I'm really getting a chance TO LOOK AT the massive difference in how boys-&-girls are raised. At least!? The expectations between the two. And I'm concerned to say the least.
Boys are raised to be a Hero. To be the Leader. To be a King and a Conqueror.
-_-
I have always known that Girls are told they are Princesses and TREATED AS SUCH, but...!?
I feel like TBA Jason Black and I can actually hear his voice as I type;
"But what exactly does that mean?"
And I ask YOU the Reader to ASK YOURSELF, what DOES that mean?
Think about and THINK BACK.
Girls are told they are Princesses and they are to be treated as such, BUT?
Is it ever told TO THEM that they have TO DO RIGHT SO THAT THEY ARE WORTHY OF BEING A PRINCESS?
AND THEN!?
What KIND OF PRINCESS IS SHE?
WHAT EXACTLY IS/ARE THE EXPECTATIONS OF BEING A PRINCESS AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO EVEN BE, A PRINCESS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
You see, all of this started today, because Stacey has decided to write "a relationship book". And I saw an EXCERPT OF IT on her google+. Remember that it was the call from Her Side-Piece-Chick-Dude that caused me to even open this blog in the first place. He made it crystal clear that he's never to be trusted and he's allegedly, supposedly, the one "representing" and "publishing" Stacey's sloppy-second-hand-ideas. Mind you? When he was lying through his teeth 3-months ago he seemed to have forgotten that the US Copyright Office is online and has online search for copyrighted materials. All that slick-talking shit and I found nothing listed. So? He tipped me off about this slanderous crap coming down the pipeline and yes I've kept my eye open, because this woman has done some foul-shit. And I sat there like Boo-Boo the Dummy and turned a pathetic blind-eye to it, because I loved her. I am not gonna pretend to be innocent. I have willfully contributed to my own problems in the past and I've finally stopped doing that and so the people I used to be cool with are now enemies or pissed off with me or at me.
And now I've just posted THIS to Her Blog to LET HER KNOW. "I'm going to HONESTLY GET INTO what you've decided to claim with this excerpt and your supposed upcoming book." that is the comment I left. And now? I've deleted the comment. Because I already know that this immature-child will simply delete it anyway or do something out-of-bounds and attention-whorish. But she cannot say she was not warned or informed ahead of time.
NOW!?!?
Here is the Excerpt, because this is something that is important NOT JUST TO ME ON A PERSONAL-LEVEL. BUT ALSO BECAUSE?
This woman wants to PUBLISH THIS BOOK as a RELATIONSHIP GUIDE FOR OTHER WOMEN. And I realized that her entire life is a hot-mess and minefield from one attempt to another to try to scheme and plot her way THROUGH LIFE on the backs of boys-&-men. Instead of simply SITTING DOWN. Spending some SERIOUS TIME ALONE BY HERSELF. COLLECTING HERSELF. BY HERSELF. AND BEING HONEST WITH HERSELF ON WHY HER RELATIONSHIPS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HORRENDOUSLY BAD WHEN THEY END.
I'm posting this excerpt because I told her once before and I will type right now;
I don't like her parents. Because they did not teach her anything of any use to be able to deal with boys-&-men, except for;
"You're a Princess. And You're Special."
But they never gave her ANY DIRECTION ON WHAT MADE HER SPECIAL.
Or HOW TO BE WORTHY OF BEING A PRINCESS.
Here is the excerpt straight from Her Blog;
Tuesday, 30 June 2015
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Don't mind me, just practising my lioness. You can't be a South African and not embrace the wild animal in you. Then you'll just be a cardboard South African. Like those Natraj gangsters who balance their caps on the tip of their heads and bend their bodies to the side when they walk. Yeah, that's realllllllllllll dangerous looking. For all we know they have two way tape on the inside of their caps 'cause there's no way that cap is staying on that head without help of some kind. So. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
And now for the truth! My pinky chose "R" today, LOL! Sohhhh many topics come to mind. Like rainforests and rum and ripe avocado pears, even respect but today I wanna talk to you about RELATIONSHIPS. And with that? I'm going to post an excerpt from my book, Psssssssssst.
"Master manipulators like 'Jim', prey on the mistakes of others. Of that person that they're trying to reel in. They are so good at their game that if you're not attentive enough, you will not even notice that you're doing a whole lot of talking. Talking and talking while Jimbo is doing a whole lotta listening. Memorizing. Gathering ammunition to use against you to hurt you with should things turn sour or out of his favour. That's the modus operandi. To get you to talk and talk and trust and talk and talk some more and once they've heard enough and once they have you right where they want you?
You will notice a change in communication. It goes from them seemingly wanting to help or from actually helping and listening, to them reminding you about where you've been, how many wrong turns you took and then guilting you into believing that they are your knight in shining armour because they are still with you while they go down the list of, "I did this for you. I did that for you!" Behind the scenes? You know why they're doing that, don't you? Yes, it's because for them to be successful in their game plan? They need to ensure that your morale and your self-esteem remain at their lowest. That will ensure that they have a good little follower in you!
And now for the truth! My pinky chose "R" today, LOL! Sohhhh many topics come to mind. Like rainforests and rum and ripe avocado pears, even respect but today I wanna talk to you about RELATIONSHIPS. And with that? I'm going to post an excerpt from my book, Psssssssssst.
"Master manipulators like 'Jim', prey on the mistakes of others. Of that person that they're trying to reel in. They are so good at their game that if you're not attentive enough, you will not even notice that you're doing a whole lot of talking. Talking and talking while Jimbo is doing a whole lotta listening. Memorizing. Gathering ammunition to use against you to hurt you with should things turn sour or out of his favour. That's the modus operandi. To get you to talk and talk and trust and talk and talk some more and once they've heard enough and once they have you right where they want you?
You will notice a change in communication. It goes from them seemingly wanting to help or from actually helping and listening, to them reminding you about where you've been, how many wrong turns you took and then guilting you into believing that they are your knight in shining armour because they are still with you while they go down the list of, "I did this for you. I did that for you!" Behind the scenes? You know why they're doing that, don't you? Yes, it's because for them to be successful in their game plan? They need to ensure that your morale and your self-esteem remain at their lowest. That will ensure that they have a good little follower in you!
(Note; A follower to go WHERE? And do WHAT? Does she ever say EXACTLY what the "I did this for you. I did that for you" - was, or is about and why or how could any of that even turn that way? Or is her attempt to immediately create the Negative Image of Jim the Master Manipulator, right from the door, her means to not actually give any context to him. And mind you, I AM Jim, that is the name she's given me in this whole bad dramedy. Also? Remember when I talked about movies-n-TV and entertainment that holds your hand and tells you "THIS PERSON IS BAD." Show them do bad stuff "THIS PERSON IS GOOD." show them do good stuff. Awfully vague and cliched so far.)
Do you know why?
So that they can do what it is that they came there for and that is to enjoy your complete submission.
(Note; What KIND OF SUBMISSION is she talking about? Hmmmmmmm, what kind of submission DO YOU THINK she is talking about. Because of course since I am Jim, I actually know what kind of submission she means. And this is why women who allow women like THIS ONE to pull what she is trying to pull? End up having their sex-lives fucked over and fucked up, because a man can't play bedroom-games and fetish-n-fantasies with you anymore. Because he can't afford to have a woman claim he'd done something without her permission. When she not only gave permission for whatever went on, but has so many texts, chats, emails and all of that!? That it becomes enraging that she has caused all of this commotion when she knew that her real issue was; I don't like that we either can't fuck the way we used to. Or now that shit is over I hate that I fucked you and we used to do x-y-z.
This is what I mean by we as boys-n-men, we get hit with a code of conduct and it gets REINFORCED. But unfortunately girls-n-women no longer have that. It used to be that for women it was about Act like a Lady. Be a Lady. This auto-translated into being DIGNIFIED. Knowing when to do what, ESPECIALLY WITH AND TOWARDS BOYS-N-MEN. THE MOTHERS UNDERSTOOD and taught THEIR DAUGHTERS that not all attention is good. And you really have to KNOW THE INTENTIONS OF THE BOY-&-MAN YOU'RE DEALING WITH BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET AFTER ITS TOO LATE. Like sleep with him. Or perform certain types of sex-acts and then get pissed later on when the relationship ended or ends and now you're upset.
A LADY, A WOMAN, is supposed to be COMFORTABLE WITHIN HERSELF AND HER CHOICES. This allows her to be able to exert HER NATURAL DOMINANCE IN BEING INTUITIVE. COMPASSIONATE. UNDERSTANDING AND INSPIRATIONAL. Women can either build a man up or tear him down, pending on how she handles himself. Which means that when a woman decides to say something, others will immediately take her at her word and REACT. But a man is expected to be able to handle his situation FIRST. And THEN if help from others is needed, then People react-act, etc. It isn't that Women are weak or feeble, but it is the fact that HISTORICALLY the Woman tends to the children and whichever way she goes? They go. So if she says she has a situation, then support is immediately given because HER DOMAIN IS SOCIAL IN NATURE.)
And what do you do?
You offer that complete submission, eagerly.
Do you know why you offer them complete submission?
Because when you spirit is dragging around on the floor like dirt? All you're looking for is acceptance and that feeling of inadequacy that wraps around you like a winter blanket is what convinces you that maybe if you submit to him totally, you will at least measure up to a level, worthy of their love.
It's no secret that somebody who loves you without an ulterior motive, is aware of your past but does what they have to, to ensure that you KNOW that despite it all, you need not be ashamed, that you are still good enough to be loved and forgiven and taught and protected.
Nobody who loves you will….and I repeat…NOBODY who loves you will cause you to feel as if your mistakes are less acceptable than their own. Unless they are trying to break you. Depending on where you are emotionally, spiritually and all the other –ally's? They succeed, easily.
But hey, it is what it is and whether or not we want to admit that we are or ever will be fool enough to have fallen into their trap, the Jim's are out there no less. What you need to remember is that even though you have stumbled upon them, it in no way means that you have to stitch yourself to them.
When friendships begin this way, more than likely you haven't seen all sides of whomever you're dealing with. As a friend, Jim's sweet, caring, considerate, compassion side gropes you in. And once you're in? Jim has enough of your trust and emotions in the palm of his hands to safely begin to break you down, his way. Jim is a mastermind manipulator.
Once the other half of Jim reveals itself, you're already in too deep. You've taken the friendship to the next level and as time passes with Jim persisting with his ego-driven-confidence-bashing love-style, you will find that your spirit, the same spirit that he lifted during that beautiful friendship that you two shared, is constantly on the low. If you have found Jim, the belittler? Your confidence plummets from hanging by a thread before you met him to non-existent since you're with him because your gratitude has allowed you to stand right there, while he convinces you that you're nothing but a walking idiot with a vagina.
You offer that complete submission, eagerly.
Do you know why you offer them complete submission?
Because when you spirit is dragging around on the floor like dirt? All you're looking for is acceptance and that feeling of inadequacy that wraps around you like a winter blanket is what convinces you that maybe if you submit to him totally, you will at least measure up to a level, worthy of their love.
It's no secret that somebody who loves you without an ulterior motive, is aware of your past but does what they have to, to ensure that you KNOW that despite it all, you need not be ashamed, that you are still good enough to be loved and forgiven and taught and protected.
Nobody who loves you will….and I repeat…NOBODY who loves you will cause you to feel as if your mistakes are less acceptable than their own. Unless they are trying to break you. Depending on where you are emotionally, spiritually and all the other –ally's? They succeed, easily.
But hey, it is what it is and whether or not we want to admit that we are or ever will be fool enough to have fallen into their trap, the Jim's are out there no less. What you need to remember is that even though you have stumbled upon them, it in no way means that you have to stitch yourself to them.
When friendships begin this way, more than likely you haven't seen all sides of whomever you're dealing with. As a friend, Jim's sweet, caring, considerate, compassion side gropes you in. And once you're in? Jim has enough of your trust and emotions in the palm of his hands to safely begin to break you down, his way. Jim is a mastermind manipulator.
Once the other half of Jim reveals itself, you're already in too deep. You've taken the friendship to the next level and as time passes with Jim persisting with his ego-driven-confidence-bashing love-style, you will find that your spirit, the same spirit that he lifted during that beautiful friendship that you two shared, is constantly on the low. If you have found Jim, the belittler? Your confidence plummets from hanging by a thread before you met him to non-existent since you're with him because your gratitude has allowed you to stand right there, while he convinces you that you're nothing but a walking idiot with a vagina.
(Note; At no point has she mentioned that I took our friendship to the next level because I was dumb-enough to accept her 'I can't do it on my own'-ploy. -_- I just finished re-reading the emails from the very beginning of everything with this woman and I was reminded of how I had to stop dealing with her and end everything because she was determined to stay in her bad marriage. Contrary to the shit she'd talked to me for 2-years straight. But then she wanted to be able to FUCK AROUND WITH ME WHEN SHE GOT TO WORK ON THE TEXT, CHAT AND EMAILS!!!! Mysteriously none of this is INCLUDED in this "stirring tale" of the Innocent Coloured Lamb of South Africa. Once I saw she was PLAYING ME I finally got a fuckin clue and bought a vowel and LET HER KNOW that she was TOO GOOD AT FUCKIN AROUND WITH ME ON THE COMPUTER AND HER PHONES AT WORK! WHILE GOING HOME TO HER HUSBAND AFTER WORK!
Ladies and Gents, I CORRECTLY READ THIS WOMAN and PARTED WAYS WITH HER only to ACCEPT HER BACK WHEN SHE CAME BACK 4-MONTHS LATER! And why? BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT! THAT'S WHY! And I would find out near the end of our 5-year relationship, she confessed that THE ONLY REASON WHY SHE'D COME BACK TO ME WAS BECAUSE HER EX-HUSBAND HAD BEATEN HER UP AFTER HE'D GOTTEN TIRED OF HER PLAYING HIM, TOO! When I realized that Stacey was just trying to USE ME when I INITIALLY APPROACHED HER AFTER 2-YEARS OF BEING FRIENDS. I fell in love WITH THE ILLUSION of the woman SHE PRETENDED TO BE through the computer screen and her cellphones. Where she was a "married woman" in a loveless marriage with an ABUSIVE, ALCOHOLIC MAN FOR A HUSBAND.
-_-
Damn I am DUMB!
I AM FUCKIN DUMB AS SHIT!
People say Nigerians are scam-artist, FUCK OUTTA HERE! ^_^! She GOT ME! But when I re-read these first emails from when I realized she was full of shit!? I gotta do it fans! I gotta do it!
I knew she was FULL OF SHIT and CORRECTLY GOT RID OF HER! Then when she came crawling BACK with her BULLSHIT I LET HER BACK INTO MY LIFE! This is what I was talking about in one of my other post where I talked about the fact that I lost MY EDGE! I fuckin LOST MY EDGE! Because my Mother was trying to get me to DIAL IT DOWN, DIAL IT BACK! When I used to READ NIGGERS INSTANTLY AND GET'EM THE FUCK UP OUT OF MY FACE!
A belittling man relating with a woman whose confidence is THAT vulnerable will psychologically knock them the fuck out. Remember that taking the first steps after any huge life adjustment, is already a battle, even with support. A supportive, belittling man, however, will take you out of a bad situation into a much worse one.
A belittling man relating with a woman whose confidence is THAT vulnerable will psychologically knock them the fuck out. Remember that taking the first steps after any huge life adjustment, is already a battle, even with support. A supportive, belittling man, however, will take you out of a bad situation into a much worse one.
(Sorry but she only got the divorce because she'd gotten beaten up and I'd told her before we parted ways that I wasn't gonna BE a MISTRESS TO A WOMAN. Because I'm a man. We argued because she kept CLAIMING I WAS GONNA RUN OFF WITH SOME JAPANESE CHICK I DIDN'T KNOW! Chiaki Kuriyama. But I'd been using as a Muse to help me DEAL WITH ALL THE BULLSHIT I WAS GOING THROUGH! I told her about the fact that you wanna tell me what to do and how I should act and all this other bullshit when YOU ARE STILL A MARRIED WOMAN AND WON'T DO WHAT SHE KEEPS CLAIMING SHE'S GONNA DO! SO!? FUCK OUTTA HERE, BITCH! And I ended the "whatever the fuck that was"?! Because it damn sure WASN'T A RELATIONSHIP. I was Shawn, the Side Dude on the Computer! MIND YOU?! When I CONFRONTED HER about all of this and said I was done and didn't even wanna TALK TO HER AT ALL ANYMORE? She then tells me "I'm gonna tell My Husband". And I was like? So you wanna tell him SOLELY SO HE CAN BEND OVER BACKWARDS AND KISS YOUR ASS, even though you CAN'T STAND HIS ASS! AND ACTUALLY HATE HIM! So then what happens once he figures out you've made him LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN FOOL? This bitch DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK! About what I said, COULD FUCKIN CARE LESS! Meanwhile I'd JUST TOLD HER in so many words that she already said "HE'S ABUSIVE!" So now!? What is playing MIND-GAMES with him going to do once he sees through it?
He beat her the fuck up.
I cannot BELIEVE what she has put on here!?
She REFUSED TO HEED MY WARNING AND HE DAMN SURE DID SNAP! And then she came RUNNING BACK TO ME! BUT SHE NEVER SAID SHIT ABOUT WHAT'D REALLY HAPPENED UNTIL THE VERY FUCKIN END OF OUR FUCKIN BULLSHIT RELATIONSHIP! Dirt. Bag. Bitch. -_- Unbelievable. Then DURING our relationship she fuckin KEPT FUCKIN WITH HIM! Over and over I kept telling her, stop antagonizing him. Stop PICKING WITH HIM! I'M FUCKIN ALL THE WAY OVER HERE IN PHILADELPHIA! YO!? HE ATTACKS YOU I CAN'T PROTECT YOU! STOP IT! And she was INTENTIONALLY! Making him WAIT. When he would come to pick up the kids for the weekend. She would INTENTIONALLY! Make him WAIT IN THE HOUSE THAT HE'D FUCKIN BOUGHT! She'd make him SIT OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM AND WAIT!
While her ass was on the phone with me.
-_-
I told her whenever I caught her, CUT THAT SHIT OUT.
Mind you? Look at how I fucked up folks. I let her the FUCK BACK IN. Her FIRST GOAL IS TO START FUCKIN PICKING AT HER EX-HUSBAND!? That's her FUCKIN PRIORITY!? >_< Meanwhile this EXCERPT!? None of this. None of it. NONE OF THIS ANYWHERE!? She kept pickin at him and pickin at him, until? He fuckin snapped. And it was fuckin Valentine's Day ON TOP OF THAT! HE FUCKIN. SNAPPED! And allllllllllllllllllllllllll that BULLSHIT YAPPIN SHE'D DONE TO PROVOKE HIS ASS!?
-_-
She SHUTTHEFUCKUP THEN!
^_^ I fuckin fucked it up fuckin with her. And I'm smiling because it was so fuckin pathetic on my part and stupid. Because just typing all of this? There was nothing there. Not a fuckin thing. All of this? All of it? Drama. Pointless. Useless. Stupid. Drama.
Till I FINALLY woke the fuck up almost 2-years ago and that was ONLY AFTER...!?
She tried to GUILT-TRIP ME, because I told her I couldn't keep putting her first. She tried to force me to stay with her by ending the relationship and trying to guilt-trip me into staying put and she kept saying "You never loved me! You never loved me!" meanwhile?
Do you know how hard it is to keep a fuckin abusive alcoholic from kicking a woman's ass from 8,000-miles away?
-_-
But you know My Dumb-Ass pulled it off.
I had to fuckin wild-out, THROUGH A PHONE.
You know what is worse?
Stacey's Ex-Husband takes me more seriously than she does.
Let that SINK IN FOR A SECOND.
Her "Abusive" Ex-Husband, because so much shit came out in the end. I don't know how much of ANYTHING she ever said was the truth. But I was able to STOP THIS DUDE IN HIS TRACKS.
Through a fuckin phone.
And I'm sorry.
I just spoke honestly with him.
If you can call what I was doing speaking.
Bottom line?
I know... a few things.
And once it was over.
And she was all sloppy wet and wanting to have PHONE SEX!
I made it clear where I asked her "Tell me something, were you able to see a vein running down the center of his forehead? With all that shit that just went on?" and she was like "Yes." and I asked her "Did it get more and more pronounced as I kept insulting the shit outta here and stressing him out." and she was like "Yes. It was throbbing really badly, I'd never seen something like that."
And I told her "You do understand that I ONLY DID NOT KILL THAT MAN IN FRONT OF YOU. Out of RESPECT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SITTING THERE WATCHING ALL OF THIS AND HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN. But I did all the things I just did. Because it was meant to cause that vein you saw to start bulging. At first I was gonna go on ahead and keep pushing him. But then I realized that this man is sitting right in front of you and I don't want you to see something like that. Also? He's the father of your children." but what I didn't say. And should have. Is the fact that she'd provoked the whole fuckin situation anyway. -_- Typing all of this and looking back on how much of a fuckin fool I was fuckin around with her. I could've killed that man and for what?
For fuckin what?
Because he got tired of Her using ME as a weapon against Him. And that was the sick running joke for the rest of My Time with Her. We must of spent more time arguing because her family got wind of it and of course the whole scene went down at her parents house. Mind you? I was here and they're there. But the whole thing was just so goddamn pathetic. All that fuckin screaming and yelling and Her Parents? They didn't do shit. They never once stepped in. They never told Him, take that yelling outside and stop yanking My Daughter through this House and GET OUT!
>_<
This is why I said I am Tired. I am THROUGH keeping other people's secrets. Her own PARENTS!? Wouldn't step in AT FUCKIN ALL. He yanked her here there EVERYWHERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM WHILE ARGUING WITH ME ON A GODDAMN PHONE. Just sooooooooooooooooh, muthafuckin ghetto.
And he was so fuckin UNACCUSTOMED of someone stepping to him.
And I type all of this because I meant what I said.
This is THE WRONG WAY TO DO THINGS.
And I did things THE WRONG. WAY.
Yet none of this is in that excerpt.
What you just read is ONE INSTANCE of the "I did this" and "I did that" she is talking about. Her own fuckin father. Her parents?
-_-
They didn't lift a finger to help her man.
They didn't life A FUCKIN. FINGER! TO FUCKIN HELP!
Some fuckin FOREIGNER ON A FUCKIN PHONE!
HAD TO FUCKIN HELP THEIR DAUGHTER AND THEY WERE FUCKIN RIGHT THE FUCK THERE!
And not a word of any of just this ONE.
Insane.
TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR INCIDENT.
Meanwhile my dumb ass kept riding with her ass.
And Now?
I know you see it. I know you're thinking it. And you are right. Because I know you're like "Yo? Asshole? What the fuck did any of this do to get you back to Your Child? What about Your Son? All this, goddamn drama I'm reading, what the fuck!? Nowhere in this do I see anything that says anything about this woman helping you get even remotely close to finishing what you started all those years ago. Shawn? You fucked up." and you are absolutely right. I've written and typed entries for my son to read in my journals for him. I've talked about MY HORRIFIC MISTAKE in being REMOTELY INVOLVED WITH THIS MARRIED WOMAN. Where the reality was she was married. And had NOT DONE what I did TO GET DIVORCED. I had NO BUSINESS TALKING TO HER AND REST ASSURED I HAVE LEARNED A PAINFUL AND RICHLY DESERVED LESSON PEOPLE! All of the drama that you have just read? I DESERVED ALL OF IT, because the bottom line was? Stacey was still MARRIED. SO CLEARLY SHE WASN'T THAT FED-UP WITH HIM. And note that NOWHERE on anything does ANY OF THIS APPEAR on what she claims is an "excerpt" from this forthcoming relationship-book.
And she is right! I damn sure did call her stupid for risking her life on some petty-revenge! To thumb-her-nose at a man she knew had already beaten her the fuck up before. And was an alcoholic. No I am NOT going to condone that kind of reckless bullshit and call it anything other than what it was. STUPID. And she would go on to do MULTITUDES of this same kind of reckless crap and all the while I was there bailin-her-out. Bailin-her-out. And bailin-her-out! And time is just passing and passing and passing! My writing was lagging and inconsistent. I had NO FOCUS. Was getting NO WORK DONE. Everything became cobbling together shitty pages of shitty writing and then talking to her all day and being bedridden with high blood pressure and illness from being stressed out all the fuckin time. Lemme let you finish reading this bullshit. Because for-real for-real, this is all some bullshit. And I'm not trying to be dismissive, but when I say it's all some bullshit? I mean because of the fact that Stacey wants to try to convince herself that she isn't the same kind of dirt-bag bitch as TOO MUCH of her family. Yo!? I got dirt-bag's in my fuckin family, but I made and MAKE, a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to steer clear of them.
That's what you're supposed to do if you really do have SOME SORT of moral compass. I'm no fuckin saint. I've NEVER said that. But I know what I'm not. And you can clearly SEE how I got myself INTO THIS MESS with My Ex-Wife AND Stacey, whose birthdays are literally ONE DAY AFTER THE NEXT. I rode FOR TOO LONG with women whose own parents and families could give two-fucks about them. LITERALLY. So now too much is NEW to them. For them. Now they gotta GROW-UP. Unlike before, can't just say silly shit and do silly shit, BECAUSE THE FAMILY NEVER SET STRUCTURE ON WHAT IS AND ISN'T ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. Never gave goals. Never taught life-lessons. Never properly punished when behavior was wrong. I mean, c'mon people. Were you EXPECTING TO READ that Stacey's parents let her ex-husband MANHANDLE HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE IN THEIR FUCKIN HOUSE!?
Then I am ON A PHONE. Having TO GET HIM OFF OF HER, WHAT IN THE!? How the fuck bizarre and fucked up is that!? Lemme let you finish up.
Yes, I said, a supportive, belittling man. They exist. They will be there for you. They will walk with you through the toughest of times. But once they have? When they're mad enough at you, they will be sure to tell you when, how and why you deserved the treatment that you were victim to in your past or they will tell you how stupid you were to be in that situation in the first place while reminding you almost daily that it was them who had to come along and pick you back up.
It gets to a stage where you begin to hide problems and feelings from them for the sole reason of avoiding being put down and degraded. Don't ever forget that the fact that he found you broken is ammunition to this type of man. He found you at a place where you had already almost completely given up on yourself and he won't forget that. He won't let you forget it either. To make sure that you never forget that he is the one who replenished some of your confidence, is to his advantage. It keeps you in a certain place, mentally. A very, very grateful place. But should you try to stand up to him for any reason, he will think nothing of knocking you down five pegs by reminding you of where you were and how you got through it.
A selfless man, 'John'? One who has truly your welfare at heart, takes you out of the hole and covers it up so that you never have to look at it ever again. Think about this for a second? By 'Jim' constantly reminding you of that hole, is that allowing you to forget it? Or is it causing you to keep falling into it by reliving it each time that he throws it in your face? And if you keep falling into it? You remain vulnerable to the feelings that swept through you while being in it. Those same feelings that had you out there looking for that shoulder and that ear! Those very same feelings that led you to Jim to begin with.
When one is vulnerable? They are susceptible. And when one is susceptible to feelings of inadequacy, feelings of low self-esteem? They are easily influenced by negativity. Negativity about themselves, mostly. So, if you are constantly being brought back to those kinds of moments in your life, Jim's negative opinions about you are quickly accepted, by you. This is toxic because if you are accepting those negative opinions about yourself, from the man that supposedly loves you, when will you ever believe that you are better than whatever he believes that you are?
It gets to a stage where you begin to hide problems and feelings from them for the sole reason of avoiding being put down and degraded. Don't ever forget that the fact that he found you broken is ammunition to this type of man. He found you at a place where you had already almost completely given up on yourself and he won't forget that. He won't let you forget it either. To make sure that you never forget that he is the one who replenished some of your confidence, is to his advantage. It keeps you in a certain place, mentally. A very, very grateful place. But should you try to stand up to him for any reason, he will think nothing of knocking you down five pegs by reminding you of where you were and how you got through it.
A selfless man, 'John'? One who has truly your welfare at heart, takes you out of the hole and covers it up so that you never have to look at it ever again. Think about this for a second? By 'Jim' constantly reminding you of that hole, is that allowing you to forget it? Or is it causing you to keep falling into it by reliving it each time that he throws it in your face? And if you keep falling into it? You remain vulnerable to the feelings that swept through you while being in it. Those same feelings that had you out there looking for that shoulder and that ear! Those very same feelings that led you to Jim to begin with.
When one is vulnerable? They are susceptible. And when one is susceptible to feelings of inadequacy, feelings of low self-esteem? They are easily influenced by negativity. Negativity about themselves, mostly. So, if you are constantly being brought back to those kinds of moments in your life, Jim's negative opinions about you are quickly accepted, by you. This is toxic because if you are accepting those negative opinions about yourself, from the man that supposedly loves you, when will you ever believe that you are better than whatever he believes that you are?
Where was the Low Self-Esteem when you were using Your Ex-Husbands money to fuck around with some Nigger in Baltimore before I knew you? Where was the Low Self-Esteem when you let your daughter get beaten up by Her Boyfriend and YOU REFUSED to stop their relationship? Where was the Low Self-Esteem when you CHEATED ON ME AND WERE GOING TO DO A THREESOME WITH THE NIGGER IN BALTIMORE AND HIS WIFE? Till I caught you. I could be here for awhile typing, so lemme stop again so you can finish.
Hear this. You're not stupid, you're not useless and most importantly, you're not without mistakes.
There will never come a time when you're doing everything wrong. Only a time when you're doing everything wrong according to someone else's standards. You are not in any relationship, marriage or even friendship to conform. You are there to share parts of who you are, not change everything that you are! So please? If you feel as though you can't be you. If you're feeling even the slightest bit bullied by your partner? Do something. Have a conversation with them. If that doesn't work, have a conversation with someone objective to your situation. Not his friends, not your friends. I said objective.
I can't believe the bullshit I just read in that paragraph. Her Oldest Brother set her up to get hit with a corruption investigation. Her Older Sister stayed married to the man she claims raped-n-molested her. How are all of these things NOT MENTIONED? I will tell you why. Because Stacey? Is a coward. And a liar. And these people all live within striking distance to her ass and she's lived in fear, or whatever, of most of them. If there is a LESSON to be learned it is that I had no business fighting someone else's battles for them. From her Female-Cousin who'd nearly gotten her daughter killed by making sure NOT TO TELL STACEY. That her daughter had jumped this other girl at school before they went on break or whatever it is called there. Turns out they were friends and then she slept with all their boyfriends and then her and the other Girl JUMPED HER AND BEAT'ER UP WHEN BREAK STARTED!
Hear this. You're not stupid, you're not useless and most importantly, you're not without mistakes.
There will never come a time when you're doing everything wrong. Only a time when you're doing everything wrong according to someone else's standards. You are not in any relationship, marriage or even friendship to conform. You are there to share parts of who you are, not change everything that you are! So please? If you feel as though you can't be you. If you're feeling even the slightest bit bullied by your partner? Do something. Have a conversation with them. If that doesn't work, have a conversation with someone objective to your situation. Not his friends, not your friends. I said objective.
I can't believe the bullshit I just read in that paragraph. Her Oldest Brother set her up to get hit with a corruption investigation. Her Older Sister stayed married to the man she claims raped-n-molested her. How are all of these things NOT MENTIONED? I will tell you why. Because Stacey? Is a coward. And a liar. And these people all live within striking distance to her ass and she's lived in fear, or whatever, of most of them. If there is a LESSON to be learned it is that I had no business fighting someone else's battles for them. From her Female-Cousin who'd nearly gotten her daughter killed by making sure NOT TO TELL STACEY. That her daughter had jumped this other girl at school before they went on break or whatever it is called there. Turns out they were friends and then she slept with all their boyfriends and then her and the other Girl JUMPED HER AND BEAT'ER UP WHEN BREAK STARTED!
As if they somehow wouldn't all need to go back to school.
-_-
I'm gonna type that again.
As if they WOULDN'T ALL HAVE TO RETURN BACK TO SCHOOL.
-_- The more I type. The more I show you while I don't even bother trying to lie. This is all so childishly stupid and trifling that it's pathetic and at the center of this HOT MESS, is Stacey. And then MY BIG DUMB ASS IS STILL RIDING WITH HER. We're NOT GOING ANYWHERE! Mind you. I'm NOT GETTING ANY WORK DONE WITH MY SON OR MY BOOKS, mind you. And I've had A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE OF WHAT KIND OF FAMILY I WOULD BE GAINING BY MARRYING STACEY. Cuz oh yes, I did propose. Right at Philadelphia International Airport.
-_-
She ALMOST GOT WHAT I KNEW SHE WAS AFTER!
A means to ESCAPE South Africa.
-_-
Nah bitch. No. No. Engaged and all. With John still in tow. Still fuckin around with the Side-Piece-Chick-Dude. Where that fool thinks I want her back or some other shit. No. I want her RIGHT WHERE SHE IS... With you.
The Girls FAMILY came up there SOON AS BREAK ENDED. They then ended up BEATING UP Stacey's daughter. Stacey was ALL GUNG-HO TO PRESS CHARGES AND YADDAH-YADDAH-YADDAH! AND SHE WAS DOING HER LITTLE COLOURED TOYI-TOYI DANCE!
AND SHE WAS GONNA GET THEM! AND OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SO ANGRY! Till I then said "I am NOT over there to go to the police with you or court. I'm sorry but is YOUR FAMILY ready to RUMBLE the way that Girl's Family showed up and beat up Your Daughter? Will YOUR FAMILY BACK YOU UP since WE SEE THAT THIS OTHER COLOURED FAMILY IS VIOLENT."
She sat the fuck down real quick once I reminded her that Her Family, FOR THE MOST PART. Only bands together for THE WRONG REASONS. That Girl that HER DAUGHTER AND THE OTHER GIRL BEAT UP!? That Girl's Family WAITED TILL SCHOOL RESUMED AND CAME UP TO THE SCHOOL IN FORCE! LOOKING TO FIGHT! Yo? I shoulda just fuckin said nothing. I shoulda said, NOTHING. Meanwhile? Her Female-Cousin was finally outed as the one who had been influencing Stacey's Daughter to disrespect her. Or at least, at that time. I'd find out again, near the very end. That Her Daughter's disrespect had actually come from shit she'd done long before I ever knew her. And this last paragraph below? >_< Excitement of the relationship? How about love. How about HONESTY. How about ACCOUNTABILITY, when these things in A relationship wear thin? Then you may need to end the relationship. But to PRETEND LIKE all of these things just MAGICALLY DELICIOUS DESCENDED UPON YOU?
-_-
Stop it. Just? Stop it.
And really?
INSERT CLICHED PHILOSOPHICAL-SLOGAN AT THE END!?
Horrible.
When the excitement of the relationship wears thin and the compliments that you once heard begin to metamorphasize into only the "why can't you's" and "why aren't you's" and the likes? Hey look. You don't want to be a victim of that. It deflates your confidence. Places that deflate your confidence? Aren't places that you should want to spend time in."
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