I'm GETTING READY to head out to pay rent.
I come up on here NOW, because I didn't post the drawing I finished last night and finally needed to get some SLEEP! I've worked 7-days straight since last week Saturday. But I got up and started to check my accounts and lo-n-behold I came across My Twitter Account and it noted I was down 1-following, NOT FOLLOWER.
But FOLLOWING.
So I said to myself "I guess Stacey removed me from her twitter account."
Well, I found out because yes I checked and lo-n-behold HER ENTIRE ACCOUNT IS NOW GONE!
I thought about that FOR A MOMENT and then I said, eh, maybe she blocked me or something.
Then it HIT ME that I put up a post that HIGHLIGHTED that for ALL HER YEARS BLOGGING I'VE PAST HER IN LESS THAN A YEAR'S TIME ON TWITTER!
Then I said "I know she didn't get mad about that, did she? Would she?" and I had to be honest with myself because of the fact that yes. She would get mad about that. YES. She is PETTY AND EGOTISTICAL LIKE THAT AND NO, she does not like Facts.
And, I was like, and this is why I haven't actually done anything about getting back with her.
This is exactly why.
Because a woman this skittish just can't be trusted.
I mean, that's the reality.
It might not be one that I like, BUT!?
I feel good about the fact that I've stayed with My Feet on the Ground ROOTED IN REALITY in regards TO HER.
For the record?
She now comes up on here and then leaves for days then comes back.
Meanwhile, for the Umpteenth Time, Blogger Tracks EVERYTHING!
So now her new thing is, is to Use her Android Phone to do a search and come here by way of that search.
She's been doing THAT since I deleted that page she kept using as an anchor to come up on here after I told her to stop doing that because she was overly inflating that page's numbers. And yes, it was THAT BAD.
I'ma be totally honest with you, when We as men, REGARDLESS OF RACE-N-PLACE, do things like what she has done and does. We're called Stalkers and Psychos and all kinds of Horrible-Crap where We just need to MOVE ON!
When women do it, excuses are made.
But the reality is?
Unless the people in question HONESTLY HARMED ONE ANOTHER THE REALITY IS;
The People, Parties and/or Person in Question, hasn't been able to move on because they still have no closure. Whether it is because of regrets, still having feelings for the other person, etc.
I have always been crystal clear here and have not sugarcoated anything. I have always stated that I love Stacey but her behavior and what she did and what she does, just is not the behavior of a woman who is worth marrying or being with. From the constant lying. The phoniness. The immaturity and flightiness. Then claiming to be some victim of me in our relationship, there is a lot that she has ATTEMPTED TO DO AND SAY where the reason why none of it matters is because I DID NOT STICK AROUND FOR HER TO BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY USE THOSE LABELS ON ME.
-_-
Some of You will understand that and others won't.
Bottom line is that I told her that she had to wait because she DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING. AND I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES TO MEET WHERE PUTTING HER FIRST AND THEN HER DOING WHAT SHE DOES, IS WASTING MY TIME AND HARMING MY OVERALL NEEDS THAT I MUST ACHIEVE.
I did not, until I created this blog.
Reveal to Her in any way that I knew she was cheating on me still and I'd had enough of her and that bullshit. Because even IN THAT, she was HALF-ASSING THAT TOO, how!? How in thee fuck DO YOU LAZILY CHEAT!? Whut, I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE! Someone who is even LAZY AND UNCOMMITTED, TO THEIR CHEATING!
And then, the cheating was not BAD ENOUGH.
Nope!
CHEAT WITH A MARRIED MAN.
Which means everything she'd ever said was yet ANOTHER LIE.
And that is what DISAPPOINTS ME MOST ABOUT HER.
Ugh, the lying. Then NOT A GOOD LIAR.
Whut, how, ugh.
Look, you can think what you wish but c'mon.
Don't you hate when someone is up in your face talking shit and they know you know they are talking shit and its like "Why are you bothering to open your mouth and lie like this when it isn't necessary."
But for me?
I KNOW why she does that.
Because it allows her to FANTASIZE THAT SHE HAS BEEN DOING SOMETHING OF SOME SORT OF WORTH WITH HER LIFE.
THAT!?
Is the Sad Reality.
This woman has seen more of the world than me.
But knows nothing about the world she has seen.
She talks about LIVING LIFE AND LOVING LIFE AND HAPPINESS.
Yet she does NOT LIVE LIFE NOR LOVE IT AND IS NOT HAPPY.
-_-
Thus, she qualifies as a Libra.
AT LEAST, the WRONG KIND OF LIBRA.
Because there are plenty of Libra's out there ACTUALLY DOING WHAT THEY SAY WHEN THEY SAY IT!
All that I have typed her.
Is negative.
Which is NOT the full-story of what happened in Our Relationship NOR IS IT ENTIRELY HER. She lies, because she's a coward and was raised in an environment where nobody would accept nor believe her when she told the truth.
She lives in fantasy land, because of the exact same environment that refused to HONESTLY love her as a daughter and sister. And all of this started when she was a child and eventually she caved.
She gave in, and started going along to get along, until she became just like Her Parents and Family.
At least, on the surface.
She lacks the financial means that her older brother and sister have, as well as her younger brother. Which is ironic to me. Yet she is the one with THE MOST ACTUAL GOD-GIVEN TALENT. Which is something that White Power Supremacy is GREAT FOR DOING. It is great for getting entire families of Non-Whites to UNDERMINE THEIR ACTUAL FAMILY-TALENT while PUSHING THE IMMORAL AND IGNORANT FAMILY-MEMBERS WHO HAVE MADE IT CLEAR THAT;
The Ends Justify the Means.
So if it means lying to get that money.
To get that post and position, so be it.
If it means intentionally living without any kind of dignity while I crawl on the floor for opportunities and turn my back on those I know need me, so be it.
Long as I get what I need or want, so be it.
My People are under the impression that We are the only ones all fucked up from White Power Supremacy and I am here to tell you We are not, HOWEVER!? I am also here to type to you about the fact that OTHER RACES DO NOT WANT US TO STAND UP AND REBUILD OURSELVES BECAUSE IT THEN PUTS THEM AT RISK OF SHIFTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POWER STRUCTURE OF WHITE SUPREMACY THAT THEY COSIGNED! AND SUPPORTED/SUPPORT!
Unlike Other Non-Black/Non-White Races.
We AS BLACK PEOPLE.
GET ZERO EVERYTHING FROM OUT OF THE WHITE POWER SUPREMACY POWER STRUCTURE.
AND THE OTHER NON-BLACK/NON-WHITE RACES KNOW THIS AND USE THIS AND ALWAYS KEEP THAT IN MIND.
This is also another reason why I HAVE NOT ACTUALLY ATTEMPTED TO FIX ANYTHING WITH STACEY. Because the Truth of the Matter as some of you have figured out, is because Why Should I.
She cheated.
She lied.
Most of What she'd ever said to me, Was not and Is not her.
And this is the Power of Love.
And The Dangers of Love.
Because when you LOVE THE WRONG PERSON?
You can suffer for it, but?
And watch this now.
When you Love the Wrong Person and then you are a part of a TARGETED GROUP?
Now?
You've put yourself in a situation where YOU WILL SUFFER FOR IT.
And more likely than not.
You'll be destroyed BY IT.
Understand something reader, it has NOT BEEN EASY.
Not actually fixing things and addressing things with Stacey.
But when she decided to keep lying to me.
When she was able to get down on one-knee with me at Philadelphia International Airport, completely CLUELESS!
That I knew what she'd been doing before she got here.
Exchange rings with me.
And at no point.
Did she confess that she was still playing around with Baby Dave Evans.
Where?
When I brought The Truth!?
And HONESTLY SAID TO HER "I know all you wanna actually do is fuck around with this guy literally. And then come home to me. Be responsible. TAKE. RESPONSIBILITY. STOP WITH YOUR HORRIBLE HIDING AND LYING. Be honest with Me. And be honest WITH YOURSELF."
She couldn't do it.
And when she spoke with Him and he JUMPED ALL OVER ALL OF MY STIPULATIONS AND THEN, THEN!?
He then invited US.
Not Her.
NOT ME.
US!
Down to His House to Swing with Him and His Wife.
She torpedoed everything.
Look.
I can't get past that part.
That is why I don't do anything to fix anything.
Because I already did that.
And she ruined everything.
She made it clear, I wanna be able to BE A LIAR IN THE DARK.
A LIAR IN THE SHADOWS THAT I CAN'T EVEN STICK TO AND ARE SCARED OF, AM SCARED OF!
Do you know fuckin insulting that is.
Reread what I just typed and take it in.
A LIAR AND A CHEAT.
Wants CONSIDERATIONS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BE OPEN AND HONEST ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY WERE A LIAR AND A CHEAT, translation!?
I'd rather do dirt behind Your Back.
Then have everything out front and in the open SO I CAN HONESTLY BE A BETTER PERSON.
No matter how you see or don't see that, THAT!?
Is actually what she decided to do when she torpedoed everything.
She made it clear I'd rather be a LIAR.
Than to have to be HONEST AND OPEN AND RESPONSIBLE AND?!
Heaven forbid Shawn gets a chance to ENJOY HIMSELF TOO.
Can't have that.
Well?
I can't have you.
And I can't.
Because You're NOT WORTH IT.
Not because I type so.
But because Her BEHAVIOR SAYS SO.
Now?
Before I get outta here and go pay bills, like to note to you that some of you have seen that she used to post post replying to mine here and so on. But every time during that phase she would always shut up when I made it clear that her post never had any ACTUAL DETAILS IN THEM. Because of course she did not want whomever to know who she really is or whatever. But I saw the fact that she is now getting another tattoo that is long and massive up her arm. So note. Since My Departure from Being WITH HER. All the things she used to claim Her Daughter did wrong with tats and why is she doing that where I reminded her that Her and Her Ex-Husband are frauds and freaks. And freaks in a sexual sense.
And for the record I've already stated that I myself am freaky.
I have typed on here repeatedly the fact that I was willing to allow Stacey to LITERALLY FUCK AROUND with Baby Dave Evans as long as everybody was above board and I got a video of them fucking whenever they fucked.
And no I was not joking nor exaggerating.
He was fine with it and it is what caused Him to invite Us down to Swing, you see, THAT IS THE IRONY OF THIS!
That is ONE REASON WHY you don't really READ ME TAKING SHOTS AT BABY DAVE EVANS BUT SO MUCH!
Because when I stepped up and MADE MY DECISION TO DO WHAT I'D DECIDED TO DO.
I was clear AND CONCISE.
Which is WHAT A BLACKMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
You can like or dislike or whatever MY DECISION.
BUT YOU CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T STAND ON IT!
And because of THAT?
HE RECIPROCATED BY SAYING "Well, if You're gonna HOOK ME UP THEN I'LL HOOK YOU UP TOO!" THIS IS WHY MEN ALWAYS WIN OUT OVER WOMEN.
Because We actually WORK TOGETHER WHEN WE FIND COMMON GROUND.
Even in something like WIFE-SWAPPING!
-_-
Women on the other hand either are socially programmed or have become too whatever TO BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED AND WANT AND WHAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY DOING.
So when Stacey was faced with REALITY.
Instead of coming to Me and saying "I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKING HIS WIFE!" where she knew, heh-heh-heh-heh, HOW CAN SHE SAY THAT WHEN IT WAS HER CHEATING THAT CAUSED ALL OF THIS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
ENOUGH!
ENOUGH!
I HAVE WORK TO DO AND I NEED TO GET TO IT!
I was told yesterday at work by a Black Elder Coworker "Brother lemme tell you something. I see why you're considered dangerous. You know how to speak your peace without compromising. You say what you honestly mean and you honestly LIVE BY WHAT YOU SAY! You ain't tryin to be PERFECT! You just out here living by what you believe to the BEST OF YOUR ABILITY! And it causes you to stand out brother. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING! KEEP WORKING ON YOUR ARTWORK AND WRITING AND WEBSITE AND ANYBODY THAT GETS IN THE WAY, FUCK'EM! GET RID OF'EM! CUZ IT'S YOUR TIME NOW BROTHER!"
This Post is Dedicated to Wayne Wright.
Good luck, brother and keep on being the best you can be.
And like you said yesterday "Keep going, Shawn. Keep going brother AND DON'T LOOK BACK! It has been a pleasure working with you. And you deserve nothing but the best!"
And so do you brother.
So do you.
But to GET THAT.
You have to fight for it....
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