I am starting to encounter LOCALS who have approached me to get my website information and buy my work. Of course I've already HIGHLIGHTED my struggles for hours at my other job, where I am FINALLY making headway on that front! It is STILL going to be close! BOTTOM LINE IS THIS;
I am NOT going to lose my mind and lose my cool and go and do something STUPID! Because I'm feeling the heat and pressure and letting frustration give way to dumb desperation.
This is why I took it PERSONAL. When Stacey put on her blog right after everything ended that I was raised to be BITTER AND ANGRY. I'm sorry, but, bitter and angry Black American Men GET THEMSELVES KILLED. Because they can't CONTROL. THEIR EMOTIONS BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THEY ARE UNDER TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BEGIN WITH. Then the ADDED FACTOR OF BEING RAISED, to be, lemme TYPE THAT AGAIN;
A Black American MAN. Raised from being a BOY. To be BITTER AND ANGRY? I have to ADMIT that Stacey has REALLY HELPED IN PROVING THAT WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T ACTUALLY KNOW SHIT ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, IT SHOWS! Here in Nazi-America? Bitter and Angry Blackmen either funnel that into SPORTS. SELLING OR TAKING DRUGS. BEING VIOLENT, then promptly GETTING ARRESTED EARLY AND OFTEN. Meaning they become juvenile criminals from JUMP! So this is why I said that what SHE SAID was HELPFUL! Because it allowed me to see that she knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BORN AND RAISED HERE AS A BLACK AMERICAN. Let alone a Black American BOY! You don't REACH MY AGE. When you are raised to be bitter and angry as a Black American Boy. Because there are TOO MANY PITFALLS AND TRICKS AND TRAPS! Meant to make you self-destruct. And that is something where I've already POSTED ENOUGH PROOF OF THAT. But also STATISTICALLY, for what it is worth. That also BACKS ME UP with what I say. You CAN'T BE bitter and angry Blackman in America SIMPLY FOR THE SAKE OF BEING BITTER AND ANGRY! If you are, then you are BITTER AND HOMELESS! And it is THAT SIMPLE. Because WHITE AMERICANS WON'T GIVE YOU JOB FOR STARTERS! So you don't reach My Age when you're set up for failure like that. The type of Blackman she is/was talking about? They tend to SELF-DESTRUCT IMMEDIATELY! Not, they get to be almost 44 YEARS OLD!
Even HEALTHWISE, as a Blackman, you can't be RAISED bitter and angry. Because that will eventually catch up to you as the aforementioned trips and tracks and pitfalls of White Supremacy and Bigotry, MAKE YOU AN EASY MARK TO SPOT! Now? I type all of THAT to say THIS! The man in this article? I? I don't know what he must have been going through in his life, BUT?! When you become so DESPERATE FOR MONEY, that you use a FAKE GUN A TOY GUN to pull a robbery? It's sad to me, because it's clear this Blackman was at the end of his rope and now his family is in shock and LOOK, AS A MAN? Pride, AS A MAN, ESPECIALLY AS A BLACKMAN.
Probably was BARELY GETTING BY. PROBABLY was BARELY MAKING BILLS and trying to keep putting food on the table for his family and something probably, FINALLY, got away from him! I meant it when I typed on here that just last week, WEEK BEFORE?! I was CERTAIN! That I wasn't gonna be able to keep my Verizon services and I let all of you know this is PROBABLY THE END OF THE LINE FOR A WHILE! I know all of you have SEEN how DRAMATICALLY SLOWED DOWN my postings have become and the fact that they are centered more and more on how shitty EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES REALLY ARE AND WHY THEY ARE THAT WAY, AT LEAST FOR ME! Where LESSON #1!?
You gotta have a car SON! It is THAT SIMPLE! I would be in a NEW AND BETTER JOB RIGHT NOW! If I had a working car. But I DON'T. So I'm ass out! Jobs that would pay me $10-&-change, $10.75 to start, CAN'T REACH'EM! That's just the facts! Meanwhile!? I need these jobs to be able TO FURTHER MY OWN GOALS WITH MY OWN BUSINESS AND IDEAS! So this ISN'T I need work and then it is all about WAGE-SLAVIN IT! NO! This is about using that job TO PAY BILLS AND GET COMPLETELY RIGHT WITH THAT! Then INVEST MONEY INTO MY OWN BUSINESS AND GROWING THAT! Which IN TURN will allow me to become SELF-SUFFICIENT! WHICH WILL THEN ALLOW ME TO LAUNCH THIS FINAL CAMPAIGN AND GET MY SON BACK!
You CANNOT DO. WHAT I AM DOING. AND HAVE DONE. If you are RAISED TO BE BITTER AND ANGRY. Because then, you have NO. PATIENCE. You can't come up with LONG-RANGE IDEAS, PLANS, PLOTS OR SCHEMES. Because Bitterness + Anger = RAGE QUIT!
And when I can fuckin speak the childish talk of today's generation and translate it over? Bitterness + Anger? Also don't allow INSIGHT. You also LOSE THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY WITH OTHERS. After awhile you also GENERATE NEGATIVE-EMPATHY. Where people would LIKE TO GET BEHIND YOU AND ROOT FOR YOU, BUT?!
...That attitude though?
Which is NO RELATION to that ass though
So!?
This brother in THIS ARTICLE?
He gave in and let his DESPERATION GET THE BETTER OF HIM! So he decided to try to GET HIS the SKI MASK WAY! And found out the last lesson in his life that I KNOW he probably already knew, but? Whatever was going on IN HIS LIFE? He decided to roll the dice and gamble, and he ended up being reminded the worst way that;
Trying to take something from SOMEONE ELSE, when it is NOT YOURS TO TAKE NOR HAVE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EARN IT AND THEY DIDN'T GIVE IT!? Yo!?
And that's NOT to make LIGHT of this brother's life.
But you can't lose your mind out of desperation and resort to trying to steal.
It simply makes your death "justified". And your life, unfortunately, wasted....
The stepson of a 55-year-old suspected robber shot dead Saturday night at a Southwest Side store by a customer with a concealed carry license expressed anger, frustration and doubt about the incident Sunday.
Killed was Reginald Gildersleeve, 55, of the 5000 block of South California Avenue, according to the Cook County medical examiner's office. Gildersleeve was pronounced dead at 7:10 p.m. on the scene in the 2700 block of West 51st Street, according to the medical examiner's office.
Police had said earlier he'd been shot in the chest.
Late Sunday, police in a statement said they were wrapping up its investigation and indicated that "charges do not appear likely."
Gildersleeve's stepson told reporters Sunday that he doubted the police account that Gildersleeve was shot while attempting to rob the store.
"Something doesn't seem right," said Igbinosa Oronsaye, whose mother was married to Gildersleeve. "Reggie doesn't even own a gun. He couldn't own a gun if he wanted to."
A man who identified himself as the shooter's brother declined to comment Sunday morning at the shooter's Southwest Side home, saying only that the family was doing OK but had been through a traumatic time and wanted to keep things private.
No one was at the store Sunday afternoon, a day it normally is closed.
The incident happened about 7 p.m. Saturday at the Agencia Mexicana, 2701 W. 51st St.
A customer was making a financial transaction with a worker at the store, which also serves as a currency exchange, when a masked man entered, announced a robbery and pulled out a gun, said Anthony Guglielmi, a spokesman for Chicago police.
According to several law enforcement sources, the gun was a toy gun. Another law enforcement source said it was paintball gun. Guglielmi could not confirm that.
"They got into some kind of confrontation, which led to him being shot," Guglielmi said of the customer and the suspected robber.
The customer fired multiple times, fatally wounding him, Guglielmi said. No one else was shot.
At least two staffers were working at the the time, including a 55-year-old woman and a 17-year-old girl.
Police have referred the case to the Cook County state's attorney's office to "determine if there's any reason to charge" the shooter, said Guglielmi, who added that in addition to reviewing the facts, they will be looking at video surveillance from the incident.
No charges had been filed as of late Sunday afternoon, according to Sally Daly, a spokeswoman for the state's attorney's office.
Gildersleeve had a "lengthy" arrest history, including at least one for robbery, and was out on bond from an unrelated incident from Oct. 23, Guglielmi said.
Police said the shooter, a 44-year-old man, has a valid concealed carry license and a valid firearm owner's identification card.
Oronsaye said he wasn't convinced the shooter acted properly.
"Some people don't actually know how to use guns," he said. "They go to firing ranges, but it's not the same as a bullet going into someone's body, it's not the same as a bullet going into flesh. They should be able to wound first, kill next. He didn't deserve to get shot multiple times.
"You just took a brother, you just took a father from a lot of people. Somebody's got to answer for that."
Oronsaye chuckled when recalling his stepfather's jokes and love of playing cards, and said his family is devastated at what happened.
"I'm the strong one in the family and I was crying this morning. So how do you think they feel?" Oronsaye said. "Now my heart feels like ice. I loved that man so dearly."
Jeremy Gorner, Greg Pratt and Megan Crepeau contributed.
Copyright © 2015, Chicago Tribune
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