She began getting upset with some of the stories I would write. So after a while I simply wouldn't let her see them. This didn't work either, because of course my natural reaction was to share whatever I was working on, with her. I don't need you to guess that things got awkward after awhile. I didn't feel comfortable sharing my ideas with her. Understand too I am leaving out whatever else was going on in Our Lives at this same time. However you long time readers already know I was in the midst of still fighting with my ex-wife over the child support and INTENTIONALLY NOT PAYING IT. The details of that are up and down this blogsite. Now? Watch this?
That's it. There is and was, nothing else, going on in My Life. I had my health issues. The battle over My Son. And that is it. I didn't have family causing problems, because I wasn't trying to be up underneath My Mother or Sister after they didn't support me in keeping My Son or the false domestic abuse charge My Ex-Wife had brought against me. Again? That too is easily researched and found on this blog. But having a whole bunch of interfering, lying and manipulating family-members coming and going? No.
On her side of the fence? She let anyone and everybody come and go and do things where things were dangerous and unstable almost constantly. There was always some sort of family-drama unnecessarily going on. On top of Her doing whatever she was over there doing. Her Ex-Husband was introducing Her and Her Kids, Their Kids, to HIS MISTRESSES. And no, you did NOT read that wrong. This Coloured "Man", starts introducing the kids he had with Stacey, to HIS SIDE-BITCHES and THEIR KIDS, that he was creeping with when they were married. Now? You're not gonna find any of this on Her Blog. She's not gonna talk about just how disrespectful shit got between Her and the Now Supposedly Cool With, Ex-Husband. That doesn't even include the bullshit that ended up coming out with Her Youngest Brother Bradley. Where this guy is ALLEGEDLY, because I type THAT THAT WAY, because I already know Stacey will lie about this now that things are the way they are. OH WAIT!? WAIT!? I do have actual email proof! So NO! He was up in Her House, molesting one of Her Supposed Surrogate-Daughter's. Where I had told her years before to not let anyone move in, especially a male. This guy, from day-1 while she's divorcing her lovely, alcoholic abusive Ex-Husband. Bradley decides while he is being ALLOWED to stay in Stacey's home, as she's divorcing Zane.
But Bradley's only in the house because he'd beaten His Wife and she'd gotten a restraining-order against him and threw him out on the street! Again, you will not find not one single sentence about any of this on Her Blog. And I get covering your family's ass. But I'll be damned if you try to put my ass out the window while I was the one who stood by you and got you through all of that bullshit without you killing yourself! I told her NOT to let anyone stay up in Her House and I even tried to break up with her then. Because I saw that she really needed to spend time by herself and with Her Kids. She of course went berserk "I only divorced Zane because of you!" this would be revealed near the very end to be an UTTER LIE. Because I would find out she only came running back to me, because Zane saw through the fact that she was playing Him for a Fool and had threw it in his face that I'd had the nerve to take her seriously and actually tell her I loved her and wanted the chance to make her happy. I have typed about that mistake before, where when I did step to her, she wanted to cheat behind Zane's back and I refused. Once she made it clear that all she was doing was talking shit, I then went on about my business.
So please excuse me if you're lost or I'm jumping around too much. Because this was actually at the very beginning of my attempt to court her. But the irony is that when I first stepped to her? She made it clear that she wasn't gonna divorce Zane and I then challenged her on all of those years of talking about how unhappy she was and how they need a divorce, etc. She then took it to what was I going to do about Chiaki? This is why I explained to you FIRST, about Chiaki and the fact that I never actually knew this woman. But was using her as a muse and source of inspiration for my work. I'm not even gonna lie, there were times when Stacey would use the SA-card on me "I'm from South Africa, what does that mean?" until she played it too many times and revealed that really that was all it was. An Act Ignorant Card, so when she didn't like something she would act like she's just some dim-witted Coloured woman. She could be slick with it from time-to-time! But she would always keep overplaying certain things and end up showing she was just trying playing dumb on purpose.
So I was able to tell that Stacey knew that claiming what am I gonna do about Chiaki? When I don't know this woman. But then when I asked "What're you gonna do about Zane?" then she would hop off Mixit and she'd have to go or whatever flimsy excuse. I realized that she'd done this whole cheating thing before, I just didn't know with who yet. I'd find out years later it was Dave, FOR STARTERS. Because there were Others, which really disappointed me! Because it showed me that all she honestly cares about is "As long as it ain't me gettin played, I don't care!" well?! INITIALLY? After she showed me this, I got it right. And I told her to leave me alone. She then told me "I'm gonna tell Zane about this."
And I was like "About what? Two sex stories I sent you and the fact that all you've done is bullshit me? Girl you better stop watchin Oprah! You don't live in America. Why are you telling Zane something about nothing?"
She then tells me "Because what I did was wrong! And I don't want him cheating on me!"
Now? Now, she fucked up. Because she already knew this Coloured-Nigger was always and already cheating on her. The muthfucka fucked another woman on their fuckin wedding day before marrying her! AND SOME OF HER FAMILY KNEW ABOUT IT AND DIDN'T SAY SHIT TO HER! This is why I'm typing this shit! How can she think to TRY to lie on me, when she's still neck-deep in Coloured-Coons and Coloured-Niggers! Yo, what KIND OF SHIT IS THAT!? For Your Own Family to know, damn!? This dude is ball's-deep in some other bitch! But then NOT SAY SHIT TO HER! Again, where is this on HER BLOG? Nowhere. Instead she'll try to sell you that shit was always straight. Yeah, well?
When I told her "Look, I know what you're up to! And it is gonna blow up in Your Face!"
And she was like "HOWZIT!? WHATCHU MEAN!?"
And I told her "You are only gonna tell Zane so Zane can get his stupid little childish ego hurt. Then he'll kiss your ass and bend over backwards and spoil you, to supposedly win you back or whatever! Meanwhile? You hate that muthafucka. You can't stand his shrimpy little ass! So you're gonna make him jump through hoops and humiliate himself! Till he figures out you're laughing at him! Then my dear? He's gonna beat your ass the fuck up!" and she was in shock, on the chat! But I warned her "Look! Don't put yourself in harms way trying to feel better about how things went between me and you. I'm warning you, he's gonna figure it out and fly into a rage and then he's gonna beat you up!"
Think she listened? NOPE! Sure enough she went through with her VILLAINOUS-VILLAINOUS PLAN! And sure enough while they were on a retreat with friends and family and their kids his ass SNAPPED! She wasn't giving him any pussy. He'd spent at least 4 or 5 months kissin her ass! And he'd had enough! So he went back to THEIR BUNGALOW! And then tried to take the pussy from her! This muthafucka tried to RAPE HER. INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING A FUCKIN DIVORCE! Yo!? I have made FUCK UP'S BUT NO SHIT LIKE THIS!? This was why My Ex-Wife accused me domestic abuse, because she'd HOPED! I'D FLY INTO A RAGE AND THEN ATTACK HER FOR LYING, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, BITCH!
But what I JUST TYPED? This is the reason she came RUNNING BACK TO ME. And no, she did NOT tell me any of this till near the very end of Our Relationship. So now? What does this make ME THINK, once she decided to tell me this? And I'm NOT INCLUDING everything with Dave and finally having to confront her about Him. I won't even start with everything that went on between Her and Her Daughter. Her Daughter would be tending to a baby right now if I hadn't put my foot up Stacey's ass. Stacey'd be a grandma right now. And I doubled all the way around to THIS. Just to take you all the way BACK AROUND to the start of Our Relationship and back to me making Stacey My Muse only to find out that ONCE I'D SHOVED MY FAKE SIDE-CHICK CHIAKI ASIDE FOR STACEY...!?
I caught Stacey WILLFULLY doing things TO GET HERSELF OFF WHILE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF CHIAKI KURIYAMA! Where she would then START FIGHTS WITH ME! AFTER SHE'D BEEN AT HER DESK AT WORK WACKIN OFF TO PICTURES OF MY IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND AND HER IMAGINARY RIVAL! Pick your chin up, you'll be all right. But I think you are starting to see why there is so much "bad blood" between the two of us. IF, you wanna call it that. Because I'm not stupid. And I finally revealed the other day that she is with Dave because I MADE SURE TO PUT HER WITH DAVE. Let HIM sort through HER. I want THEM to go through whatever is going on WITH HER. Because when I CAUGHT HER WITH THE CHIAKI WHACK-ATTACKS AT WORK!? I was like "Hold up...? Are you...? Are you at WORK!? GLARING AT PICTURES OF SOME BITCH YOU TOLD ME TO NOT EVEN MENTION ABOUT!? WITH YOUR GODDAMN HAND DOWN YOUR FUCKIN PANTS AND PANTIES WACKIN OFF OVER LOSING ME TO HER!!!!!! AND THEN ATTACKING ME AFTER YOU'VE CUM ALL OVER YOURSELF!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"AND NO! I AM NOT EXAGGERATING OR JOKING! I've SEEN some selfish SHIT BEFORE, but I'd never seen a WOMAN. Swear up and down "And I know you're gonna CHEAT ON ME WITH HER! GET RID OF THAT BITCH!"... ha-ha, now Shawn is off text, NOW I WILL SHOW THIS BITCH! GOOGLE IMAGES! How dare you try to steal my man you filthy Jap-bitch!
O_O
Women? Some of ya'll straight selfish, for real!
Meanwhile? I? I? Don't know this woman. And all Stacey cares about is LITERALLY HOGGING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR HERSELF! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! SERIOUSLY! HAVE YOU EVER IN YOUR LIFE READ SOME SHIT LIKE THIS! Girlfriend FREAKS OUT OVER MUSE! FORCES BOYFRIEND TO DUMP MUSE AND THEN FUCKS HERSELF INTO A FRENZY BEHIND BOYFRIEND'S BACK OVER THE FUCKIN BITCH SHE HATES! AT WORK! O_O!? So now, THIS, is what Stacey is talking about CLAIMING I EMBARRASSED HER, whu, whut bitch? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAH! Then she's saying all of this bullshit about; And don't give up YOUR DIGNITY! If someone makes you feel less than DIRTY!? DIRT! Less than DIRT! YOU NEED TO
[mas-uh-kist]
noun
1.
Psychiatry. a person who has masochism, the condition in which
sexual or other gratification depends on
one's suffering physical pain
or
HUMILIATION.
2.
a person who is gratified by pain, degradation,
etc.,
that is self-imposed or
imposed by others.
3.
a person who finds PLEASURE in
self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
Lotta fucked up shit happened to me growing up and I got turned out where I now LIKE, AND SEEK OUT! MEN! TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND PUNISH ME! Now? Since I UNDERSTOOD what she was DOING!? I immediately called her out and didn't wait for her to confess nothing! And all women KNOW that to find a MAN who will ACCURATELY STEP UP AND HELP YOU OUT OF SAYING AND DOING EMBARRASSING SHIT FOR YOURSELVES!? Women, make a LOT OF LOVE, with a man they know UNDERSTANDS THEM. But with a personality-trait like Masochism and then no ability to control it? C'mon, that's a fuckin disaster waiting to happen every time. I'm like, SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! >_< I can't fuckin TELL!? Where SHE ACTUALLY STANDS! Because Masochism as far as I'M CONCERNED!? Is ROOTED IN LOW SELF-ESTEEM! So ANY MASOCHIST MUST BE CAREFUL AS FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK! Because if they FIND THE WRONG MAN, WOMAN, WHATEVER!? They can be EASILY EXPLOITED! This is WHAT PISSES ME OFF! Cuz I was really WORKING OVERTIME, to be mindful of her and then for all this to have been thrown out about me by her? Meanwhile when we were together? She then starts DOING SHIT!? TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE! SO SHE CAN BE PUNISHED BY ME! Again, this is something where YOU CANNOT LIE ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS OR OMIT IT!
Arguments? HA! She would INTENTIONALLY try to talk to me LIKE SHIT! And MY DUMB ASS!? I'm like "Fuck is...!?" cuz I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT "Fuck is this bitch talking to me like this for!? Woman!? I know her ass knows I could fuckin!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING TO ME ON THIS FUCKIN CHAT BITCH!?"
"AND I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT!"
"FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"
"why must you yell at me"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE TALKING CRAZY!"
"you're always yelling at me"
"YOU JUST FUCKIN!?" and sometimes I would GET IT! That HER ASS wants ME TO PUNISH HER!
"Wait?! What is going on? What happened that you're not telling me about?"
"Daddy, I can't believe this bullshit!"
Then I'm like, so you!? You're VENTING AT ME!? Because of something happening with SOMEONE THERE? After awhile it gets hard to figure out what the fuck is she trippin for! Even Dave's dumb-ass complained about it according to her "He always would say, Stacey you always explodin!" and I'm like "Is that Baltimore slang or some shit, what does explodin mean, arguing or something like that?"
"YES!" and her ass would be PROUD OF THIS. Because FOR HER? It's not JUST being BITCHY.
IT'S SEX, IT'S FOREPLAY AND KINKY AND FREAKY, BUT!? She had too many triggers that would set her off! So if she got into it with Her Family, she'd come back to me and do ONE OF TWO THINGS;
1) Honestly tell me she needs to be fucked. Because she got her ass handed to her, usually over something where I already told her, DO NOT DO THAT! Notice THE PATTERN. Intentionally disregarding what I've said AND WHAT MAKES SENSE for her to do! Only to INTENTIONALLY get into a confrontation where she KNOWS she's not gonna win! And then she needs to be tended to and have her man be there for her and ultimately have some type of intimacy and fucking by phone, text, whatever!
This ONE!? COOL! Because, NO NOT COOL! >_< SEE! NOW I HAVE FUCKED UP! NOW I FUCKED UP! It ISN'T COOL! Because she will INTENTIONALLY START CONFLICTS WITH PEOPLE SHE HAS ISSUES WITH, instead of TALKING TO THEM IN A NORMAL FASHION. It's like she has NO, OFF SWITCH! NO SELF-CONTROL! So if Her Man of THAT TIME, isn't worth shit, then he'll just DOG HER OUT AND KEEP STEPPIN! And that's what she's TRYING TO accuse ME OF. Nope. Not lettin that FLY! Because as you can see, a woman, ANY WOMAN!? Who will ACTIVELY SEEK OUT CONFLICT with the intent of ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR HER FETISHES TO GET TWEAKED AND TURNED ON, but then is in an UNSAFE ENVIRONMENT AND HAS NO REAL SELF-CONTROL/SUPPORT? Oh God noh, that's a fuckin constant 10-alarm fire!
The Second One is the Worst!
2) She simply would ATTACK ME. OR ANYONE ELSE, till finally FORCED TO SHUT UP! Or she gets HUMILIATED AND PUT IN HER PLACE! Which is still the same thing as being FORCED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! I mean you don't have to believe SHIT I SAY! On her blog she will SHOW YOU THIS IN HER BEHAVIOR AND WITH HER POSTS! Even the whole thing that happened in July!? Once I responded to her book excerpt, look at what she did!? I can GUARANTEE YOU SHE RAN BACK TO DAVE and cursed me the fuck out to him and carried on, or?! Because I'm not gonna sit here and bullshit you. I think it is obvious that clearly NEITHER OF US HAVE MOVED ON! But I'm not sitting here PRETENDING LIKE I HAVE. And I DAMN SURE am NOT gonna get into a FAKE RELATIONSHIP. To be able to DEAL WITH how shit failed with Her. No. I have WORK TO DO! And I've only TYPED THIS, because frankly I WANT IT OFF ME. I want THIS CRITICAL COG OF WHO SHE IS OFF OF ME AND OUT INTO THE OPEN!
She fucked all of this up when she constantly showed me that she can't really distinguish where the fetishes and fantasies end and where they begin AND when it is time to turn them off. The reality is, this is a PART OF HER. The issue isn't turning anything OFF. The issue is HER LEARNING SELF-CONTROL. And THAT, is what she is AGAINST. And? I can't roll with that. I can't. Never mind the fact that she has problems with trying to lie her way out of situations even when they really aren't necessary. Oh and in the post you can actually see that she clearly hasn't been fucked since the last time I saw her. That was 2013 in March to April. Now, just like any form of BDSM, there are rules and regs and you have to be CAREFUL. Because all of it is psychological in nature. I'll be the first to tell you that I am NOT a part of the BDSM crowd, but as I told you all about the other day. I've been in relationships with Blackwomen who are INTO BDSM-type sex and relationships. This is of course NOT ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT among Us, at least not using the "White-terms" that I just used. Nothing changes though about the fact that if you get someone who can't OR WON'T, distinguish proper time and place, for these types of things, then? Shit goes in the crapper IN A HURRY! Thus Stacey's constant claims that I didn't love her and I supposedly made her feel worthless and all of this, IT IS FROM THIS PART OF WHO SHE IS THAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. However I always was EXTREMELY CONSIDERATE OF HER after that fuck up I made at the start regarding Chiaki and using her as a means to GET US BOTH OFF, I paid plenty of attention afterwards. There is MUCH that I could type right now. That would REALLY put an end to this, but I'm not. For now.
I'm supposed to play stupid and pretend like her being CUT-OFF from this part of herself is not something that pisses her off. So then she turns around and turns it into this tired-ass cliche of "I shouldn't told him anything." uhhhh, you DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING! >_< I WAS THE ONE WHO SAW THROUGH YOU AND CONFRONTED YOU ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF YOUR BEHAVIOR, WOMAN! >_< And this was the problem with being involved with her where she'd never been WITH A MAN WHO HONESTLY GAVE TWO-FUCKS ABOUT HER. They weren't paying attention to anything beyond, LEMME GET IN DEM GUTS GIRL! -_- Pathetic.
And that is another reason why shit didn't work out. Our levels of MATURITY, still are too far apart. But all of you know that once a person experiences certain things, especially if it is something they HONESTLY ENJOYED. But now they CAN'T!? This is what I was talking about where I said with some women their animosity actually has nothing to do WITH THE RELATIONSHIP ENDING. It has to do with the fact that THEY ENJOYED THE SEX AND NOW THAT'S OVER. And she has to think about how should she handle that part? Now I'ma tell you for the record, her ass will probably fly into a rage or faint when and if she sees this. But like I've said before, if you're going to make a book about RELATIONSHIPS? Then DON'T LIE TO THE READERS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AS A WOMAN OR MAN. And if you like FREAKY-SHIT!? You ESPECIALLY CANNOT OMIT THAT! Now lemme make one thing clear, I have lines and limits and I STICK TO THEM. So whatever OUTLANDISH SHIT YOU'RE THINKING READER!? YOU'VE GONE PAST MY LINES AND LIMITS, HER ON THE OTHER HAND!?
Everything is TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON HOW MUCH IT TURNS HER ON! She then DOES NOT VOLUNTEER THIS INFORMATION. You have to FIGURE OUT where her lines and limits are WHICH ALL WILL AGREE CAN BE AND IS, DANGEROUS! All the way around. And this is why she's pissed and is now actually UPSET! Because she knows I KNOW all of her little secrets in ALL ASPECTS OF HER. Yo? People don't speak honestly on why someone keeps coming back to start shit or talk shit. When I talk shit about HER? I tell you WHY AND WHAT HAPPENED TO TRIGGER ME OPENING MY MOUTH. I'm FULLY AWARE that any of you can think or say to yourself "This guy is still hung-up on this chick." AND YOU WOULD BE CORRECT. I'm not a Blackman who disregards 5-years of my life so easily where BOTH OF US got to know each other VERY INTIMATELY and that is where MY DISAPPOINTMENT IS AT. That doesn't even include the 3-years of friendship on top of that! Because it was unnecessary for her to lie to me. I am someone who doesn't like having my time wasted on what ends up being a woman who is literally ONLY EXPERIENCING HER FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH ME; After two kids, at least 15-years of fake-marriage and at least 1-side-dude Dave for most of her marriage.
How exactly was things supposed to go between Her and I with all of that going on. Plus the fact that she's having new experiences WITH A MAN this time instead of just bottling it up and doing whatever by herself. That's not even including the Other-Stuff with Her Family? This was another reason why I did not and could not move there, too. No way would I give up my position of knowing what is what and then being honest her and acting accordingly and correctly. To go and move in with her up in her EX-HUSBAND'S HOME, that she ONLY HAS BY COURT ORDER. While being surrounded by A NUMBER OF DANGEROUS "family members" of hers. While she's trying to fight battles with THEM, where in actuality she wants to WIN. But it turns her on WHEN SHE LOSES....
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