You know, I'm sitting here right now and I'm realizing that some people will never grow up and they will never change their foul behavior. I really don't think parents truly understand till it is too late, that? If you reared your kids wrong, raised them wrong. They're done. And the question becomes when are they going to do something that is simply beyond their ability to bullshit their way out of.
I have a 4pm job interview later on today. And I've walked a long way to get this shot where if I score this one? Then? I'll be back to making the types of money I used to make. I'm realizing even as I type this, that I could have been at this point 5-years ago if I'd have been more SELFISH. Even a bit more RUTHLESS. Once I saw the writing on the wall and understood that I'd surrounded myself with some of the wrong kind of people FOR ME.
You can't be serious-minded and try to have frauds and habitual-liars around. After what I saw tonight I honestly don't even like typing that. But it was true and is true. You can't get people to have faith and commitment when they've never actually been committed to anything in their entire life except for bailing out when things get tough and things go wrong.
>_<
It sounds harsh and is harsh, but I am being reminded that REALITY and LIFE itself, are abstracts that are very very real AND TANGIBLE. They do not care about Good Intentions. They do not care about Feelings and whatever Situations and Circumstances you or I have. At the end of it all some type of RESULT WILL BE PRODUCED and it will ONLY BE ONE OF THREE THINGS;
1) Positive
2) Negative
3) Something In Between Positive-n-Negative
A lot has to do with YOU, or ME, as a Person. A Person might see getting out of responsibility and accountability as a POSITIVE THING. Where of course we all know that nothing could be further from the truth. I'm talking in riddles and circles and being vague and FOR THAT!? I apologize. It's been a strange night at work where I really got to thinking about the fact that;
To get more out of Life?
To BE ABLE to Live Life?
You can't bullshit Yourself about Who You Are and What You Are Doing and WHY YOU ARE DOING IT. And I was reminded tonight that I don't do that. And I saw Others who do... and are very unhappy. They don't HAVE ANYTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, and it was obvious tonight. And it was even more interesting when they saw that THEY, can be as UNHAPPY AS THEY WISH. But? They're not gonna drag me down, because they never tried to accomplish anything with their life and now they've given up. And they're STUCK, where they're at. I mean!?
Just looking at how things have changed simply by me saying;
"It's time to move on. You go YOUR WAY. Do things YOUR WAY. And I'm gonna go My Way. And Do Things My Way." just? Amazing. Lemme hit post, because I have so much going through my mind right now where just like BEFORE I GOT THIS JOB? I'm looking back on how much it was a struggle to find work when I was riding with My Former Surrogate Son and Former Fiancee and now? It's the total opposite. I haven't actually done anything different. Except for the things that didn't and wouldn't work back then, are now working. I could really get into depth, talk about some serious metaphysical beliefs that I have and I've been told by old friends. That this is why things are working out for me NOW, but wouldn't work out for me then. But I'm not gonna delve that deep.
Looking at certain people at work tonight? That is what brought this on, not Dan and Stacey. But a few people at work, they were radiating the same kind of aura and they were upset that they clearly knew;
This is all I have left to look forward to.
Then for them to react negatively, to the fact that, no. I'm not gonna get angry and down, because you feel as though your life has reached its potential. I'm sorry, I can't help you with that, I won't participate in being upset and bitter because you feel upset and bitter. Or are frustrated. Because that could be more of what it was, frustration, and not bitterness. I still have a lot of work to do in certain areas because I still get caught-up in some of the folly and foolishness of today. Where people throw around the word bitter, casually. And they lump bitterness in with frustration, when the two are actually different. With that said, lemme get back to typing. Sorry I'm taking so long on the free-stories for those of you impatiently putting up with my taking so long.
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