS BACK WHEN I CAUGHT MY WOMAN CHEATING ON ME. And you make sure you cut, copy, paste that too, because THIS IS WHY I KNOW WHAT FAMILY ACTUALLY IS, because family doesn't fuckin omit when I've caused my own fuckin problem and they make it clear just like he did last night;

Handle your business.

He told me up front "How much shit have we gone through? You've seen violent shit. Done violent shit. Why are you talking to a civvie like they're another soldier when you know they're not. You fucked up, brother. And you gave this woman and her creep-joint the impression that you're all talk and no action when you decided not to get rid of her when you caught her lying to you. You're in no position to play around with people who aren't seriously committed to you and whatever cause you're involved with. Your cause was to get MY GODSON BACK. And you stopped to fuck around with this woman who was already married in the first place. THAT'S #1. It doesn't matter nor does it count that you made it clear that you weren't gonna be like the side-piece-chick-dude that called you a few days ago. What matters is that YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A STANDARD AND YOU VIOLATED THAT AND NOW YOU ARE STARING AT THE END RESULT OF NOT HANDLING YOUR BUSINESS CORRECTLY."
-_-
YO!? I couldn't say SHIT TO THAT MUTHAFUCKA! I COULDN'T SAY, SHIT! THAT'S FUCKIN FAMILY! PEOPLE WHO HONESTLY LOVE YOU, THEY DON'T FUCKIN PRETEND LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW YOU AND WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU'VE BEEN AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAND FOR, because my 1st sworn-brother was like "Does this chick know anything about the rest of us?" and I told him "I'm probably gonna do a blog post tomorrow, but no not really." and both of them was like "What about Nigeria? What about Ghana?" I was like, nah "What about Liberia?" nah-nah. So he was like "So you decided to STOP GETTING YOUR LIFE IN ORDER to have a shitty relationship with a woman who fuckin wouldn't get a divorce on her own and now you shocked that she slandered your ass on her blog site?" ay? I had to admit to him that this is essentially what I did. And the moment I tried to "shy away from that shit" both of them were like "This ain't no fuckin lawyer-talk bullshit man. You fucked up. You caught this chick red-handed and then you didn't get rid of her then and there. You then tried to make the relationship work, but you actually didn't trust her anymore. The reality is though, she was never trustworthy to begin with and you know that. What grown woman needs someone else to get her out of a decision that she decided to make when she married a man and she saw he wasn't worth it?"

They proceeded to bring me full-circle back to why my marriage to my ex-wife didn't work and how I ended up getting my son stripped from me by her and how she was able to get a restraining order against me where I thought all these years I was convicted for domestic abuse and I only found out AFTER I finally started focusing on GETTING MY LIFE IN ORDER AGAIN. That I have a restraining order on my public record FOR A DOMESTIC DISPUTE. These two members of my family are two of the people I grew up with and ran the streets with and busted heads and took names with! We were all supposed to go into the army, but I didn't. My sister-in-law was screaming at me last night because even though I've spent the last year-&-a-half running to catch-up on the time that I've lost and wasted, she was like "So you put some Non-Blackwoman ahead of your son!? JESUS CHRIST SHAWN WHAT THE FUCK!? THEN YOU FUCKED SHIT UP WITH YOUR SURROGATE SON TOO!?" and she made it clear to remind me that yes, I did all that running and racing and wasting for a non-Blackwoman who never pushed me for the sake of my son. Last night? I took A MASSIVE "L"!

Because I deserved it.

My sister-in-law was like "Look at all you've accomplished in a-year-&-a-half while you were bedridden for most of it!" I was like, true, but then she was like "I'm looking at what this bitch is saying on this blog. She's fuckin dragging your name through the mud because THIS IS WHO SHE IS." but then she hit me with the fact that "She's blaming you for everything that ever happened while making sure not a soul knows shit about the scumbag family she comes from, the shit that went on when you were with her! Or the shit that she did! So that means that everything you ever did or tried to do with this woman. MEANT NOTHING TO HER! Now she's LICKIN HER FAMILY'S ASS CUZ SHE'S DESPERATE TO MAKE UP WITH THEM AFTER SHE USED YOU AS A WEAPON AGAINST THEM EVEN AFTER YOU TOLD HER DUMB-ASS TO STOP DOING THAT! She's gonna keep HER FAMILY'S DIRTY LAUNDRY AND HER OWN! But she's gonna fuckin smear the shit outta you and then pretend like she's some fuckin victim, HOW COULD YOU FALL FOR THAT AGAIN!? Why do you involve yourself with women like this!? STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON STUPID BITCHES AND GET YOUR FUCKIN WRITING CAREER OFF THE GROUND MAN! I'm readin this shit AND ALL SHE DOES IS IMITATE YOU IMITATE YOU IMITATE YOU! Not an original fuckin thing on the fuckin thing except her cheap imitations of how you write, how you do things, spun with her SILLY STUPID CHILDISH-ASS WAY OF SEEING THE WORLD! YOU LEFT OUR GODSON IN THE HANDS OF A WOMAN YOU KNOW AIN'T RIGHT IN THE HEAD FOR THIS FUCKIN PETTY CHILD!? C'MON MAN!"

You see, this wasn't DOOM-&-GLOOM. What my sister-in-law said ISN'T doom-&-gloom. These are facts. What she said is reality. And the reality of the situation and the reality of WHAT I'D GONE AND DONE LIKE A JACK-ASS. Not because I say so. But because it is so. These are things that I am going to have to answer for when My Son asks me "Why did it take you so long to get back into my life, dad?" I'm gonna have to tell him the truth and I've already been typing daily documents since the start of this year so that he can see exactly what I've been doing. I've also got the journals that I've kept since 2002 so he can read what his father had been doing all those years I was away from him. But what sister-in-law said was true and is true and has nothing to do with delusional thinking or flat out denial. There was a price to pay for my decision and I am going to pay that price, because only a scumbag coward would do otherwise.

So then my 2nd sworn-brother, her husband, mind you I'm on a conference call with all three of them and they all made it clear that "If you need our help we'll DEFINITELY BRING IT!" but my 2nd sworn-brother let me know again that "You were never in a position to even do this, that's why your oldest son moved out on you and won't talk to you anymore. Because you invested in this woman and she was never worth it. Now she thinks she has the right to talk shit on you, because she's pissed. She has no reason to be pissed. But she's a child in a grown woman's body and I think you knew that at some point and you kept going anyway, well? Now you gotta handle your business. Now you gotta handle your business."

We talked for hours. And all of them pointed out the fact of what happened when I finally went into the White American Domestic Court System four years ago where they reminded me of how the judges in my Child Support Case and when I was being held for having STOPPED PAYING CHILD SUPPORT TWELVE YEARS AGO, all sided with me. My sister-in-law said it. My sworn-brothers said it. People in my neighborhood right outside my window now have said it "I don't know of ANYONE that owed nearly $50,000 in child support being told by a judge, 30 days jail ONLY or $1,000 AND YOU CAN LEAVE FROM PRISON." dude across the street told me the other day "People KNOW YOU MAN, I know you're not whoever you were long time ago, Shawn. But people KNOW you're a good man, man. You say what you mean you mean what u fuckin say, all right. You told the fuckin," and he started fuckin laughin and he said "Look? I'm fuckin White, okay? You fuckin told the fuckin Whiteman years ago, yo? I took this loss on the bullshit domestic abuse claim to protect my son, because I can't fuckin trust that my fuckin wife won't fuckin kill us all if I beat this fuckin case with nowhere to fuckin go except back to the house with her. My man, your son was barely a year old. You fuckin took the loss. Went to work. Paid child support, they gave her the fuckin restraining order and then she used that as a means to keep your son away from you. YOU THEN TOLD THE FUCKIN WHITEMAN AGAIN, YO!? You went INTO FUCKIN COURT WHERE YOU WERE ALREADY IN CONTEMPT! AND YOU TOLD THEM AGAIN! ALL RIGHT!? U FUCKIN TOLD THEM TO THEIR FUCKIN FACE! IN CONTEMPT COURT! Fuck does fuckin what's-her-name know about standing up to authority and saying straight-up I CAN'T SEE MY SON?! NO MORE FUCKIN MONEY. FUCK IT! Dude? YOU? ARE A FUCKIN BLACKMAN, ALL RIGHT. NO BULLSHIT! YOU ARE A FUCKIN BLACKMAN THAT WHITES FUCKIN FEAR BECAUSE YOU MADE IT CLEAR THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK I'M GONNA DO IF YOU DON'T FUCKIN STOP MAKIN FUCKIN EXCUSES FOR THIS BITCH! AND I DON'T GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT WHAT YOU GONNA THINK OF IT OR WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO! THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK I'M GONNA DO IF THIS SHIT CONTINUES!" then he looked at me and he said real fuckin quiet-like "Then? You fuckin went and did it. You did exactly what you said you would do. That's why fuckin ten-eleven years later? Fuckin judge was like, $1000 or 30 days, we're done."

I don't owe anymore child support at all. Because like I always said from day-one, my ex-wife was simply trying to get revenge on me for petty, selfish reasons. When I complied with the courts and did what I was supposed to and anytime she had to show up she could see and hear that the judge on the bench, like the judge at my video court date when I was up at the George W. Hill Prison for not paying my child support. Both of them knew EXACTLY what was up. And the times of simply shoving men through the system had passed. Now it was all about actually probing the cases, asking questions and trying to find out what the hell actually happened and why is this going on. And these judges HONESTLY REMEMBERED ME. Because I was HONEST FROM THE DOOR ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. They also saw the fact that from time-to-time I even sent in $5, $10, $20 over the years. When my ex-wife saw that she couldn't just lie and make the courts do her dirty work for her anymore, she walked right into court WITHOUT WARNING and zeroed out all $60,708.26 of child support owed. I have not found one person yet who has not said that the only reason why a woman would all of a sudden do that is because of the fact that she started the whole thing simply out of sheer spite in the first place. Caseworker for my doctor's office and my doctor were utterly shocked when I showed them the paperwork and then they both said the same thing "She hasn't contacted you though, has she?" and I said "No. And she has all my information. All of it. Address. Phone. Email. All of it. She refuses to talk to me directly and I already know why and it's because of the last line of defense lie that she has, which was our divorce decree that she lied to get. She has to have SOLE CUSTODY, which is why she knows she doesn't HAVE TO TALK TO ME IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO. But I have one last card up my sleeve that will do away with that and reverse our roles permanently once I look over all of the paperwork for the finalized divorce decree. If I've done my work well enough, she's unwittingly given me the means to send her to prison for 5-to-10 years."

I remember that the caseworker looked at me and she said "Damn!? You planned all of this out that long ago? I'd hate to get on your bad side, buddy." and I told her "I had to sacrifice raising my son. I had to go through the domestic court system and for what? Because I wanted a divorce from her? I never heard my son's first words. Never saw his first steps. Wasn't there when he was teething or sick or crying. I don't care about what anyone else thinks or what it all means to them, but I waited my whole life to be a better father than my father and my sister's-father and my mother's father and I was. And she used the White American Court System to take that all away from me. How much does your son or you daughter or your children mean to you? What would you do if someone took them from you and it was unjustified and you had no place to turn. When women are abused or isolated and in dangerous situations with children, everyone comes running. But when men are in danger and isolated and abused everyone says 'man-up'! And then they walk away. So you do what you need to do. I do what I needed to do for my son to have the best chance possible of surviving, where already, he was barely 13-months and already he's forced to deal with survival mode because I made the wrong choice in having this woman as his mother. I can't trust the White American Domestic Court System. And my own family is trying to profiteer off of my problem and I was a stay at home father like a fool back then. My ex-wife stole my black book so I couldn't reach any of my sworn-brothers outside of the US who were all up in the military oversees, I had nothing and I got caught with my pants down around my ankles because I was dumb enough to be honest with a woman who was never worth it in the first place. So I got what I deserved."

Make no mistake about it, I know that cutting my son off from financial support from me was a fucked up thing to do on a SOCIAL LEVEL. But being a father, BEING HIS FATHER. Is more than me being a walking-wallet. Putting food on the table? Roof over a child's head? Clothes on their back, like Sister Shaharazade Ali said & still says;

"There are people in this world that think that they're raising a child because they put food in their bellies. Roof over their heads. Clothes on their backs. Shoes on their feet. No. THAT IS MAINTAINING A CHILD. Anybody can do that. You're supposed to do that. But all that is is maintaining a child, THAT'S NOT RAISING A CHILD. That's why we have children that are beaten and abused, but the mother's dress'em up nice. Have'em in designer clothes, kids have no sense of self. No moral compass, no sense of direction and not one clue of what it means to be Black. But they know the latest rap songs and be up on the Iphone-7 and know how to tweet and all this other mess. But they have NO FOUNDATION and NO CORE SENSE OF SELF, because their mother never taught'em nothin. Then she's trying to get the Whiteman to drive HER MAN OUT THE HOUSE whenever he is a man, because she wanna be able to do whatever she wants and her man now steppin up and steppin-in and sayin; 'Look? Raising these kids is supposed to be your domain and you don't know what you're doing. I gotta step in now cuz u can't do your job.' Then she wanna call the Whiteman and call child support and all this mess cuz she's embarrassed that she can't be one of the core principles of what it means to be a woman. Being a mother. And being a mother means you have to be able to educate your children on who they are, what they are supposed to be about, what their father is about and what your people are about. Lot of these women runnin around today are horrible mothers and they lie to cover it up, but you see it in how their children conduct themselves. Child in front of your face is respectful, but really they're being deceitful cuz the mother said act right in front-a me, but then when the child's outta sight they can act like any ole kind of wild savage till the Whiteman shoots them dead for wildin out! Or they get arrested or got all kinda crazy mess chasing them home cuz their mother said act right in front of me, but act a fool anywhere else. Childish nonsense. Childish, stupid, nonsense, because it tells the child you can lie to me. Be deceitful, then the child grows up to be phony and a liar and then they mamma lookin around claiming they didn't teach them that, YES YOU DID! Yes you did. Maintaining a child, IS NOT RAISING A CHILD."

I remember when I saw this interview on youtube last year and I listened to her and I could fuckin feel my fuckin adrenaline flowin because I was like, FINALLY! FINALLY SOMEBODY FUCKIN UNDERSTANDS THAT IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MONEY AND SHIT! But this woman and countless other Blackwomen have been saying this for decades and you don't see anyone running to give them TV-shows and all that Empire shit. Because if you put Blackwomen talking about things that matter on TV, then you start showing people that we're not a race of losers and liars. And that we not only do care about ourselves, our children, and our future. But we know how to handle our business just like everybody else. Way back in 2002 I told the judges in both my contempt cases that I make enough money to pay my bills and pay child support. I don't have anymore money to spend on enforcing an order THAT YOU GRANTED HER. If this court will not make her honor her agreement, then I will no longer continue to pay child support while I cannot see my son. And then I am already under a restraining order, how on earth can I then argue and fight with her under these circumstances? If YOU WILL NOT ENFORCE WHAT YOU GAVE HER, THEN I WILL NOT PAY ANOTHER CENT.

I damn near started a riot RIGHT OUT HERE IN MEDIA COUNTY COURTHOUSE OF DELAWARE COUNTY! Because the men-&-women in there, you could fuckin see it! It was like a fuckin morgue. The women were all bitter and pissed and the men were all COWERING AND SHIT! FUCK OUTTA HERE! Soon as I spoke up HER ATTORNEY STARTED TALKING HER SHIT and I repeated myself AND THE MEN AROUND THAT FUCKIN COURTROOM THEY FUCKIN PICKED THEIR FUCKIN HEADS UP! I couldn't believe that this kind of SHIT! WAS GOING ON! People just SITTIN THERE, head all fuckin down and shit, GROWN FUCKIN MEN! GROVELING BEFORE THEY GOT IN FRONT OF THE FUCKIN JUDGE! I started arguing with the VERY SAME MAN I WOULD SEE JUST 4 YEARS AGO! And I made it clear I'M NOT GROVELING FOR SHIT MUTHAFUCKA! THIS IS MY CHILD TOO! FUCK OUTTA HERE!

And notice, real fuckin locations. Not some bullshit vague shit. I swear on my grandmother's grave I will NEVER AGAIN! ALLOW ANYMORE COWARDS AND LIARS TO EVER SLANDER ME AGAIN WHEN I FOUGHT MY ASS OFF WHEN OTHER BLACK PEOPLE RAN FROM WHITES! When cowards refused to stand up for Our People or for themselves, I fuckin DID! AND STILL FUCKIN DO! I am proud of being BLACK! And no matter how FUCKED UP I AM OR MY PEOPLE OUR I KNOW WE CAN GET OURSELVES RIGHT AND RETURN TO A POSITION OF RESPECTABILITY AND POWER! SO FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH ALL THIS TREACHEROUS, TRAITOROUS, BOOTLICKIN BELLY-CRAWLING HANDS-UP BULLSHIT! I come from Black Family THAT HAS DIED FOR OUR PEOPLE! I have run with Black People who have fought in race wars with me against FUCKIN SKINHEADS AND CROOKED WHITE COPS! I know NOTHING ABOUT BEGGING FOR MY LIFE WITH HAND'S UP DON'T FUCKIN SHOOT! And LAME ASS HASHTAGS ABOUT BLACK LIVES MATTER! I KNOW MY FUCKIN LIFE MATTERS MUTHAFUCKA! AND IT'S UP TO ME TO MAKE SURE THAT IT FUCKIN MATTERS MUTHAFUCKA! I cannot believe, even as I type this, with all that I have done in my life. Where I have RISKED MY LIFE FOR WHAT IS FUCKIN RIGHT! But I have sat and allowed a COWARD WHO ALLOWS HER DAUGHTER TO BE LOCKED IN A HOUSE AND BEATEN! TO THINK SHE CAN TALK SHIT TO ME ABOUT DIGNITY! To TALK SHIT ABOUT THE COPS OF SOUTH AFRICA AND THE ANC WHEN YOU WOULDN'T FUCKIN CALL THE COPS ON HER BOYFRIEND! AND THEN YOU ADMITTED AFTER I KEPT FUCKIN PRESSURING YOU TO DO THE FUCKIN RIGHT THING! THAT YOU KNEW THAT FUCKIN DIRT-BAG'S UNCLE AND YOU WENT TO SCHOOL WITH HIS ASS AND HE WAS A FUCKIN COP! And you make sure you cut copy paste that YOU FUCKIN COLOURED COON-ASS TRASHWHORE! CUZ I KNOW YOU'RE READING MY BLOG!

I didn't cry and whine. I did't put on a SHOW. I didn't LIE. It wasn't DOOM-&-GLOOM. It was, here are the facts. Here is my proof. This is what I DID WRONG. This is what I DID NOT. And because of the fact that I was HONEST. CONSIST. AND THEN PROVIDED PROOF! FACTS! This is why I am able to fuckin type this shit today, right now. Because I fuckin FOUGHT FOR THE RIGHT TO BE FUCKIN ABLE TO TYPE THIS SHIT. BECAUSE I HANDLED MY FUCKIN BUSINESS. I will never.
Fuckin.
Again.
Allow some piece  of shit BITCH. To slander me. And last night MY FAMILY made it clear "We got your back MUTHAFUCKA! BUT STOP FUCKIN AROUND WITH STRAY DOGS UP ON THE FUCKIN INTERNET! Handle your business! Protect your reputation. Don't fuckin let no fuckin BITCH who lets her fuckin DAUGHTER GET BEATEN UP! TALK SHIT TO YOU! Don't take CRAP from a family of RAPIST! MOLESTERS! AND CON-ARTISTS! And burn every fuckin thing to the fuckin ground that YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BURN TO THE GROUND. SO THESE FILTHY MUTHAFUCKA'S CAN'T FUCKIN PROFITEER OFF OF YOU! And if they want war? Then this is what we do. This is who we are. And this is who YOU ARE. Stop being merciful and makin excuses for lousy-bitches. She fuckin stops slandering you on her fuckin blogs and shit, then you fall back. But she keeps fuckin talking shit, then protect your rep and be who you are and handle her ass like you do anybody else that fuckin tries to fuck you over. BE. YOU. This is why your ass isn't locked up and destitute on the street, cuz you fuckin tell the fuckin truth and don't fuckin BULLSHIT MUTHAFUCKA'S! SO STOP BULLSHITTIN YERSELF! Stop taking low-life muthafucka's crap. Go get your son back. Finish what the fuck you started. And handle your business."

And that's why the title of the post is a snippet from EPMD. Because I'm gonna handle my business. This post is dedicated to my son. I am sorry for keeping you waiting like this. I won't let anyone or anything stop me again. I won't derail myself again, and I'm sorry, just hang on a little bit longer. Because I'm coming down the back-stretch now. Your Father is coming home son and nothing and no one will stop me from finishing what I started. I love you and I'm sorry for making you go through life alone without me....