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Here is the excerpt;
Chapter One
The Past
“It’s a beautiful night....” she had
no clue whether that relic he called an answering machine was actually
recording her or not? All she could ask herself is who still uses a tape
machine in this day and age, especially someone in his position of authority
“The snow is still fresh and it’s beautiful out here in the courtyard” she
glanced around with her eyes and felt an uneasiness that she had not actually
felt in years “I know you’ve stayed away from this place because you didn’t
want to draw negative attention to yourself, but” she sighed “I really wish you
could see it” and as soon as the words left her lips she truly did wish that he
could see how beautiful it was here.
She pushed back her
sense of loss over the time that had passed between them with most of it spent
filled with innuendo, cloak-and-dagger and regret, so many… regrets. If only,
she could see his face and that… damn trench coat. How much she wished that she
saw the back of it standing at the foot of this gazebo. She looked down the
snow covered stone path and for a moment she did see it. The length of his black trench coat and the symbol of
his skill and strength embodied in the short spear that he carried in his right
hand. Even though she couldn’t see his face, she could feel his sense of loss.
She still couldn’t believe how everything was just… coming apart like this… but regardless… after everything that had
happened up to this point… she could feel his sense of loss and she could feel
how much… it mirrored her own, but she could also feel that sense of security…
and protection… that only he actually gave her.
I can’t
dwell on that! And he was gone. She knew he was never really there in the
first place and all she could ask herself and his tape machine was “What am I… doing?” She felt that all too familiar
sense of her mask slipping and that was one reason why he was not standing here
with her now, but she knew that she couldn’t make things even worse for herself
then they already were! She realized that she wasn’t saying a word and that
decrepit piece of crap that he called an answering machine was still taping
away, DAMN IT! There’s too much at
stake now, she actually felt her hands shaking and that only increased her
anxiety because it left her with so many more questions about what could
have
been,
what SHOULD
HAVE BEEN!
And how she could have done things…
differently, but out of all of the things going through her head there was only
one question that has led her to this point, to call this
man,
at this
time.
For her the question really was… is this my last night? All this work, all
the effort, it can’t end here… it… can’t…
Gogo-chan….
Why am I stalling?
She finally spoke up “The sky is clear enough to see all the stars old man.
Clear enough that I can see my star…” she stared at the night sky trying to
push back… her doubts… and disbelief “I can see… my star.” All of the
bravado, all of the bluster and bullshit was gone done and over with now. The
very fact that she was doing this told her something that she could no longer pretend
to ignore
or erase
or subdue,
no matter how much she still wanted to! While the sounds inside… beyond the
courtyard, bothered her, but she tuned it out. She had no choice at this point.
She couldn’t actually handle the jumble of emotions that she felt now and the
stone cold reality that lay just beyond this Zen garden, just inside the
beautiful building that she had come to know and love so much as a place of
what she thought was safety. She searched quickly in the
cool night air and found it. Her star… She remembered when he had shown
it to her for the first time. The night was clear, just like tonight. Her star…
It was how he knew that the trip to Rio would
end in disaster for her if he did not do something… to save her.... from
herself.
Its brilliance
dominated the sky and her spirit soared as she stared at it. A good omen, she
said to herself and she could use one, regardless of tonight’s events.
Regardless of everything that had happened up to this point. Hmphf, I’m
worrying over nothing, she thought. Soon this little matter will be over and
done with and then I can figure out how I will deal with the losses, but no
sooner did that wave of all encompassing smug arrogance drown out her doubts
and help her resettle her uneasiness, it smashed into the unforgiving rocks of reality
and she was left with the question “How am I going to tell Yuki-chan?” she was
so self-absorbed that she did not realize that she had actually asked herself
that question aloud and like the dutiful device that it was, the answering
machine memorized yet another side of her that she had tried so hard to hide
from everyone… even him, then she recalled “Remember how you said that… going
to El Paso… was a mistake, but” she was already regretting calling him.
Why did I call you?
It was a defensive mechanism that she’d mastered long before she ever met him,
but she did see the shadowy image of Master Okina and the signs just kept
piling up against her…like they always
did… and she felt Master Okina’s spirit pushing her, encouraging her, to be
honest with the one she was now desperate to talk to, but found only his echoed
words as an opening to a lifeless, soulless, answering machine. She knew as she
closed her eyes and then blinked away the shadowy image of a Master long since
left from this world… she knew that she had called this man because he was
right… and because “Gogo-chan is dead.”
Even as the words
left her lips she gripped the cell phone tighter as everything played out in
her mind, it happened so fast, it happened… too fast “Sofie… has lost
her arm…and Beatrix is here.” She took her left hand and pressed her beautiful
pristine white kimono perfect with the flat of her hand and then she felt the
press of her kunai against her waist. It still sat in the wrapped folds of her kimono’s
obi belt sash, but really it was the empty sheath of Gogo-chan’s tanto that
reminded her of just how much she had lost tonight. Everything was turning out
just as he had predicted, not word for word, but events were moving just like
he said they would. She still… couldn’t
believe… Just like he said they
would…
Now the screams were
closer just inside House of Blue Leaves. She steeled herself against the
anguished cries. How could they be falling so easy to her!
How could she have survived! How could Gogo-chan have… failed? This CAN’T BE HAPPENING!
IT CAN’T BE!
But no matter how much she tried, she had already learned too early in life
that wishin don’t make it true. She kept trying to hold it in, to hold it back,
but it hurt! It hurt so much “Gogo,
is dead” even though she’d said it already, she still couldn’t believe it. Gogo had disarmed Beatrix so easily!!!! She was about to kill her! She… she… “Beatrix killed her” for
whatever reason she couldn’t draw any kind of strength from it, no rage, no
anger, NOTHING! But she knew why…
She knew exactly why she couldn’t draw anything to fuel her possible
fight with Beatrix, at least not as she spoke to him. Not after all the
time that they had put into… raising…
Gogo “Beatrix… killed her…
and… I’m left in an uncomfortable
position,
but…” she had to say it, she had to tell him, she had to let him know in some
way how sorry she was for what she had done to him… and… what she had done to
Gogo-chan “You were right. You were
right… and I was wrong.” I was a fool… I
was such a fool… what was I thinking… what… have I
done?
No! NO!
He wasn’t right! He CAN’T BE RIGHT! If I’d have
stayed with him, I never would’ve risen to where I am now! I never would’ve met
Gogo and Yuki and taken them in! I never would’ve grabbed life by the balls!
I’d still be running around doing contract work
for Bill. She tried to get control
of her bitterness! She HAD to get control of it! She had to make
sure that if they failed, she would be ready to finish off Beatrix, but she knew
that she would still be following the will and the
whim of others instead of
making her own path and forging her own destiny! Or at least… that’s what
she convinced herself of. She grappled hard with her own guilt and her own
regrets and her own decisions and she could see and hear what he would tell her
constantly, but that part of her that hated him for being able to undress her
like
that. See through her and her bitterness, that part
of her… wouldn’t let go, she couldn’t
GET
RID OF IT, so… like a fool…she got rid… of him… and that was why she stood here…
out in the cold, but beautiful snow covered Zen garden of House of Blue Leaves…
alone… and fearful that fate may have
finally caught up to her.
No, he wasn’t right
and she made the right choice, she kept telling herself that over and over. If
she could just keep telling herself that,
then maybe this nightmare would end. If she could just believe that he had
nothing. Nothing to offer, no merit, no worth, no value, no nothing! All he did was lackey work for Bill, he…she knew
that wasn’t the case. She knew he was far from a lackey… far from it and so she
told him with bitter affection “You should’ve been my lackey, but you wouldn’t allow that would
you, you stubborn goat. My… stubborn goat” she wasn’t even
paying attention to the fact that she was drifting in-and-out of daydreaming
and musing, until she realized that the noise inside the restaurant was dying
down and she whispered into her cell phone “House of Blue Leaves indeed.” She
wasn’t sure what it meant yet, but surely Johnny Moe and the others wouldn’t
fail too?
Without thought she
muttered into her cell phone again “That’s improbable, but not impossible,
that’s what you would say if you were here. If
you were here” but he wasn’t here and that was beginning
to grate on her nerves even more than the fact that she’d called him in the
first fuckin place. Then she remembered why she’d called “I’ve lost my beloved
Gogo-chan,” she whispered “you bastard.
Just like you said I would. Your ability to predict things
is … very
fucking annoying.” Gogo was her protégé and Sofie was her best friend
and in one night they’d both been changed forever and she knew that even with
all of her so-called power, she couldn’t do anything, anything,
to fix
this! She could still see Sofie’s
busted lip where Beatrix had obviously hit her.
If he had been here
to see that he would’ve busted out laughing at her “You never did like Sofie,
did you? Are you happy now? She lost her
arm.” By the time the words left her lips she was recoiling as she could
already hear his response “Sofie, with all that mouth, is only good for one
thing. As long as you think she’s
worth something you’re settin yourself up. She’s a lawyer and lawyers talk,
they don’t fight, especially her cowardly
ass.”
Big talk from a scientific
smart-ass! Mr. Know-It-All!
Stupid fucker! Her anger started to
rage out of control at how much he hated Sofie, but how much of a dear friend
that Sofie was to her and how often she had to keep the two of them apart and
choose one or the other, but never both. She realized one thing very quickly to
herself, for the life of me I don’t understand how I allowed that bastard to
get that close… to me. I never should have let you in that close you old fool, never. She knew she wouldn’t be feeling
like this if Bill had never sent her to Rio with him and she repeated her
mantra knowing he would hear the tape eventually, but… but… it would be… too late… “I never should have let you in that close.”
She was bouncing in and out of reality with the reminder of her cell phone
pressed against her face to keep her talking to that infernal machine of his.
Which put her right
back where she started at, why am I calling him then? She couldn’t
figure it out. It wasn’t out of fear. It wasn’t out of, SHE DIDN’T KNOW! And it agitated the HELL out of her “You’ve always
eluded me like that you know? You and
Beatrix… are the only targets to escape my sights. It’s funny, huh?” I miss you, God I miss you, but why now! WHY NOW “I really wish you were here…” that’s
why, because I miss you. But that part of her wouldn’t allow her to really say
that and that alone, so she had to clean it up quickly “I really wish you were
here, to see me take this bitch's head.” and prove you wrong once and for all.
With those words and
those thoughts, that part of her was
happy. She had saved face, but still put her point across, but then she saw
something in the sky and instinctively looked up. It was beautiful and she told
him “It’s a shooting star” she smiled, but then she saw it smash right through her star! “Omigod,
it can’t be!?!?” she stood there transfixed at what she’d seen!
Of course her star still stood in the Tokyo
nightline, but what she’d just seen? A
horrible omen,
a shooting star passing right across the
face… of my star. NO! She shook her head, it can’t be! NO!
The glare of her star increased as she tried to gather herself! She had to collect herself and in a hurry! Beatrix
was here now and this was thee very
last
thing she needed! To try to enter a
fight with a fucked up mind state was to guarantee victory for the enemy. Impossible!
This cannot be happening to me! THIS
CAN’T BE HAPPENING! She could see the katana pass through her father’s head
and the blood, so much blood! Now, she wanted him here! An answering machine
wasn’t enough! Bearing her soul to a machine was not enough! Maybe I should get
out of here! The thought ran over and over in her mind! Maybe, maybe… but she knew. If she ran from
here… the other Yakuza clans would eat her alive and that was why she called
and so she told it, she told him “I’m
trapped… what have I done? I… I’m
trapped… I can’t run away…”
Now she NEEDED
HIM HERE!
She felt an overwhelming sense of panic and that part of her kept telling
her to shut up about it and stop
acting like some inferior woman who needed to run to a man when something
happened! But she couldn’t lie to herself anymore… she was… scared. She was
genuinely afraid. So many signs, so many horrible signs! She… she just came out of NOWHERE!!!! Beatrix
was supposed to be COMATOSE!!!! Sofie-chan’s
lost her arm! Gogo-chan was dead! And that BITCH!!!! CUTTING THROUGH MY MEN
LIKE THEY’RE NOTHING!!!! Johnny Moe has to stop her, HE HAS TOO! DAMN IT!!!!
WHY AREN’T YOU HERE!!!! YOU PROMISED ME!!!! YOU
PROMISED!!!!
But she knew… why he wasn’t there… and had she have listened… she wouldn’t be there either… but…
She held the cell
phone against her forehead, wrestling with what she had seen and knowing that
Beatrix was here, just inside! Why does this
keep happening to me? But she knew why, LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS SHE’D DONE! She had killed… so many people... I just… I just
couldn’t stop. I couldn’t get out… I couldn’t stop and… I didn’t know how… and now I’m trapped! I can’t run away … I can’t run…
She knew what that
omen meant. She clutched her cell phone in both hands and wished it was him. He
would know how to get around this! He would know how to beat this, but… whether
she liked it or not she was scared and he wasn’t here and worse... he wasn’t there
either “You promised me…” she
whispered and for the first time since taking over the Tokyo Underworld she
truly was being reminded that she was human, just a woman… the same way he always kept saying that he was just a man and it took him the hard way
to learn that. DAMN IT! She gathered
up all of her anxiety and fear and doubts and pushed them into the darkest
places within herself, but they were already overcrowded with other unresolved
issues. She had no choice now! She had to face all of this now… alone… with an unrelenting enemy at the
gates.
She took her cell
phone and held onto it, because she knew that he tried so hard to tell her to JUST LET IT GO! But she… couldn’t “Otasa…” she whispered
into it and then lowering it back down to make sure that she was heard by the
answering machine on the other side “A shooting star… just passed through my
star… I’m…I… won’t let that
interfere. I can’t let that interfere” but it was obvious that she
was rattled… badly “I’ve been beating the odds all my life, but it appears
Beatrix…”
She didn’t want to
make admissions, not now and not to him,
but… what if she lost? Mind you, she had been making admissions since
she got out here and left the others to finish Beatrix off. Now she was just
trying to shake that gnawing sense of insecurity, but it began to weigh heavily on her mind… and her heart. And that was what caused
this entire sordid shit to become that much more of a weight on her. She
actually could feel the pain of her
actions. That seal that she worked so hard on to just block everything out! He always knew how to open it and when she
found out he had come to Tokyo
after he LEFT HER on that AIRSTRIP! LIKE SOME STUPID LOVE SICK SCHOOLGIRL!
EMBARRESSED ME! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! I SWORE I’D NEVER FORGIVE YOUR IGNORANT KOKUJIN
ASS, but… but…
When she got his message to meet with him? Bill told her that he
might show up, kill him on sight Bill said… kill him… or else… She owed Bill
everything, she had made her choice, but
when she got that message, the seal cracked… again. I felt so much pain, but… I wanted to see you. I
needed to see you… “I had to
see you” she whispered. I cannot lose
this! It’s all I have left now! If
I fall here, then all of my work and all of my sacrifices and the sacrifices of
my Boys, the loss of my best friend… and one of my protégés… all for nothing, all… for naught… and she told him “Just like
you said” she whispered into the cell phone “She’s here.” O-Ren didn’t hear
anything from inside… and no one had come out yet… there was NO WAY
they could have ALL BEEN DEFEATED! But what if?
She actually got through them?
She actually got through all of them!?!? I can’t believe
this SHIT!!!! She felt so angry that they had FAILED HER LIKE THIS and that part of
her was pleased to get away from all of this other emotional CRAP!
Her rage at this indignity drowned out all else as she realized that if you
want something done right, but then the
image of the shooting star nearly robbed her of that rage! She caught
herself quickly as she just kept asking herself and then…inexplicably… she
started asking his answering machine “How did she get past them all… I… made a
mistake. Maybe I should’ve fought with them.” And no sooner did she make that
admission she remembered his intense hatred of Bill. She remembered all of his talk and his hidden
ideals
that all that time he had been with them… he had kept to himself about… until
that fateful assignment in Rio .
“If only… we could
have stayed there forever…” in that moment. As she remembered the events that
led her to learn about him, the night air was no longer as cold as it had been.
She knew in her heart that what he said was true, if only for a while. Touché,
old man, touché, she remembered… one of their last real conversation’s…
She was still trying
to convince him to join her Yakuza Clan, but as usual he was still the same
stubborn GOAT!
“When are you going
to stop being more Japanese than the Japanese are?”
O-Ren shot him a
distasteful look, she nearly forgot they were standing away from her bodyguards
“What are you rambling about this time?” she shot back at him casually.
“You heard me. When
are you going to stop trying to get other people to see past who you are?”
O-Ren smiled and
instinctively held herself in check “You must think you’re pretty special?” to bring up this shit again. She glanced at him in that
smug arrogant way that she knew he hated. Even in this low moonlight off the
beaten path of trees and grass, her almond shaped eyes still reflected her
anger at where he was taking their conversation. She was sure he understood
that she didn’t have to even… entertain… his comment and that if she so chose her Boys, her best Boys,
along with the Yubari Sisters and Johnny Moe could easily kill him and
his little entourage without breaking a sweat… but why would he risk that? Why is he so worried this time? She did admit to
herself that his concern for her safety was charming and she loved his
attention, but she knew that no one would dare to even attempt anything
against her. Tokyo
was firmly under her heel, so what could he possibly
“Please” he scoffed
at her “Save your scare tactics for the fools you’ve got working for you.”
If O-Ren didn’t care
for his previous comment, she hated that one even more. The last thing she was
going to have was him talking shit in front of her about her Boys. She couldn’t believe he said that
shit, but somewhere inside of her it got her attention and she hated it. You’re
the one of lower standing! BASTARD!
You’re not suppose to affect me like this! Especially if you
won’t obey me! Rebellious bastard! She had
to regain control of this conversation. She glanced at him with one thought on
her mind. Now, you’re pushing it and she told him in her trademark fashion of
slow building rage “Let me explain one thing” then he cut her off abruptly!
“No, you listen up
and you listen good! Bill mighta helped you get your spot, but you gotta
keep it!”
He was loud. Loud
enough that Gogo and Yuki Yubari had to resist the urge to close in on him.
They’d done this before, as far as him and their mistress, but not like this. He was being especially
aggressive and he’d been getting more and more so over the last few months.
Enough so that he seemed to think he could order people around, enough so that
Gogo wouldn’t talk with him anymore or so it seemed. Even though Gogo could not
speak but so much English she could understand it very well and to her, it was sounding
like the ole leadership crap again. More of his talk, as far as Gogo was concerned,
but unlike normal Ishii-chan seemed more agitated than usual. Gogo could
relate, she had firsthand experience with his irritating TALK! She glanced at her little
sister Yuki and quietly told her to get ready while she remembered the fact
that his little guard dog Himiko was lurking around here somewhere as
well.
The Yubari Sisters
watched quietly as their Mistress and her guest went back and forth with their
Lady Ishii becoming more and more angry, until finally she drew her katana!
Yuki saw it coming, but she was more interested to know what her sister
Gogo-chan would do now that it had finally come to this. Yuki steadied her kama sickles, but she stole a quick peek at her sister.
She had to know why she had become so attached to this bastard that Ishii-sama
had to separate them at one point! Yuki hated him, hated him with a passion for
trying to steal her big sister from her, but she saw it. She couldn’t believe it! She saw Gogo-chan flinch as she raised her
weapon and… Yuki couldn’t believe it… She knew that, she could tell that, Gogo-chan… didn’t
wanna go out there. Why? WHY!?!?
What’s so special about him? Yuki’s anger quickly reached its boiling
point as she said to herself, he won’t be so special when I put his guts on the ground!
None of that
mattered now. Ishii-sama had drawn her katana and that was their signal to do
their job and Yuki saw that Gogo-chan at least still understood that, but she
could see it, she could actually SEE, that Gogo-chan was uncomfortable with
the idea of fighting him! But at least,
as Yuki ran forward with her big sister she took comfort in the fact that, at
least she KNOWS where her duty still
lies. Where her loyalties are supposed to be, but as Yuki thought
of these things Gogo was totally oblivious to them and all she knew was that
the sword had been drawn and it was up to her and her sister to stop any
intruder from harming their Mistress… no matter… who it was. Even if it was “Otasa…” she murmured…
The Yubari Sisters
ran out in front of O-Ren as their guest threw open his trench coat
revealing some sort of folded up weapon? For Gogo and Yuki they knew who he
was, especially
Gogo. Yuki moved up next to O-Ren with her kama
sickles ready. Johnny Moe however…did nothing and made sure that the other Crazy-88
guards held their positions. They were already out in the middle of nowhere and
it was poorly lit, plus he remembered the fact that their guest had come here
with a woman and she had quietly disappeared.
Gogo glared at her
much taller opponent. She’d always wanted to see why the mistress thought so
highly of him and had even sent her to train under him at one time, but she
actually already knew why. She had firsthand knowledge, but the way everything
ended! Gogo steadied herself and glared at him “Otasa-sensei, how dare you
talk to Ishii-chan this way! Apologize
at once!” Regardless of whether she was still speaking to him or not, she
did have a certain sense of uneasiness in simply hauling off and killing him,
she also… did not recognize the weapon he was carrying. As much as she did not
want to, the training she had received from him kicked in instinctively about the unknown.
“Is now… really the
time for ‘pet names’, kid?” he
responded by snapping together the two-piece rod and looking at Gogo with so
much skepticism that she winced at his blatant disregard of her.
“What is that
thing?” was Gogo’s only thought. Doesn’t matter, she’d given him more
of a warning than anyone else had ever gotten and then she could see what it
was. It was a naginata… a spear with a blade on the end of it… that he must’ve cut in two… and
attached… a chain to both ends, but how was it holding together, didn’t matter! She got ready as she
barked at him again “Apologize I said!”
do it you OLD
FOOL!
Why must you be so god damn STUBBORN! Why do you keep hurting Ishii-chan like this!?!? Yuki watched as
Gogo told him again to apologize and she wanted to scream at her to just KILL HIM! Why
didn’t she just KILL HIM! Yuki knew that he
had hurt Gogo-chan! Really he had hurt them both, but Yuki knew that he had
found some way to actually hurt her sister in a
way that no one had ever done! She wanted to just yell out for Gogo-chan to
kill him and make him pay for what he’d done to her, what he’d done to THEM
and that was when she realized that unlike her sister… she could do just
that and so she did “KILL HIM
GOGO-CHAN! KILL HIM!”
Hearing Yuki-chan’s words, Gogo knew she
was hesitating, but… must it be Otasa?
Why… I… never asked… Ishii-chan… NO! He’d made his choice! I have to do this! I HAVE TO! I gave you your warning and you didn’t even DESERVE THAT MUCH! Yuki-chan was right,
you just lied to me! Used me and then… left me… She blocked out the faint
whispers of that little voice that was trying to remind her that she’d never
seen him use that weapon before. She
didn’t care! She wanted to put the past behind her altogether. She couldn’t
show any signs of weakness, especially with Ishii-chan and Yuki-chan watching
along with Johnny Moe and the others! She’d use Ishii-chan’s training to show
him that Lady Ishii was right and he was
wrong in every way!
So much… for my
training, he realized that Gogo intended to attack regardless of whether or not
she truly understood the situation she was facing or the opponent. As far as he was concerned, he never should have
tried to teach her anything anyway, especially after the way things started to
turn, but regardless of his own anger it was because he saw it. He heard her
and he knew… she didn’t want to do this. He could see all of
the mistakes he had made in trying to train Gogo and he saw all of the things
that he had totally miscalculated on. She’s not American, she’s Japanese and I
didn’t take enough of that into account. A stupid,
stupid
mistake! She’d become too close to me for O-Ren’s taste and she, he still
couldn’t believe it, abruptly ended Gogo’s training with me. Like that would
just solve shit, but I realize now that it wasn’t just about that, huh Ren? And that… infuriated him to no end,
which he now knew was O-Ren’s intention in the first place. To him, it was
another Bill-type move that in his mind… would ultimately fail in the end.
O-Ren smiled at him
and moved back as Gogo whirled her ball and chain over her head and immediately
advanced.
He smirked at first
and then busted out laughing “You’ve got no
fear of the unknown. Not worried about Himiko either, like I’ve told you
before, you’re quite a find, but I wonder what your precious Ishii-chan will do… when you lose?” Gogo-chan… you’re gonna get yourself KILLED this way! He started to look
at O-Ren, this is YOUR FAULT! But he could sense how badly Gogo wanted to kill
him… or at least… how badly she
couldn’t let anyone see how much he had hurt her. He knew… he should have gone
to the estate… but it’s too late now… far
too late…
O-Ren shot him a
hateful glare and Gogo ignored him as she knew that he was trying to get inside
her head with more talk! She hated that,
always with your talk! Where was
your talk when I actually wanted to hear it! When I NEEDED
to HEAR IT! I hate you… I will
never forgive you Otasa, never. She remembered the day that she
came back from her last lesson and Ishii-chan told her… it was over. Just like that. No rhyme or reason. No explanations… no nothing! It wasn’t FAIR! And he said NOTHING! He JUST ACCEPTED IT!
She ATTACKED WITHOUT MERCY! She kept the spin of the ball constant and
instinctively adjusted the chain to the length of his weapon, she didn’t want
to leave herself open should she miss, but too much chain and she’d lose the
control she needed. She was determined to take him out and teach him that she
was not some silly little schoolgirl! That
she wasn’t… Yamada’s dog!!!!
He was tall about
six-three, six-four and with that pole-arm he had a serious amount of reach.
The ball whizzed by the side of his face and fighting at this hour, especially
where they had chose to meet? Was not helping. Clearing a bit of space
between them he tried to move backwards, but she wouldn’t allow him. She had to
find the right distance for her to gain the advantage. She advanced carefully
and the ball whizzed by his face again, but this time she picked up the speed
of its rotation as she heard him in her mind ask her what was the last lesson, what does the Gogo-ball represent? She
inched forward again and again, trying to make sure that she didn’t lose any speed
to give him the chance to punch his pole-arm right past her whirling chain and
into her body!
O-Ren watched with a
deep sense of satisfaction. She’d get a chance to see him learn how to keep his
mouth
shut
for a change. He was never this annoying when they were with Bill, because Bill
kept him in check and he knew his place, but now that he was solo? What a pain in the ass, but in his own
way… it made him that much more
desirable. C’mon Gogo-chan, O-Ren rooted her on, I need you to do this for
me. Teach him a lesson, bring him down off that high horse so that he’ll listen
to me. Break that stubborn bastards back so that I can finally show him that I know what I’m doing
and that his place is here, back at my
side.
Years of
experience, their time together, told O-Ren exactly why he just wouldn’t listen
to her!
Why he would not come home…
O-Ren knew that he
was only saying these things because he was concerned and so she had no
intention of letting Gogo-chan kill him, no. Gogo-chan would humiliate
him
first!
Knock him down a few pegs and teach him some fuckin respect! This is Japan , not Mexico or the U.S. ! They
weren’t hiding out somewhere or on some assignment! This was her domain now,
her turf… her home… and she made the rules now and DAMMIT, he HAD
TO FOLLOW HER
RULES!!!! The more she thought
about it, the more she thought to herself that “A woman of my stature should be
respected and will be respected…even by you…Especially
by you” but now that she stood here,
she realized that this was her first time ever actually watching him
fight. Even with what happened in Rio she did
not get a chance to actually see anything, because of what happened to her.
Now wasn’t the time to think about that, so she banished the thought
immediately! She did see he wasn’t laughing anymore, Gogo-chan’s skills saw to
that, but even in this low light she could see him almost studying Gogo-chan?
O-Ren watched her
protégé, but watched him even more…
“What… is he up to?” was all she was thinking. Yuki stood by O-Ren
cautiously watching her sister battle it out with a man she always held in low
regard, but was very curious to see what all of the buzz was about by her
mistress and her own sister. She was sure that Gogo-chan would make
quick work of him now that she was finally able to see him for the inglorious bastard
that he was “Kill him Gogo-chan, kill him
and just move on” she murmured.
She liked the fact that her sister was no longer holding back and was clearly
intent on killing him, at long last. She did glance around for Himiko. I know
you’re watching. Pretty cocky to leave your master to fend for himself like
this, whatever! It did dawn on Yuki that Gogo was not using any of
her more complicated moves, probably because it wasn’t enough moonlight out
here for all of that.
Meanwhile, he
refused to commit his weapon to block, but Gogo had managed to force him back
on his heels. Whirling the ball from left –to-right she brought it up to
helicopter whirl above her head and tried to use her lack of height against
him! Again he managed to move backwards and she decided to close quickly and
add some length to the chain!
This time he had no choice, but to block! As soon as the two
weapons met, her ball and chain wrapped around the upper part of his weapon,
but then she heard the sound of compressed air and the pole-arm split before
she could draw her tanto to throw at him!
She knew there was
no way she was gonna rip his weapon out of his hand she just wanted to tie him
up so she could throw her dagger at him, through his eye maybe, but now she was
staring at the bottom half of the naginata and there was something in it and
she knew… she had lost… again… and he
told her “You ain’t bad kid, but everything you do is instinctive and I told
you from day one, instinct alone isn’t enough” he couldn’t believe that she
would try to tie him up knowing full well that
he was too strong to be disarmed, ohhh, I get it and he told her “Thought you’d
throw your tanto at me? It’s dark out here and it’s not actually meant for
that” she glared at him with such hatred, but he could see Gogo straining not
to lash out at him and he knew he should say something, ANYTHING,
but… this was the choice that Gogo had made… and no matter what he thought or
felt or wanted for her. He had already learned that he couldn’t live other
people’s lives for them. That’s how he’d gotten started down this long, painful
path in the first place “It’s over Gogo-chan… you lose”…and you’d be dead. The
fact that you even considered throwing the tanto… he knew just how bad she was
hurting from that one simple fact and he said to himself, I’ll find some way to
make this up to you Gogo-chan… I promise. He knew that he had made a bad
situation worse for her and he had already heard about some of her recent exploits. She’d turned everything
inside out and many people were suffering because of it… and he was solely to
blame for it because now… she was worse
than before… and her bitterness,
her anger… at life, at what she had been through to reach this point… at everything…only made this fight
worse for both of them.
O-Ren stood stoic,
but inside she was HOT! She could not BELIEVE
that Gogo-chan had LOST! So quickly, it
happened so quickly! How could she have lost so fast to him! Is THIS
what happened in Rio ? Is this why he kept
telling me that under no circumstances could he ever pull his weapon around
Bill? She knew he was good, but? Or
was it the fact that Gogo-chan… was still hurt by, O-Ren could still see her
prostrate in front of her, pleading… begging… and O-Ren felt, she
felt so, no. Even if it was somehow tied to all of that, things still ended
too abruptly and too fast. She shouldn’t have lost so easily to him and for
O-Ren, it was more than that. Since ending Gogo’s training under him and
taking her back under her own wing, even with the exotic weapon that he had
made for her, O-Ren was sure that her
training, her techniques, were better suited for Gogo’s mentality and skills, but she lost
in less than ten strokes. Ten strokes!
Ten passes, whatever! The bottom line was
that O-Ren was left holding a bitter pill of reality that perhaps spending so
much time dismantling what he had taught Gogo-chan might have been a mistake
somehow.
Regardless of her feelings towards him, O-Ren knew she
could not allow her own emotions to cost her Gogo-chan. She realized that
spending so much of her energy trying to show Gogo-chan how wrong
he was… was childish and petty. She
had much to think about on the way back home and she knew that she had better
get her mind and her heart out of each other's way before disaster struck. She
started out rooting Gogo-chan on to help her make him see that she knew what
she was doing, but once again… as usual…
she was the one left dazed… and defeated “Bastard…” she muttered “Kokujin… Bastard…” She silently decided that perhaps, she couldn’t
handle it and that this… should be her last meeting with him. It should be
Gogo-chan’s last meeting with him as well. She knew that if she called him… and
told him… not to come a… she felt uneasy… she… knew… that if she told him not to, she felt it again. That uneasiness… but he was too disruptive!
She knew she had to call him and tell him… to
stay away… Just the thought… hurt… it hurt her, but… she had to “King Cobra indeed…” she sighed depressingly knowing exactly
why… Bill had named him that… if only… for a moment “King Cobra… indeed…”
He lowered his
weapon and Gogo could see that a chain connected the two halves and the weapon
itself was actually too big to be a naginata or was it, she didn’t know “You
made that thing didn’t you?” she asked him. Always making stuff. A part of her
wanted to ask how he had been, a part of her wanted to tell him to just apologize to Ishii-chan and they could
at least go back to hanging
out together again. Even that much would be enough. That would be enough! She had so much to say and now she had no one
to say it to, no one to share anything with and she was… everything was just…
bottled up again… Why can’t you just
apologize, why can’t you just pretend! Gogo wasn’t even focusing on the
fact that he had beaten her so quickly. To her, that was a given and nothing
new. She didn’t feel the hateful glare being cast by her little sister who was
totally pissed off at how she just accepted what he’d said to her. All Gogo
cared about was finding some way to see him again and… to hear more… of his talk. She gave him a bitter look
as she realized how much she missed his lessons, missed his reassurance…and
missed… his talk. How much she missed him.
He motioned with his
head towards her weapon and knew that she still had not even come close to
figuring out the last lesson that he left her with “Be careful with that. It
doesn’t allow anybody to help you if you get in over your head and never forget that it’s for distance.” He knew
what was coming next. Angry schoolgirl glare and snide comment, but he wanted
her to know that he was still thinking about her regardless of how things stood
now and that he only wanted her to be… he realized that someone was burning a
hole through his head with their evil stare somewhere, there!
He looked at Yuki,
the seething little schoolgirl sister of Gogo. He noted that she had a slight
tan that was obvious even in this dim-light. He looked at her as she glared
back and a part of him felt sorry for her. She had become yet another pawn
caught up in one of O-Ren’s petty little ploys or plots or whatever she was up
to this time. He remembered the fact that Yuki had made it clear what she
thought of him when they were in the Bar when things were a bit better between
him and O-Ren. He knew that Yuki hated him because Ren sent Gogo to learn from
him, while she was left behind. He shook his head at her slowly and could see
no means of solving the situation with her and all he could say to himself was
that Ren truly was one of Bill’s protégé’s and just like all
the other’s. They had an impossible task of trying to emulate things that only
worked… for Bill.
Gogo frowned at him
with contempt and saw that he was looking past her and she knew that he was
either looking at her sister or Ishii-chan. Either way, it didn’t matter. She
still had much more to learn, but she knew that he would not be the one to teach
her and so, whether she liked it or not… she started to return to O-Ren. One
thing was for sure though. That mouth of his? This was why they couldn’t hang
out anymore and she sneered at him bitterly “More talk. You’re not my father, dirt
bag.” It was more of a reflex than how she actually felt. She could
understand why Lady Ishii wanted him so badly and a part of her truly would
love to have him in their clan or at least have him as someone they knew they
could trust and rely upon. But he was determined to do his own thing and he
always found some excuse, but this time, as far as she was concerned she’d let
him off easy and she told him so in order to not embarrass her Mistress anymore
then she already had “Only Lady Ishii has the right to take your life and if
she was truly offended she wouldn’t have let you draw your weapon.” But as she
walked away she couldn’t look her sister or her Mistress in the eye because she
knew…whether I like it or not… I miss you
Otasa…
He nodded, “Talk
tough all you want, but you’re still a kid and I hope you don’t find out the
hard way that this is a game for adults.”
“A game for adults”
O-Ren remembered as she spoke into her cell phone and she told him… damn, she told… his infernal machine
“You don’t see anything as a game… especially not something involving life and
death. Just that one time of seeing you in action and remembering the secrets
that you had shared with me. The things
that we had talked about?” she now could appreciate this old stupid
answering machine of his. It would keep chugging along, recording away, until
the person calling… hung up. And she didn’t
want to hang up as she realized that Gogo-chan had become very angry at the way
you started trying to push me. Kept questioning everything I was doing, even
how I was treating her. What did you know? What do you think you
know? You and your Western bullshit,
again she was trying to convince herself, but she made sure not to utter a word
into her cell phone. He doesn’t understand, at least not how things work for
us. Even though she knew that she didn’t exactly tell him anything
that he could have used to learn
how things work… for them. But with what’s happening now,
she asked herself, is that why you became so persistent for me to change up,
was this it?
O-Ren shook her head
and finally spoke into her phone “It doesn’t matter now.” Nothing else mattered
now, but this fight. She’d been so thorough before, how could Beatrix have
survived and she told him, she told his machine “It’s a personal matter Ren,
stay out of it. Let Bill clean up his own mess. Those were the words you said
to me old man…” She almost felt bad… almost, but she could see it now and now
she knew why she had called as she said “You tried so hard to convince me not
to go” I won’t
lose, she has to be exhausted and she killed my men, crippled Sofie
and my beloved… Gogo-chan. What am I going
to do with Yuki-chan? How will I tell her this? My precious protégé, my
precious little girl, how could she have died
like that? She also realized that now all she had was Yuki-chan and all
Yuki-chan knew, she had learned from her and it… made her nervous. If, if what was happening now, truly was a
reflection of O-Ren’s past mistakes, then even her precious Yuki-Chan was
doomed to die the same way that her elder sister had.
NO! I won’t allow that! I won’t! Then something told her to tell
him! Tell him to take Yuki-chan and take her away with him! But she knew Yuki
would NEVER
go ANYWHERE
WITH HIM!
O-Ren knew that she had set her trap so well that it was too well and now she was
the one CAUGHT IN IT! If she died here? The other clans that O-Ren had
mocked? She knew that, Yuki doesn’t
stand a chance! She can’t handle the responsibility, but then she told him
“I just wanted to prove… that I knew what I was doing, but …it got out of control” perhaps, I need to re-think some things and
maybe, trying to get away from you was not as smart as I thought. If I can make
sure that at least Yuki-chan survives, at least one. O-Ren was almost thankful
that Yuki-chan had not been here tonight. She knew she could easily have called her
and the remaining Crazy-88, but that might send the absolute wrong signal to
some of the malcontents on the Crime Council or worse… she might actually kill
them too.
She looked up at her
star and she finally admitted, finally told him “Life. Life has never been good
to me… but… you always have. I have
to win this, but I have so much more to say to you, but… It’s time, she’s here…
I have to go now. I…” I shouldn’t say
it, but what if I “No. I will do it differently this time. I… wanna see you. I, we… we need to talk… I made a
mistake… I chose the wrong path… I… chose
the wrong man… I have so much more to say, but… I have to go” she whispered
his name over and over slowly, knowing that the infernal machine on the other
end was still buzzing away while her star continued to burn bright in the cold
night air “I promise you that I will do things differently this time and I
won’t run, things will be different for
us this time” she looked up at her star as it burned its brightest and it
told her everything she desperately didn’t want to hear. It told her…
that there would be no… next time…
and what made it worse was that somewhere on the other end, beyond this
infernal machine, was a man that knew how to get past this, how to protect her…
from herself… and she couldn’t reach
him “I can’t fall here… Yuki-chan… needs me… and I realize
now… that I needed you… I realize that all of your bitching and moaning was
because… you needed me too… I swear it… just one last time… I love you, do you hear me my stubborn
goat, I love you... and I’m sorry…
please… please forgive me, please” I
love you so very much and I’m sorry. So very, very, sorry to have wasted so
much time that we could have spent together. With that… O-Ren put the cell
phone down and blocked out everything… and everyone…as she walked down the snow
covered stone pathway towards her destiny knowing that the infernal machine…
was still recording….
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