Undercover Boss Tells Us What We Already Know: White Castle is Sad and Gross
White Castle is, without a doubt, the most depressing fast foodchain out there. Lifeless white walls, sad, grayish burgers, and unhappy employees. Everything about it just screams depressing dining experience. Last night's Undercover Bossconfirmed this.
David Rife, owner of White Castle, did the usual song and dance by dressing up as an undercover blue collar worker in order to bust his ass on various entry level jobs at his company. He made burgers, he fried those alarmingly processed chicken fries, he stuffed buns inside of plastic bags, and he worked the factory line putting cheese on sliders. And at the end, he surprised the people he worked by revealing his true identity as their millionaire boss. Jokes on you, suckers! I'm playing golf and smoking cigars tomorrow while you're still gonna be slapping processed cheese on processed burgers! He was terrible at all of it (with the exception of telling them that he owned White Castle), but where this episode of Undercover Boss strayed from others is just how poorly everything was run—and how aggressively unhappy all of the employees were.
In past episodes the show was able to find employees that despite their menial job, found joy in their work. They were enthusiastic, nice to the customers, and had a sense of pride in how they went about their day. Not at White Castle! Frowns, cutting corners, and doing juuuust enough not to get fired was the name of the game.
The one person that didn't come off as absolutely miserable was a young kid who put his own salsa on his burger to give it actual flavor. He shared his salsa with Rife, and Rife ended up giving the kid a $5,000 scholarship to college and a meeting with White Castle's culinary team, which is most likely a group of hobos with no taste buds. So look for salsa verde on your White Castle burgers in the future!
Usually the company featured on Undercover Boss is a well run machine that has somehow lost its way. But I think that despite Rife trying to make White Castle turn over a new leaf, my next order of chicken rings will still be served with a side of sadness.
I worked at a suburbia White Castle as a teen. Periodically I'd fill in at inner-city locations and it was a completely different world.
Suburbia White Castle: mildly boring except at 2AM when the strip clubs closed down and we'd get their clientele and the strippers (never ran out of ones on night-shifts).
Inner-City: it was a hot, screaming pit of wickedness and misery. Hobos bathing in the restroom and the managers had to call the cops after hobos refused to leave the shitter after a goddamn hour. The employees hated each other only slightly less than they hated the customers. The security cameras barely showed the dining area while the employee areas were covered by at least 2 different angles and often 3.
I just had no idea that people could be so trite and angry over the most meaningless things until those shifts.
My coworker and I were talking about when we were watching this Undercover Boss episode, we talked about the fact that the White bosses HIRE SOME OF THE WORST BLACK PEOPLE THEY CAN FIND. Because they always have AMMO to use to HOLD LEVERAGE OVER THEM! We talked about the fact that A FEW TIMES, when it was ALL OF THE 2ND AND 3RD SHIFT BLACKMEN!? YO!?
Fuckin WORK GOT DONE! IN A HURRY! There was NO PETTY BICKERING! NO SILLY SHIT! NOTHING BUT WORK! Lemme TELL YOU SOMETHING I USED TO LOOK FORWARD TO THOSE DAYS GOING ON AND IT'D BE NOTHING BUT US A MAYBE ONE OR TWO WOMEN
They broke us up in a HURRY! Because we started talking about SERIOUS SHIT LIKE HOW SHIT IS DONE THERE AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! And that THURSDAY it was the Thursday's that we all used to work together THEY DID AWAY WITH THAT SHIT AFTER 3 WEEKS! And I'm CERTAIN SOMEBODY RATTED US OUT! But then again, like the comment above says, SECURITY CAMERAS ARE EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVERY FUCKIN WHERE! Where we work! And I've only recently found out AND THEN CONFIRMED that "Our Boss", routinely LOOKS OVER THE SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE. And a number of the Blackmen from those days ARE GONE NOW. But that was one thing that we talked about and my coworker was like "YO!? DID IT SEEM LIKE WE GOT BUSTED UP ON PURPOSE AND SHIT!?"
And I told him "I don't call this the plantation-station for nothing. You remember what we were talking about...?"
And he was like "OH SHIT, DAMNNNNNNNNNN! You think he saw the fuckin footage and was like 'SHIT THE BLACKMEN ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER NOW! BREAK'EM UP!'"
And I just told him "What happened for that, what, ONE MONTH, we were all together on that ONE DAY PER WEEK?"
And he was like "SHIT GOT DONE RIGHT! But we also started talking about how we could... Damn... We fucked up by talking in here...!? Yo THAT IS CRAZY! Cuz now that I look BACK ON IT, we sure did get DISASSEMBLED OUT OF THE BLUE! AND SHIT WAS HITTIN! We all come in, all the petty muthafuckas and bullshitters are leaving out! Shit is fuckin peaceful and pro---ductive. Wow."
And then I pointed out "So of course our NATURAL TENDENCY WAS TO PUSH THAT. So what happened!?"
And he was like "We started talking and then out of the blue we got fuckin shifted around and shit."
And I said to him "So now, why would we get our schedules shifted and switched up when WE'RE REACHING THE GOALS AND NUMBERS AND SALES THAT MAKE SHIT PROFITABLE. That make any sense to you?"
And then a car came up so it was back to work!
BUT!?
As we returned to work, he stopped and said "HOLD UP!? Ohhhhh!?" and he gave me this look and was like, AWWWWWWWWW, YOU MUTHAFUCKA!? He then started laughing and said "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STARTED SUGGESTING WE DO SHIT TO FUCKIN MAKE SHIT BETTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH! YO! You expect me to believe that YOU JUST NOW NOTICED THAT WE GOT BUSTED UP WHEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY THE ONE THAT STARTED PULLING US ALL TOGETHER! You heard the shit we were talking about and started, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, OHHHHHH SHIT! No wonder he fuckin side-eyes the shit outta you, man! YOU ONE THEM THERE REBELLIOUS UPPITY-NEGROES! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! BE STIRRIN UP TROUBLE 'ROUND HERE AN SHIT! GETTIN THEM OTHER NEGROES ALL RILED UP AND FILLIN THEY HEADS WITH SHIT LIKE FREEDOM AND REAL PAY AND ALL THAT OTHER SHIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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